Dirty Little Secrets

--Danny--

Kennedy came out to the car a moment later with a coke in hand, looking like he had a lot on his mind. “Something wrong?” I asked once he got in.

“No, why would you think that?”

“You seem a little tense.”

“Oh no. John just told me that if I ever hurt you he would dismember me.”

I giggled and he turned on the car. “That’s so him. So are you nervous now?”

“Not a bit.”

He reached over to kiss me and I could have been in Wonderland. Whenever I was with Kennedy, he made me forget about everyone else.

“I really like you,” he said, letting out a slight chuckle.

“The feeling is mutual.” I pulled him closer to me and kissed him again before he started to drive off. “Do you want to stay for a while?” I asked once he pulled into my drive way.

“Sure. I don’t see any harm in that.”

“Oh, now you decide to come home,” my mom said when I walked in the door.

“Is it okay if Kennedy stays for a while?”

“Door stays open,” she yelled as we walked back to my room.

“What did she mean by that?” He asked as he laid on my bed.

“That I can’t shut the door…”

“No, before that.”

“Oh I’d just been gone all day.” I didn’t want to tell him that I slept in John’s bed last night. I knew nothing happened, I just didn’t want to complicate things.

He wrapped his arms around me before I lied next to him. “I’ve never met anyone like you, Danielle Nunn.”

“Same to you, John Trotter.”

He gently rested his head against mine after he kissed my forehead then we fell asleep.

Since I went the remainder of the weekend John-less, the following Monday at school my feelings for him hit me like a freight train. He had on a blue button up long sleeve shirt with a black tie and pants because he had a basketball game today and oh Lord, was he cute.

He didn’t notice me pull up next to him in the parking lot and he was digging around in his truck as I came behind him and hugged him. “Hello, Danny.”

“Hello John.”

“How was your weekend?”

He turned around and put his backpack on and started walking with me as I looped my arm through his. “Well I spent all of Saturday with this pretty amazing guy.” He looked down at me and for a brief moment I saw annoyance on his face. “You, you idiot.” He smiled crookedly. “And Sunday was totally boring because he didn’t call me or anything.”

“I thought you were with Kenny.”

“Nope. I can have a boyfriend without spending every single moment with him.”

“So he’s your boyfriend now?”

“I guess so. I mean, it would have happened sooner or later.”

We walked for a quiet moment until he spoke. “So what are you planning to do after high school?”

“I really want to go to school for drama and acting. What about you?”

He shrugged. “Business, maybe? I don’t know. Maybe I’ll run my own hotel or something.”

“Are you going to do anything with your music once you graduate? I mean, you're already off to a great start.”

“Well, Pat and Garrett seem like they’re in it for the long run, then again they're sophomores. I don’t think Alex and Ryan are taking it too seriously. And we've only had one show.”

I stroked his arm as the tardy bell was ringing. We didn’t seem to be bothered by it and still kept walking the same steady speed as a few running kids bumped into us.

“What are you doing after school?” I asked him.

“Getting ready for the game. Why?”

“Oh, yeah, duh. I wanted to hang out with my boo.”

“Oh you reminded me. I want you to come to the game tonight.”

“Are you gonna win? Because I’m not going if you’re not going to win.”

“I’ll win.”

“Then I’ll go.” I hugged his arm as he walked me into my class.

During Spanish class, Kennedy wouldn’t look at me. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.”

“Did I do something?”

“No, it’s not you.”

“It’s not you it’s me?”

He looked up at me. “Danny, you’re so beautiful, you’re hilarious and just all over perfect. But you shouldn’t be with me.”

“Why the hell not?”

“Because the right person is out there for both of us. I’d say we could still be friends, but girls don’t like it when guys say that.”

“I couldn’t stand not talking to you anymore.” I paused and he smiled weakly. “But this sudden separation couldn’t have come at a better time.”

He looked at me quickly. “How so?”

“I think I’m in love with my best friend and I’m going to tell him.”

“John?” He started smiling wildly.

I nodded. “What?”

“Nothing, nothing.” He kept smiling. “That’s great, Danny.”

“I saw you had your eye on Alexis last week. Why don’t you go see if she’s still interested?”

“I was thinking of doing that. You’re amazing, Danielle.”

“I know. You don’t have to tell me.”

Walking to anatomy, the dramatic class with me, Kennedy, John, Kim and Alexis, we stopped in our tracks. When we turned the corner, we saw John pinned against the wall with Alexis attached to his lips. I couldn’t hear Kennedy’s heart breaking over the sound of mine. And the weird thing was we weren’t even dating and I felt like I’d been cheated on. I grabbed Kennedy by his shirt and forcefully shoved my tongue down his mouth. He didn’t object.

Following my lead, he held my hand and finished the walk to class.

“He doesn’t know we broke up,” I said secretly, sitting extra close to him. “If they’re going to play it like that, we’ll play dirtier.”

“Devious, I love it,” he said to me. “I have a feeling this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship.” I laughed then John walked in five seconds before Alexis. I grabbed Kennedy’s face and started making out with him.

