Trust Me

As soon as my brain started to slip into consciousness, I shot up and stuck out my hand, fumbling wildly for the assistance button. The second my finger found it, I pressed it repeatedly, not stopping until the blonde nurse had come back into the room.

“You rang?” She joked, out of breath. I felt a little bad; she might have thought that it was an actual emergency, and she’d obviously ran here as fast as she could.

“Can I go see Adri now?” I pressed. “I feel fine. I can prove it. Do you want me to stand up and do a little dance or something? Whatever it takes, I’ll do it. I want to see him.”

The nurse laughed. “How can I argue with that? I’ll get your wheelchair.”

“Do I really need a wheelchair?” I said with a grimace. I didn’t want to look injured in front of Adri, especially when his wound was still healing.

“Yes. I’m sorry, but that is a deal breaker.” She said, pulling a lightweight wheelchair out of the closet. “But, if you show me that you can work this sufficiently, I’ll let you go yourself rather than having a nurse push you down the hall.”

I reluctantly accepted the deal, feeling grateful to have such a kind nurse. She helped me into the wheelchair, and I noticed that my legs did feel stiff after I’d practically attacked Adri last time I saw him. I wheeled around the hall outside my door for a few moments, trying to show the nurse that I knew how to use it well enough. She was just about to give me the ‘all clear’ when I accidentally ran into a table.

She sighed and glanced around as if looking for something or someone. “I’ll pretend I didn’t see that.” She said after confirming that nobody had seen my little accident. “Now go.” She handed me a small map of the hospital with Adri’s wing circled and starred, and I took off.

I barely took the time to thank her as I sped off through the halls. It occurred to me that I didn’t have any clue how to make an emergency stop, but that didn’t deter me. Rather than breaking, I just slammed into the elevator doors as I pressed the button urgently.

I wheeled myself into the elevator and selected Adri’s floor. It was strange that he was so far away from me. I knew that his injury had affected more vital organs than mine, but they were both stab wounds, so why couldn’t we be closer?

As soon as the elevator stopped and let out a ‘ding’, I wheeled out. A few doctors seemed to recognize me, pointing at me and whispering, but I ignored them. I clutched the map in my hand, completely unfamiliar with this floor, until I recognized the nurse that had taken Adri away to change his bandages.

“Excuse me, can you tell me where Adri’s room is?” I asked.

The nurse cleared her throat. “He’s not supposed to have any visitors right now.”

“Can’t you make an exception for me? I’ve probably just gone over the speed limit on a skimpy wheelchair just to come see him.” I said, trying to look as vulnerable and innocent and heartbroken as I could. I probably just looked like I was still hopped up on the sedatives.

“Okay, but don’t tell the other nurses I let you in.” She murmured, casting a shifty gaze around her before discreetly pointing her finger down the hall. I headed off in the direction she’d pointed me towards, pulling to a stop once I saw the familiar room number that my nurse had jotted down.

I knocked on the door quietly, suddenly nervous about barging into his room.

“Come in,” I heard him call out. Something was wrong. His voice sounded feeble and strained.

I struggled to open the door for a few moments before finally just getting to my feet, swinging the door open angrily, pulling my wheelchair through the door and then plopping back down inside it once I was past the door.

Adri laughed, and I looked up to him and felt my stomach sink as I saw him. “I can see you’re not taking to the wheelchair very well.” He teased.

“Shut up about the wheelchair. You’re worse.” I accused, wheeling myself to his bedside. His skin was covered in beads of sweat and his brow was furrowed as if he was in pain. Even the way he was laying awkwardly on his side showed that he was in pain.

“What are you talking about? I’m perfectly fine. These beds are just really uncomfortable.” He scoffed.

I reached over and clasped my hand around the hem of his shirt, trying to pull it up to check on his stomach.

He closed a hand around my wrist. “Whoa, sweetheart. If you want to strip me down, I won’t object, but I’d hardly say that this is a good time.” His lips played into a half-grin.

