No One Does It Better

“I need to go.” I whispered across the kitchen counter as Mike stood holding a mug close to his chest. He looked up at me and nodded his head knowingly.
I couldn’t stop my mind from thinking… all night I was flooded with guilt for abandoning Jake and being with Mike. Nothing happened between us yet I still felt so guilty.

“What are you going to say?” Mike replied after taking a sip of his mug.
I stared up at him blankly running my fingers through my hair. What was I going to say? I still didn’t know what my decision was… It would be great if I could make up my mind for a change.
“I… don’t know…” I trailed off as I picked up my car keys. “I guess I have a long drive to figure that out.”
“Want me to come with you?”
yes
“I don’t know if that would be such a good idea.” I said giving him a soft smile.

---

I tapped my fingers nervously on the steering wheel as I finally pulled up against my apartment. The cold wind made the hairs on my arm stand on end as I walked up to the front door.
I was so nervous. I could feel my stomach doing flips while I unlocked the front door. Why was I freaking out? I had planned this conversation in my head already.

There was an odd silence in the apartment… it looked slightly different. Was it cleaner?

I made my way through every room in search of Jake. Finally I reached the bedroom where I opened the door.

There was an old suitcase sitting open on the bed in front of me. It was filled to the top with Jake’s clothes. I stared down at it as a noise came from the closet, Jake walked out carrying some of his belongings.

“Jake…I” I whispered at I stared at him. My mind went completely blank. Everything I had planned on saying all of a sudden disappeared from my mind.

“Jessie, you don’t need to say anything… I know.” Jake stated as he dropped some more things into the suitcase.
I sat down on the bed as I watched him fold his clothes. I was completely silent trying to find the right words to say.
“I don’t know what… huh?” I said dumbly.
Jake chuckled slightly and shook his head. “I’m going to miss this.” He mumbled quietly causing me to raise an eyebrow.
“Miss what? Why are going to miss it?”
“I’m going to miss you being all… I don’t know… adorable. I’m staying with my parents for a while until I figure things out.” He said sitting down beside me.
We both sat staring at the wall in front of us as silence worked its way into the room.

“I’m so sorry Jake. I fucked up.” I uttered softly.
I heard Jake take a deep breath.

“I want to say that it’s okay… but its not.” He stated calmly “All I want to do is go and find Mike and beat the shit out of him… but that’s not going to make you stay with me. I don’t want to have to convince you to love me… I want you to do that on your own- but I know that’s not going to happen. I meant everything I ever said to you. I really love you Jessie and It’s going to kill me to watch you go off with someone else but I know that I have to let you go…”
I looked over at Jake as his gaze was focused on his hands.
“I love you Jake… I do… It’s just around him I feel like a completely different person. I tried really hard to forget about him and just be with you, but he always found a way to get back in my mind.”

Jake put his hand supportively on mine.
“I get it. He was the first guy you loved… I’m in no place to try and compete with that.”
Jake stood up, closing his suitcase. I stood up and watched as he lugged it off of the bed.

“If you decided to change your mind, you know where to find me… but don’t expect me to be waiting around for you forever.” Jake said leaving a kiss on my temple. I watched him as he walked out of the room. As soon as the sound of the front door closing hit my ears, I felt myself freeze—physically and mentally.

---

I glared at my phone as it rang in my hand.
Mike
I watched as it rang out, and as he rang again… and again… and again.

Can I just start over? Please?

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“Bye Pa! I love you” I said wrapping my arms around my dad causing him to chuckle.
“Seeya Jess Jess. Call me once you get settled in! I’m going to miss my little princess being around all the time.” He said pretending to cry.
A laugh escaped my lips.
“Sure thing old man. I’m sure you’re not going to miss your food supplies mysteriously disappearing though.” I stated as I walked towards the car. I threw my hand up in a wave and Jake started to drive away from my dad’s house.

---

“This is weird right?” Jake said excitedly. “I mean, we’re finally moving out of San Diego and I get to officially live with the girl I love.”
I spun my head around and looked at his tan face form a smile.
“It’s totally weird, but I would have it any differently.” Jake moved his free hand over to mine linking our fingers.
“I love you Jessie.” He voiced over the sound of the engine.
“Love you too baby.” I whispered back.
I had this weird feeling inside of me at that moment, I felt happy.