Dirty Little Secrets

I woke up on my couch at five thirty in the morning and had no recollection of the previous night. I went in my room and Danny was lying on my bed. I remembered now what happened. I lied next to her and put my arm around her as she put her hand on mine and woke up.

“I came over to talk to you last night…” She yawned. “And you just cold passed out in front of me. Drinkin’ a little too much?”

“I passed out?”

She nodded. “I stayed to make sure no one did anything weird while you were sleeping. Sorry I couldn’t get you to your room, but you’re lucky you got to the couch.”

“So nothing happened last night?”

“Nope. Just a chill drinking party.”

I situated my face to where my cheek was against her shoulder. Everything that “happened” last night didn’t really happen. I kind of felt like crying. Or stabbing myself. Just when I thought I had her in the palm of my hand, I couldn’t have been farther away. To make myself feel better, I grabbed her hand and intertwined her fingers with mine. Close as I’ll ever get.

“Take me to school,” she groaned, turned around and threw her arm around me, falling asleep again. I moved her hair out of her eyes and kissed her forehead. I love you.

--Danny--

John kissed my forehead before I drifted into another sleep and I couldn’t have been happier. Every time his lips touched my skin I got little jolts of electricity sent through my body. I loved him.

We stopped off at my house before leaving for school so I could change into clean clothes and once we got there, John gave me a piggy back ride to the table as I rest my head on his back.

“You!” I heard across the parking lot. I looked around in curiosity and saw Alexis giving me the death stare. I ignored her but once we got to the table, she was there as well. “Who the hell do you think you are?”

“Uh, I’m sorry.”

“You’re sorry? You stole my boyfriend you little bitch!”

“Yes, whatever you’d like to believe.” I shook my head and turned around. I wasn’t a pacifist, I just didn’t want to deal with this kind of shit this early in the morning.

“Look at me when I’m talking to you!” She grabbed my arm and people started to gather around us in the circle.

“Look, bitch. Why don’t you go find out the whole story before you start shit with me.”

“You’ve already started it.”

She swung at my stomach but I moved out of the way just in time then clocked her in the face. She packed a nice performance but didn’t put up much of a fight. She was down on the ground and two seconds later, a few assistant principals were outside, restraining me even though I had stopped before they even came outside. I missed getting in fights. I hadn’t gotten into one since sixth grade.

“Well, I’m suspended,” I said, walking out of the principal’s office with a little yellow paper to Kennedy.

“What a badass. What about Alexis?” He put his arm around me as we walked out into the parking lot. I guess he decided to leave with me.

“She didn’t get in trouble because she didn’t touch me.”

“Oh well. Is it just today?”

“Monday too.”

“My girlfriend the badass.” He put his arm around my waist.

“So I’m your girlfriend?” I had a wide smile on my face.

“I don’t know why you wouldn’t be. Unless you don’t want to be.”

“No, I want to be.” We stopped behind his car and he put his hands around my neck and kissed me. “I missed that,” I said.

“It’s only been less than a day.”

“Too long.” I kissed him again then we got in his car and drove away.

“What are we doing tonight?” Kennedy asked me as we were aimlessly driving around Tempe. “You know, before your mom finds out you’re suspended.”

“Pretty sure she’s already found out. Moms aren’t idiots.”

He laughed and held my hand. “We’re going to the aquarium, by the way.”

“You didn’t have to leave school with me, you know,” I said as we walked into the stingray pool area.

“What fun is school without you there?”

“Well I guess no fun at all.” He pulled me up to the pool. “I’m not touching one. Look at that one! It’s trying to get me!” I said about the stingray coming over the side.

“No, he loves you. He wants you to pet him.”

I fearfully stuck my hand out and grazed it then jumped back into Kennedy’s arms.

“You big baby.”

“Shut up Trotter. You horse lookin’ ass.”

He opened his mouth wide, faking being offended then I started to run in the opposite direction as he caught me and I was brought to the ground as he sat on top of me.

“Am I a cute horse?”

“You’re a pony.”

“I don’t know whether that’s a compliment or not.”

“Trust me. It is.”

He helped me back up and held just my pinky as we went into the shark exhibit.

“Do I really look like a horse?” He looked at me seriously.

