I Could Never Pretend

Jeff and Laura’s wedding had finally arrived. In less than twenty four hours they would officially be Mr and Mrs Tremaine, but this evening they would be celebrating their last night of freedom with their respective group of friends. Amelia couldn’t help but think that partying the night before the ceremony was not the greatest idea. She knew just how crazy things got when the Jackass guys were in town, but they had promised to be on their best behaviour. After all, the last thing Jeff wanted to do was to get on the wrong side of Laura on their big day. She was a force to be reckoned with when she was angry.

The wedding guests were staying in the same luxurious hotel in Hollywood that would be host to Jeff and Laura’s nuptials. Some of the guys, Pontius in particular, had been drinking all day and were raring to go, so Amelia and Johnny said their goodbyes before parting ways for the night. Johnny went to join the guys in the bar while Amelia made her way into Laura’s hotel room, where she, Claire and Rose were already indulging in a bottle of wine. They had only planned on having a quiet night in a couple of bars, but Amelia had the feeling that it would not go quite so smoothly. At least she didn’t have to worry about Brandon. April and Phil, who had flown over for the wedding, were babysitting for the night. They were thrilled to be spending some quality time with their grandson and Amelia felt guilty that they had not had chance to see him more.

Amelia sat down beside her sister and smiled. She was determined that she was going to enjoy herself. Her own bachelorette party had been a fun night, despite everything that happened afterwards

“Come on then ladies; let’s get this hen-do started!” Rose exclaimed, now that Amelia had joined them.

“Hen-do?” Laura and Claire looked at Rose in confusion.

“She means the bachelorette party.” Amelia laughed, “We call it a ‘hen-do’ in England. And the guys have a stag-do” She explained. Amelia had only just started to get use to the minor cultural differences herself.

“You guys are weird.” Laura joked, emptying her wine glass and slipping on her heels. “Ok, I’m ready!”

***

Johnny found Jeff and the others sat around the hotel bar, looking smart. Everyone had scrubbed up pretty nicely for the occasion, he thought. He was glad he had put the effort in and worn a tie. He scanned the crowd and noticed that almost everyone was here. It had been a long time since everyone had been reunited in this way and it was good to see all of the familiar faces. Steve was standing off to the side with a blue haired woman that Johnny assumed must be Josie. It wasn’t good for Steve to be in an environment where everyone was drinking and getting rowdy, but he had promised Jeff he would make an appearance for a little while. There was only one face notably missing, but the less said about the better, he thought.

Jeff noticed that Johnny had arrived and beckoned him over. “What took you so long dude?” he joked, patting his friend on the back. “Have a drink.” Jeff thrust a glass of Jack Daniels in Johnny’s direction. Johnny had no choice but to oblige the groom, and graciously tipped the smooth bourbon down his throat, enjoying the burn. It was going to be a long night.

“Good turn out.” Johnny observed as he and Jeff stood back to take in the crowd of people swarming around the bar.

Jeff nodded. “You know what those guys are like though. They never turn down a chance to get wasted and cause a scene.”

Johnny ran a hand through his hair. “That’s for sure.”

“Listen, before we head out into town I need a word.” Jeff lowered his voice and turned around so that their backs were to the others.

Johnny frowned. This sounded serious. Jeff was not supposed to be serious on his bachelor party. “What’s up?”

“Bam’s here.” Jeff said quietly, making sure that only Johnny could hear him.

Johnny raised his eyes in surprise and made to double check the crowd. He was sure he would have noticed if Bam was there.

“No.” Jeff grabbed Johnny’s arm to turn him back around. “He’s not here as in the bar, he’s in the hotel though.”

“Really?” Johnny was unable to contain his surprise. He had thought for sure that Bam would be giving the wedding a miss. “What made him change his mind?”

“No idea, probably April’s bitching.” Jeff shrugged his shoulders and finished his drink.

“Have you spoken to him?” Johnny looked at Jeff, still reeling from this surprise.

“Yeah. I went up to his room earlier.” Jeff explained. “He seemed fine, like he didn’t have a problem with me at all. But you know what Bam’s mood swings are like.”

Johnny nodded, feeling very much like he needed another drink. “Is he coming along tonight?”

“No. I did try to persuade him but he said he was feeling pretty jet lagged so he was going to stay in.”

