Dirty Little Secrets

His eyes became wide when I took off my shirt. I felt completely stupid because he didn’t want this, but then he started kissing me so my doubt washed away. Soon we were lying there completely nude. I sat up and just looked at him. I was shaking uncontrollably.

“Are you okay?” He sat up next to me and rubbed my back. He was shaking too.

“I’m not ready for this.” You could hear the trembling in my voice. “I thought I was, but I’m not.”

“I’m not either.”

“But I thought you wanted to take a shower together…” I looked at his red face.

“I was just joking around. Believe me, I’ve thought about you like that… Just not here and not now.”

I kissed him lightly. “Thank you,” I whispered and put my forehead to his.

A loud bang came from the adjoining room door and I jumped under the covers considering I was wearing absolutely nothing. John just covered up below his waist.

“What the hell is this?” Eric asked in a high pitched voice as he came in. “A little hanky panky huh?”

“Shut up Eric,” John said with a hint of annoyance in his voice.

“Oh, I just came in here to ask why the fuck you left us at the fucking park! If you guys wanted to do this so badly, at least you could have brought us back.”

“It wasn’t like that, Eric,” I said, poking my head out of the sheets.

“Then what was it like, Danny? Enlighten me.”

“We may have forgotten you, but it wasn’t to ditch you to come do this.”

“But you still forgot us.” He looked like he was going to say something else but decided against it and went back into the other room.

“Did we just totally screw everything up?” I asked quietly.

“I hope not. How did we leave them? Were we just that out of focus?”

“I have no idea.” He sat there with his arms on his bent legs. “I love you,” I said meekly then he looked down at me and smiled like nothing else mattered.

“I love you.”

It was now Thursday and we decided to come back a day earlier because Jared and Eric were still cheesed at us from three days before and nothing was fun to do anymore.

The car ride was extremely quiet except for the non-stop Wilco John played.

“Ugh, my parents aren’t home,” John groaned as I pulled up to his house.

“Do you want to come over until they get home?”

“Sure.”

I turned around and drove the mile to my house and my parents weren’t there either. “Odd.” Regardless, we both went inside and I set my stuff in my room as I went to the bathroom and he went in the kitchen.

“Babe,” he called.

“Yeah?” He didn’t say anything because he had a Twinkie in his mouth but showed me a note my mother had left.

’We went to Dallas with the O’Callaghans. Be back Thursday.’

“What the hell is in Dallas?”

“They went to Six Flags. I didn’t know your family was going too.”

“I didn’t either.”

We just stared at each other in silence until we both started smiling then he cupped his hands around my neck and began kissing me.

I pulled back and licked my lips. “What are you doing?”

“Well your parents aren’t here… We don’t have to hide in your room.”

He walked me backwards towards the couch as I lied back on it and he crawled on top of me. As we were making out, something inside of me clicked and my eyes shot open and my mouth became tight and he pulled back and looked at me with the same expression I had.

“I, uh…” He stuttered and wouldn’t take his eyes off of me.

“Did you feel that?”

“Yeah…”

“What was that?”

He didn’t say anything, he just got off of me and held his hand out for me to grab. He led me back to my room and wrapped his arms around my waist as he kissed me more passionately than before.

“John, I don’t think…” I said like I didn’t want it to stop anyways. He didn’t either, because he slammed me down on the bed and crawled on top of me. “My parents could be home any minute.”

“Then we’ll have to make it fast,” he smiled and kissed me heatedly. I’ve never known this side of him before but I liked it. I just wish I didn’t have to feel so wrong about it.

“I love you,” I said stupidly and awkwardly.

“I love you too.”

He peeled my shirt off of me and I did the same to him. I didn’t feel nervous this time. I actually wanted to do it. We were both thoroughly exposed again and really into giving each other hickeys. It just felt like the right thing to do. Suddenly, my phone sounded like it was on volume 100 and the vibrate exploded on my desk causing me to jump out of my skin.

I walked over to it covering up with John’s shirt. “Who are you covering up for?” He asked and I just looked at him. “Do you think they can see you through the phone?”

“It’s possible. Hey Mom,” I said into the phone and my heart was almost beating out of my chest.

“Hey Danny are you at the hotel?”

“No we came back early. I’m at home.”

“Oh okay. Well we won’t be back until tomorrow. We’re going to get a few hours of sleep before hitting the road. We’re planning on getting back early evening tomorrow.”

“Okay, I was just about to fix something to eat or go get something with John.”

“Alright, be careful Danny.”

I hung up carefully and it felt like my mom knew what I was doing. I didn’t hear anything in her voice but her words could have doubled as meaning something else. I turned back towards John and he had propped himself up on his arm laying sideways like he was posing for a nude calendar.

“John, do you have…anything?”

“What, condoms?”

“Yeah.”

“Yeah, why?”

“Uh, I don’t know, I don’t want to be pregnant?”

“Well duh. Did you think I wasn’t going to use one?”

“I don’t know what I was thinking.”

He motioned for me to lay next to him. “Are you sure you’re ready for this?” He was caressing my bare stomach.

“I am. But are you ready?”

“I definitely am.”

I stroked the side of his face then rolled over on him.

****

By the time our families came back, we’d been together four times.

“I’m dying of exhaustion…” John panted as I collapsed on his chest. “Are you trying to kill me?”

“Possibly.” I continued to kiss his face and neck as he laid there with his chest moving heavily.

“Danny! We’re home!” I heard and froze.

“Shit! Put your clothes on!” I threw him his clothes as quick as I could and in turn put mine back on and hopped back on the bed pretending to be asleep. He followed my cue and when my dad walked through the door, he called my mom to come look.

“Should I wake them up?”

“No, let them sleep they’re alright,” my mom said and quietly shut the door after turning on my light.

“Oh my God,” I breathed out after the thirty second rule. “I thought I was dead.”

He didn’t say anything because he actually fell asleep.

Later that evening, I left John in my room and walked in the kitchen to my mom snacking around. “Did you have fun?” She asked.

“Yeah, tons.” I left out the part where Eric and Jared were pissed at John and I. “It was extremely crowded though. Why did you guys decide to go to Dallas with John’s family?”

“Well Ethan and Megan are around the same ages as Ross and Shane and we had nothing else to do and they invited us to tag along… You and John aren’t the only best friends between the families.” I started to walk away. “Was it what you’d thought it’d be?”

I turned around to look at her. “What?”

“Having sex with John.”

My face couldn’t turn red because I turned to stone. I started to protest.

“His damn boxers were on the floor!” She rolled her eyes at me. “You think you could get something like that past me?”

“I… I don’t really know what to say.”

“You don’t have to say anything. I am taking you to the doctor to put you on the pill though. As much as I’d like to, I can’t stop you from having sex. But I can make you take precautions.”

“Aren’t you mad?”

“No. I’d be mad if I had a grandchild at 40. This isn’t ideal, but there’s nothing I can do. Just don’t make me a grandmother any time soon. Or before you finish college.”

I gave her a hug. “I won’t. Thanks, Mom.”

I walked back into my room and John was flipping through the channels on my TV.

“She knows,” I said as I cuddled up next to him. He instantly froze.

“What? How?”

“Your boxers were on the floor.”

I laughed as he turned bright red. “How can you laugh at a time like this?!”

“Because she’s not angry.”

He looked at me like he didn’t understand what I was saying. “Come again?”

“She’s going to put me on the pill. The only thing you have to worry about is if my mom tells your mom. Or my dad.”

He kissed me. “It was nice knowing you.”

He tried to get up but I pulled him back and kissed him. “I love you.”

“And I love you.”