“No. I was just making fun of your last name.” We stopped to look at the sharks. “You’d make a beautiful horse though. A champion.”

“Don’t kiss ass. It’s too late now.” He smiled and swung our arms slightly then shoved me with his shoulder. “Hey Danny.” I acknowledged him by looking at him and his eyes melted into mine. “I love you.”

“Is that so?” He nodded and had a smile on his face like a little kid. “I love you too.” He kissed me softly then pulled me into a hug. I really did love him and who knows if we were together five years down the road. I wasn’t looking for forever, but maybe I’ve found it.

****

“You’re grounded from the phone and internet,” my mom said as soon as I set foot in the house.

“Great, both things I don’t use.”

“And don’t make plans this weekend because you’re not leaving your room.”

“You’re so cute when you ground me,” I said with a smile and she rolled her eyes at me. Regardless, I went back to my room to take a nice nap.

“So.” Megan was in my room waiting for me. She was the closest thing I had to a girl best friend. “I heard you beat Alexis over the head with a textbook.”

“God, is that what it morphed into? No, I just decked her in the face because she tried to take a swing at me.”

“What was she mad at you for?”

“She thinks I made John break up with her. And just because she was talking smack about me and John dumped her for that, she thinks we’re like together now.”

“Well, I see where she was coming from but there was no need to fight over that.”

“Finally someone has a brain. But she got off scot-free because she didn’t touch me. Bitch.” She giggled. “Oh guess what?” She looked at me and waited for me to tell her. “Kennedy told me he loved me today.”

She didn’t seem excited. “I thought you loved John.”

“No I don’t!”

“Oh my God you totally do! Why else would you keep spending the night over there and not with your boyfriend?”

“Shut up Megan.”

“Why are you getting involved with Kennedy when you know who you really want to be with?”

“I don’t know who I really want to be with. But I do know that I love Kennedy.”

“And John.” I glared at her.

“Go in your room.”

“Because you know I’m right!” She taunted as she walked out.

She was right. I was completely in love with John. But I couldn’t just toss my feelings for Kennedy aside. I was in love with him too. Well I had a long ass weekend ahead of me to sit and think about my life.

On Monday morning after my parents left (approx. 7:00) I called John and told him to come over because I couldn’t stand being by myself one more day.

“What happened after I left on Friday?” I asked him as he was messing with some stuff on my dresser.

“Nothing much. Alexis kept flocking to me and I kept running away and hiding.”

“Scared?”

“Terrified.”

He bounced on my bed next to me then laid on top of me.

“Hello there.”

“Hey.”

“I missed you all weekend!” He said then propped himself up on his elbow. “You missed the show and everything.”

“Well sing me a song now.”

“Uh…”

“Come on. Don’t be a baby.”

He sighed. “I don’t even have a guitar.”

“Ethan has one in his room.”

--John--

This was it. It was finally going to happen. It was just me and her with no distractions. I’d sing Daisy to her.

I came back into her room and sat at the end of her bed as she sat on the floor in front of me. “Um, I wrote this song about you.”

“About me?”

“Y-yeah.” I was shaking so much but adrenaline pulled me through to play the right notes and sing the right words. “I picked you up and lifted your wilted frame into the sun.
I was taken back, yeah I was taken back,
and by the time I caught my breath,
you had blossomed into something that I did not expect.

And if it takes all night,
I swear I'll wait,
for you, forever.

Sunlight, sunshine,
all for you my Daisy.
We’re getting this before you leave,
all for you my Daisy.

You're a wreck and you know,
you've got me wrapped around your finger,
like a boy tangled in vines,
but I’ve figured you out.

And now we're here,
we're so confused,
and I wish that there was some way that I could tell you.

Sunlight, sunshine,
all for you my Daisy.
We’re getting this before you leave,
all for you my Daisy.”

When I first started singing she was swaying around but once she started listening to the words, she looked at me with intensity.

“John?”

“Yes?”

She stood up and sat especially close to me. “You said that song was written about me?”

“I did.”

“By you?” I nodded. “Do you –”

“I love you,” I finally said. Her eyes brightened up and she had a relieved look on her face. “I’ve been in love with you for…forever. I know I sound completely ridiculous and I’ve probably fucked everything up between us forever…”

She put her hand over my mouth. “I love you too.”