I glowered at him and wriggled my wrist out of his grip before pulling his shirt up. The bandage on his stomach was spotted with fresh blood that had seeped through, and I winced. “What happened? You were fine earlier. The nurse said you had been waiting outside my door for the past week without any problems, so what changed?”

He grimaced and pulled his shirt back down, not wanting me to look at his wound any longer. “Nothing. Just a little mishap while they were changing my bandages.” He said with a shrug.

I glared at him, not believing a word of it. I saw his file resting on the corner of the table and snatched it up, reading the newest report. ‘Patient’s stitches have reopened, and another surgery was needed to do another repair on the lining of the intestines. Patient strained himself upon seeing other victor (see: patient Nova, observation & trauma unit). Patient picked up and carried Nova, disrupting healing process and irritating several wounds. Further surgery may be needed again; close observation must be kept on the lower stomach.’

I took a few moments to read it and understand it. I had aggravated Adri’s injury when I’d attacked him earlier. This was my fault. I slammed the file down on the table and grabbed the wheels in my hand, prepared to wheel myself out of the room without a word. I didn’t deserve to be around him after all that I’d done.

Adri shot up and grabbed the wheelchair, pulling the parking brake back and smirking at me. “You’re not going anywhere.”

I glared at him and stood up. “I don’t need the wheelchair, dummy.” I grumbled.

His hand shot from the brake to my wrist, and he pulled me to him. I stumbled over my own feet and landed on his legs. I shot my arms out to keep myself from landing on his stomach, knowing I couldn’t hurt him again.

“I’m not letting you leave.” Adri murmured as I got up, keeping a tight grip on my arm. I sat on the edge of his bed tentatively.

“But I’m the reason you had to have even more surgery. Now your wounds will take even longer to heal.” I pointed out.

“It was worth it to be with you again. To be honest, I was surprised when you kissed me like that. Pleasantly surprised, but surprise nevertheless.” Adri said.

“I was surprised, too. I never knew how I felt until you left. I always took you for granted. I thought I didn’t need to figure out my feelings as long as you were there by my side.” I admitted.

Adri’s hand slid down my wrist to my hand, intertwining my fingers with his. “Feelings?” He said, and his tone sounded indifferent, but I could hear masked curiosity burning underneath the false disinterest.

“I heard what you said after you…y’know…tried to off yourself.” I said, not wanting to say the word ‘stabbed’ for some inexplicable reason.

He froze. “What I said?” He repeated, sounding apprehensive.

“You said you loved me,” My voice was barely above a whisper. Maybe it had all been for show. Maybe he didn’t love me. Maybe he was just delirious and said the first thing that came to his mind.

“I did.” He said with a slight nod, looking extremely uncomfortable.

“I understand if you didn’t mean it. I mean, if you were overwhelmed and it just slipped out, then I’ll understand. I won’t hold you to it if it was a mistake.” I said, part of me wishing I could run from the room before he could answer. I felt like an utter and complete idiot.

“I meant every single word I said to you. From the moment I saw you, you had me in the palm of your hand. But I don’t want you to feel obligated to return any feelings just because you feel bad about—” He started.

“I love you, too.” I cut him off quickly, wanting to get the words off my chest before I chickened out.

Adri stopped short and stared up at me. He blinked once. Twice. He opened his mouth to speak, then closed it, finding no words to say.

I hopped to my feet, feeling the heat rise in my cheeks. “Um, I think I should be getting back. I’m not supposed to be here, and I don’t want to get your nurse in trouble or anything.” I blabbed.

I took one step away, but Adri pulled me back. As soon as I was close enough to the bed he wrapped his free arm around my waist, pulling me back onto the bed next to him. I was lying on my side, face-to-face with him. He propped himself up on one elbow and hovered over me before pressing his lips to mine. He cupped one hand on my shoulder, his fingers sneaking up my sleeve to brush across my skin. I closed my eyes and wrapped my arms loosely around his neck. I savored every second of the kiss, reveled in the feel of every cell of his skin against mine. I couldn’t think of a more perfect moment than this.