Dirty Little Secrets

“How did you know which house it was?” Joel asked as I parked in the street across from it.

“I...There are a lot of cars around. It had to be the one.”

“Oh, yeah I guess I should have thought of that.” He looked at my nervous face. “Don’t worry, these guys are nice.”

I took a deep breath and Pat came running out of his house screaming my name. “DANNY! I HAVEN’T SEEN YOU IN A HOT MINUTE!”

He jumped into my arms as I let out a chuckle. “Hey Pat. Are Megan and Garrett here yet?”

“Yeah, yeah they’re inside!” He kept looking at me with an elated smile on his face then noticed Joel next to me. “Joel! How’s it goin’?! Did you find the place okay?”

“Uh, yeah, she drove,” he said and motioned in my direction.

“You two know each other?”

“Pat, this is my boyfriend Joel.”

He looked at each of us then began smiling. “Oooohhh, this is your mystery man they’ve been talking about.”

I then saw Megan and Garrett walk out of the house and over to the three of us.

“Danny! Is this your new arm candy?” Megan asked me and jabbed me in the ribs.

I spazzed out of the way and smiled as I looked at Joel’s confused face. “Yeah, Megan this is Joel, Joel this is my sister Megan and her boyfriend Garrett.”

“I was confused at first,” Joel said once we were alone, “as to how you already knew them, but then you said your sister was dating Garrett so it made sense.”

“Yeah, I know this band very well actually.”

--John--

I was laughing with Kennedy and drinking a beer with him when I looked out the front window and saw Danny walking up to the door.

“What the hell is she doing here?” I asked and Kennedy shrugged.

“I dunno. Megan’s here so maybe she invited her.”

I walked over to her once she got in the house. “Hey.”

“Oh, hey.” She seemed timid and extremely uncomfortable. I thought we were over this whole weirdness. “H-How have you been?”

“I’ve been really good. I’m excited for this next tour; we got some cool dudes joining us.”

Joel walked over and joined our conversation.

“Like this guy right here.”

“You talkin’ smack, John?” Joel asked and laughed.

“Uh, yeah!”

The laughter died down and Joel turned towards Danny. “You know John too?”

She bit her lip and saw the confusion spread over my face. “This is Daisy’s father. John, this is my boyfriend Joel.”

I was at a loss. I knew she had a new boyfriend and I knew Joel was completely smitten with a girl he’d been dating for a while but I never put two and two together. I didn’t think it would be this small of a world.

“Well at least I know I can trust who’s been spending so much time around my daughter,” I tried to laugh it off and surprisingly it came off believable.

“And it’s nice to finally meet you, as Daisy’s father.”

****

“Do you think Danny started dating Joel so she could still be close to me?” I asked Garrett as he poured himself a glass of water.

“I think... I think you’re thinking too much. I’m 104 percent sure she got with him before we even met them. Besides, look at him. He’s a beautiful man. Kinda resembles you a bit now that I think about it...” He tilted his head to the side slightly as a thought sprang into my head.

“Do you-”

“No, I don’t think she started dating him because he looks like you or is the lead singer of a band. I think she started dating him because he’s a nice guy to be around and he treats her with respect.”

“Am I not a nice guy to be around? Did I not respect her?”

Garrett just looked at me. “What are you trying to do, John? Why are you comparing yourself to him? I thought you were over her.”

“I am.”

“Are you sure? Pretty sure if you were over her, you wouldn’t be obsessing over her new boyfriend.”

“I’m not obsessing...” Garrett looked at me like he wouldn’t believe me with anything I’d say. “She’s the mother of my child. I care about her. I care about who she brings into Daisy’s life.”

“Okay. He’s a nice guy. You enjoyed his company before you found out his girlfriend is your ex. What’s the problem?” He’s dating Danny. “That’s what I thought,” he said and walked out of the room, satisfied. “There is no problem.”

I laid in bed that night, sleepless. Not because I was excited for leaving for tour in the morning, but because I couldn’t figure out why I was so uncomfortable with Danny and Joel being together.

As much as I wanted to get over her, I couldn’t. She annoyed the piss out of me and drove me up a wall, but I couldn’t deny the fact that she’s gorgeous and perfect and the love of my life.

-Danny-

I undressed, washed my face and when I walked into the bedroom and Joel wasn’t there, I went searching for him.

“Joel?” He was watching TV aimlessly. “Joel, are you okay?”

He switched off the TV and held his eyes shut for a moment. “I guess. Why did you wait this long to tell me?”

He opened his eyes and I shrugged. “I’m not the best at telling people everything. I don’t necessarily lie, I just hide things.”

“Why?”

“I...I don’t know. I guess I feel like I’m protecting people from knowing everything. I think it’s somehow easier, but it always ends up with me as the bad guy.”

“Don’t you think you’d have learned by now?” He stood up and started walking towards me. “I’m not John or your sister or your parents. There’s nothing you need to hide from me. I’m here, with you, because I want to be, not because I have to be. I’m 1000 percent honest with you 1000 percent of the time. Is it too much to ask for you to do the same?”

“Well, there is one thing I haven’t been honest with you about...”

“What’s that?”

“I’m going to have to take Daisy to my parents’ house in the morning because I’ve decided to go on tour with you.”

A smile spread across his face. “Really?”

“Really really.”

“Well I’m glad you got that off your chest,” he said and laughed.

“There’s something else.” He waited for me to continue. “I’m in love with you.”

He wrapped his arms around me. “I already knew that.”

“I know, I just wanted to say it again.”

He began kissing me as I put my arms around his neck then he abruptly pulled back.

“You think you’re so smart. You come walking out here in your underwear because you know I can’t be mad at you like that.”

I giggled and said, “You got me,” before I pulled him back to me.

****

Today was the day of the first show and we showed up extremely early to the venue so we were exploring the place. After Pat and Ryan’s drumsets had been set up on stage and the guitar racks were placed where they needed to be, everyone headed back to The Maine’s bus to relax.

“I’m going to the bathroom, I’ll be right there,” I said to Joel and kissed him quickly as he walked outside.

As I was washing my hands, I heard John’s voice carry through the hall and I walked to the stage to see him singing a Rolling Stones song.

“That’s my favorite Stones song,” I said and he almost jumped out of his skin. “What? You don’t like people hearing you sing? Think I’d get over that...”

“No, I just didn’t expect to see you here. Where’s Daisy? Is she here too?”

“She’s at my parents’ house and your parents will have her in a week.”

“You’re staying?”

I shrugged and walked further out onto the stage. “I’ve never been on a tour before.” John looked almost sick to his stomach. “What? Do you not want me here?”

“That’s not it, but why...are you here? Really?”

“Not for you, if that’s what you’re looking for.” I put my arms over my head and did a cartwheel. “Joel really wanted me to come.” I saw a hint of annoyance in his face then he went back to looking like he was about to hurl. “John, I thought we were past everything. I thought we could be friends, maybe.”

“It’s hard to be friends with someone you’re in love with.”

“Were. You mean were?”

“Yeah that’s what I meant.” He walked over to the front of the stage and sat on the edge. I walked over and sat a few feet away from him.

“I was in love with you, too. I don’t think it’s so weird for us to be friends. I think we owe it to Daisy to be amicable towards each other.” He didn’t say anything, just stared at the empty room in front of him. “Friends?”

He finally looked in my direction. “Friends.”