“Fair enough.” Johnny reasoned. “I guess I should let Amelia know.” He went to pull his phone from his pocket but Jeff stopped him.

“I don’t think you should be so hasty PJ.” Jeff said, keeping his hand on Johnny’s arm to stop him from getting his phone. “Right now, what Amelia doesn’t know won’t hurt her. Don’t you think it would be better to let her enjoy her night?”

Johnny had to hand it to him, Jeff was right. It wasn’t as if there was anything he or Amelia could do. Bam was here and as much as Amelia might not like it, it was a good thing. Friendships needed to be repaired, after all. They would just have to deal with the fall out some other time.

Johnny removed his hand from his pocket and loosened the tension in his shoulders. “Yeah, you’re right.” He agreed, and Jeff visibly breathed a sigh of relief. If Amelia knew that Bam was here it would no doubt affect Laura’s bachelorette party and that was the last thing he wanted. “Does Laura know?”

“No. Like I said, what they don’t know won’t hurt them. What I really wanted to talk to you about was tomorrow. After the ceremony everyone’s going to be drinking, dancing and letting their hair down. I feel bad for even saying this but I’ve got to think about Laura...” Jeff hesitated, looking at the floor.

“Just spit it out Jeff.” Johnny urged his friend. He had a feeling he knew where Jeff was going with this.

“Ok. I just wanted to ask you to take it easy with the booze. I’m not telling you not to drink and not to have a good time, but let’s face it PJ, we all know what you can be like after you’ve had one too many and if Bam starts anything, I don’t want you to be the one to finish it.”

Johnny looked long and hard at Jeff and he couldn’t think of anything to say. Jeff was right. Johnny had a tendency to take things far too personally when he had a drink, and if Bam said anything about he or Amelia, he would be liable to fly off the wall. He couldn’t argue with Jeff for asking him to take it easy.

“I’ve got it dude.” He patted Jeff on the shoulder. “You have nothing to worry about. I’ll be the bigger man. I know when to walk away.”

Jeff nodded, although something told Johnny that he did not seem entirely convinced.

***

Bam lay back on his hotel bed and let out a breath of smoke before stubbing his cigarette out in the ashtray. He knew that he should have gone out with Jeff and the others, but he just did not feel ready for it. Talking to Jeff earlier that evening had been enough progress for the time being. Bam had been surprised how easy it had been to talk to his old friend, but Jeff was only one person. He was sure that trying to fall back into some kind of relationship with all of the others would not be such plain sailing. He wasn’t even sure if he wanted to. At the end of the day, he was only here to get his mother off his back and out of his house. That was, if Phil held up to his side of the bargain.

After a while Bam’s mouth began to feel dry and he felt the familiar craving to knock back a bottle of beer. He glanced at the clock. It was ten pm. He wondered if Jeff and company had left the hotel bar yet. He needed to be sure the coast was clear but at the same time, his desire for alcohol was overwhelming so he decided to risk it. He pulled on his shoes and a jacket and made his way to the door. He knew that April would not be impressed if she found out that he was drinking but he did not let this bother him.

It wasn’t as if he was an alcoholic. Plenty of men his age drank a lot, indeed just as much as Bam. He was still in his twenties and if he couldn’t have a good time now, when could he? It wasn’t like he couldn’t survive without a drink, he would just rather have one that not. Trying to shake the feeling of guilt away he made his way to the elevator. He wished Novak was here, but he wasn’t allowed to leave the state due to an outstanding warrant. Bam didn’t have a problem drinking on his own but he preferred to have some company.

The elevator had almost arrived when suddenly Bam thought about asking Phil to have a drink with him. He knew that his father was not going out with the others tonight and he needed to keep Phil on his side if he was really going to get rid of April from the house. Bam had held up his side of the bargain and now Phil would have to do the same. Without a second thought he turned on his heel and set off towards his parents’ room. Even if Phil didn’t want to drink with him, at least he had made the effort, he reasoned.

Bam knocked hesitantly on the door to April and Phil’s hotel room, seriously hoping that it would be Phil who answered rather than his mother. Perhaps this was a bad idea, he thought. April would be sure to have something to say about him drinking. Finally disregarding his doubts, he stood back and waited to see if his parents would answer. After a few moments the door swung open and Bam had no choice but to gasp in surprise. Smiling and giggling in April’s arms was a very familiar looking little boy.

“Brandon.”