Drop Dead Gerard

Gerard woke up from his crap filled apartment.
the horrifying smell of rotten pizza boxes grew stronger and made Gerard wonder why the fuck he bothers getting up.
But something was different he heard someones else breathing.
"WHAT THE FUCK"
the person next to him turned round to face him
"Morning honey did you sleep well, ha ha well course you didn't you horny little devil"
Bob was lying there naked on his bed wearing only heavy red lipstick and a huge pink wig!
"BOB WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING IN MY BED AND PUT SOME CLOTHES ON FOR CHRIST SAKE!" screamed Gerard
"Ohhh i see how it is! I was just sex for you wasn't i" Bob sobbed dramatical
"JUST GET OUT"
"FINE I'm leaving but next time you want a blow job don't come crying to me!"said bob before leaving the apartment but naked.
Gerard slapped himself "Did i just see what i thought i did..." Gerard shuddered at the thought "Eww bob in drag"
"Okay I'm totally loosing my mind here"Gerard thought to himself.
For a good few Minuit's Gerard didn't know what to do with himself as he was waay to mentally disturbed .
He eventually got the courage to go down stairs and make himself some cornflakes and toast smothered with chocolate spread and watch the crappy morning shows on TV.
Suddenly the door swung open and smoke gushed in through the door.
when the smoke eventually blew away all that was left standing there was frank covered in bling a track suit and a baseball cap swung round his head.
"SAPPNIN G"
Gerard just looked at him with wide eyes and his mouth dropped open
"SPEAK TO ME FOOL, YOU WELL LOOK LIKE YOU JUST SEEN A GHOST MAN!!"
"Uhh....uh....uh....frank? going for a new look?"
"New look? BRAAAAP " Frank laughed "What you speaking' bout fool, you is like making no sense!"
"riiiiiight..."Gerard was confused beyond belief
"Anyways we is gonna be well late for pizza cottage if you don't like get your ass in your Austen martin"
"MY WHAT"
"Your Austen martin, G IS YOU GONE DEF OR SUM FINK" Frank put on his shades "Lets do this thaaang"
"Wait i have an Austen martin?"
"G you is well the richest beaach in new jersey fool, don't you memmba those hot chicks paying you a visit the oda day and you where like...anyone for a threesome and they all screamed and you well bedded them all G!"Frank giggled
"........................................i-..........................................that must have slipped my mind"
"Anyways G enough of this chitter chatter shit we got a job too do"
After hitting 3 lampposts and 1 dog frank arrived at Pizza cottage where frank and Gerard worked under the management of Mikey delivering pizzas.
"FRANK GERARD!! GET YOUR ASSES OVER HERE THIS MINUIT" came the thunderous voice of a butch muscular man from inside of pizza cottage.
Gerard took a closer look at the man and realized it was actually a butch version of his brother
"HOLY CRAP MIKEY WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED TO YOU?"
"GERARD DON'T YOU USE THAT DISGUSTING TONE WITH ME OR IL FUCKING BRAKE YOU, YOU GOT ME NOW GET THE FUCK BACK INSIDE AND I WANT YOU TO DELIVER THESE PIZZAS TO ROOM 302, NEW JERSEY APARTMENTS YOU FUCKING GOT THAT! YEEEEEEAHHH WHO'S MIKEYS LITTLE BITCH!!!?"yelled mikey
"we is on our way M dawwwg!"
Gerard and frank hopped back into the car and back down tot he apartments.
"Something odds going on here frank..."
"Jesus G did you bump your head or some shit you is well messed up today, if it was me id be like fuck this and go fucking sleep" frank babbled on.
"frank you actually make no sense to me you know that!"
Gerard grabbed the pizza from the back of the car and made his way inside.
The apartment was the poshest apartment he had ever seen in his life.
The plants and paintings lightened up the place with color and the huge windows brought allot of light into the room. The floor was marble and the walls where all wallpapered perfectly.
He went into the lift and went towards room 302.
Gerard knocked on the door 3 times and waited for a reply.
"Oh its the pizza guy"
"You better go answer it"
"Awwwdo i have to baby id rather stay here and taste you" The girl from inside the room giggled
The door opened and Lindsey stepped out with a huge grin on her face . She had bright purple hair and wore pink lipstick.
"Heyy dude thanks , heres your money" Lindsey handed Gerard the money but Gerard just stood there staring at her.
"Urmm...excuse me....dude are you okay" Said Lindsey
"Whats going on baby?" Came another voice Gerard recognized from room
Lydia walked over to Lindsey and wrapped her arm around her waste
She had short Dirty blond hair and straight bangs across her forehead, she still wore dead red lipstick.
"you look a Little familiar do i know you from somewhere? said Lydia looking at Gerard
"uhh....no i don't think so"
Lydia shrugged and shouted "SELENA GET HIM" before crashing her lips on Lindsey's
Selena the cat attacked Gerard biting and scratching his face until he began to bleed
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!

"GERARD...GERARD WAKE UP YOUR HAVING A NIGHTMARE" Lydia shook him until his eyes opened and he jumped up hugging Lydia
Gerard's eyes where wide and he took a look around and noticed he was back in Lydia's room
"Wow...Ive never been so relieved to be back in hell"Said Gerard still holding on to Lydia