“Mr. Trotter, Ms. Nunn, this is not sex ed,” our teacher Mrs. Newland announced. “Please try to control yourselves.”

John sat in front of us at the lab table. I couldn’t stand him right now. Now I guess I knew how he felt when I was with Kennedy.

“So how about that Alexis?” Kennedy said, motioning in her direction as I obviously held his hand on top of the table.

“She’s alright.”

“Your tongue would say otherwise.”

“I like her. And she seems to like me.”

My worst fears confirmed: he didn’t like me after all.

“If you’ll excuse me,” he said, getting up and walking over to her lab table.

“I know this sounds really bad, but do you want to pretend I never broke up with you?” Kennedy asked.

“That would be best. But I don’t want to date you just to get back at them. I want to date you because I really like you.”

“I really like you too. You’re incredible.” He pulled me close and kissed my cheek.

****

I took my seat next to Kennedy in the bleachers later on that night and saw them running up and down the court warming up. I tried so hard to understand basketball, but I couldn’t. I was more of a football person. After the first half, the skanky cheerleaders did a little cheer sex and the drill team danced to some Destiny’s Child song. Then Mike, the star basketball player I guess you could call him, got on the microphone and all of the girls screamed. He was somewhat attractive.

“Hey everybody, I hope you’re having a good time tonight. I just want to take a moment and do a favor for a fellow teammate of mine…” He moved out of the center of the court as some people unrolled a giant banner.

‘Prom D’ was all I saw, then they kept unrolling it. My heart was pounding. Was John asking me to prom here, in front of everybody? In front of Kennedy? ‘arcy?’ No. Not a chance.

We ended up losing the game by two points and I found John afterwards and his hair was still wet from the shower and he smelled beautifully. Kennedy was MIA for the moment.

“I’m never coming to one of your games again. You lied. You told me you were going to win.”

He chuckled. “Sorry. I’m glad you came though.”

“Yeah, me too,” I sighed and held his hand as we walked outside to his car. “You know, you really made me mad today.”

“Why? Because of the game?”

“No.”

“Then what?”

“You kissed that hoe Alexis today.”

“Why would that make you mad?”

I didn’t say anything, I just looked up at him with the moon shining in my eyes. I put my hands around his neck and pulled him down towards me and kissed him.

Damn. Another daydream.

“Because she’s nasty. I don’t want my best friend catching some sort of disease from her. I’m just trying to look out for you, like you look out for me. Telling Kennedy you’ll tear him limb from limb. How sweet of you.”

He shrugged. “What can I say? I care about your wellbeing.”

“As I care about yours.”

I hugged him tightly and he rested his head on top of mine. Why couldn’t he just tell me how he feels?

“I’m going to ask Alexis out,” he said suddenly and I pulled away with a disgusted face.

“Why? Are you down with the herpes?”

“Why are you getting so mad over this? It’s not like I’m going to marry her.”

“No, you’re just looking for anything and everything to stick your dick in.”

I walked away angrily and drove home in a daze. I’d never blown up at John before. I didn’t mean anything I said. Why couldn’t I just tell him that I loved him?

Kennedy called me when I got home and since I was barely audible from crying so much, he rushed over.

“You didn’t mean it,” he reasoned with me. “You were just angry and shot a low blow.” He hugged me comfortingly as I crawled in his lap and cried.

“We have excellent timing, don’t we?” I rested my head on his shoulder and stroked his hand I was holding.

“Yeah,” he laughed. “It’s okay though because I’m here for you and you’re there for me.”

“I am here for you,” I said then looked into his eyes. He was so cute. I kissed him and I didn’t want it to end. I couldn’t keep thinking about John when I had someone right in front of me.

“Kennedy I think it’s time for you to go home,” my mom said calmly and knocked on the door frame. We broke apart and both of us turned red as he stood up and straightened up his jacket.

“Bye,” he said and smiled.

“Bye!” I called after him.

I didn’t notice how promiscuous I was dressed until he was gone and my mom had witnessed us making out. I didn’t even have shorts on. I had on some purple boy briefs and John’s Steely Dan shirt I wore all day Saturday. Whatever. It wasn’t like I was doing anything, just kissing my boyfriend. And Kennedy didn’t seem to mind…

After lying in bed for what seemed like hours, I realized I couldn’t sleep. My parents never woke up in the middle of the night so I didn’t make light of anything I was doing. I started up my car and drove a mile down the street to John’s house and knocked on his window. He didn’t have anything on but his boxers. Then I remembered I didn’t put on any extra clothes either except a jacket…

“What are you doing here?”

“Can I come in?”

He stood aside as I crawled in and hugged him.

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine.”

“No, it’s not. I felt terrible about what I said, which I didn’t mean at all, and I couldn’t sleep without you knowing that.”

He put his arms around my waist as I rested my head against his chest. “Come on, I’m tired,” he said lying down on the bed. How could I object to that?

We were facing each other and he kissed my forehead before falling into a deep sleep.