Playground Love

“I think both Tony and I have lost our minds. Whatever is going on between him and his girlfriend is taking a toll on him. What I'm going through with losing my parents and this hate towards Jaime is obviously taking a toll on me. Maybe we both just need the relief.”. I say into the phone.
Angie sighs. “So because of all the shit going on in your personal lives- you two are going to get together??”
I stay silent for some seconds. “I can't say yes but I cant say no..”
She laughs lightly. “I knew it.”
“What?”
“That the next time you would call me it would be about him. I was expecting this.”
“That's horrible. Angie. What exactly were you expecting me to tell you?”
“That he deflowered you...”
“What?? Oh my gosh.”
“Or that.. No that's it actually.”
“Well- no. He hasn't. And he wont.”
“You sure? How about that Matt guy?”
“No! No one has.. Deflowered me- okay?”
“Well then where do you expect this to go, Paloma? Let's be real here.”
I stare outside the window, not knowing what to say. “I have no idea. But it's too late for me to back away from this. Things have gotten.. Well.. You know. And I think I've grown some feelings for him too..”
“I understand.. I know- but keep this in mind, Paloma. This guys has a girlfriend. Not only does he have a girlfriend- he's 26 years old. We both know, he knows, that Jaime would kill him if he ever found out. Who knows what Jaime would do..”
“He can't do anything.”
"Of course he can! He'll kick him out of the band! Or even worse- actually kill him.”
“No! He won't! Jaime won't do anything because.. He wont find out.”
“Paloma- Jesus Christ... Paloma.. I'm so scared for you. You're doing all these things. Smoking pot, drinking, and hooking up with this random guy..”
“We didn't exactly hook up..”
“You know what I mean. You're not Paloma anymore.”
I walk to the couch and sit down. “I'm not going to argue with you on that... I don't even know who I am anymore.”
There's a moment of silence.
“Look.. I'll be here for you, Paloma. No matter what happens- we might be hours away- but I'll be here for you. Just please, please, please, PLEASE.. Don't do anything else that you're going to regret. I love you. And if this Tony guy is as amazing as you say he is.. Then.. I can't stop you from going after that. Just keep in mind the things I told you.”
“I will Angie. I will, trust me. I love you too. This is gonna sound crazy but- I have a feeling that this is definitely not going to be something I'm going to regret.”

~

“Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.”, I murmur. “FUCK!”
I get up from the couch and walk around the living room in my condo.
This is wrong. This is wrong on so many levels. The way I'm thinking about her, the things I want to do to her, the way I'm feeling about her- its all fucking wrong! What happened yesterday- it won't leave my mind. That's all I've been playing in my head. She's so delicate and innocent and beautiful. I can't take it. When I'm with her- it seems like all the stress in my fucked up life fades away.
Especially all the stress with Stephanie.
That reminds me- she hasn't called me. I haven't heard from her in days.
I pull out my phone and decide to give her a call since she isn't budging.
Five rings later- she finally answers.
“Hello?”
“Stephanie?”
“Oh.. Hey Tony.”
“Yah hey. Where have you been? You just disappeared that night and never called or texted me.”
“I'm sorry baby. I just- I've been real-”
“Busy? Yah me too. Actually, there's a lot of shit going around in my mind right now.”
“Baby-”
“No- let me fucking talk. This new album is stressing me the fuck out and to add on top of that- my girlfriend is ignoring the FUCK out of me. Jaime, almost every night, is telling me about how his sister hates his fucking guts. So tell me- what's making you so fucking busy that you cant even send a short little text message saying that you're okay? Or I miss you? Or I love you? Or anything! What's going on in your life that's pushing me away?!”
As I calm down, I can hear her crying in the background.
“Aww fuck, Stephanie.”
I sit down on the couch and put my head in my hands. “I'm sorry.. I'm sorry..”, I murmur.
“No- no- Tony, I'm sorry. I've been avoiding you.. And not for the reasons that I've been telling you..”, she stutters out.
I lift my head back up. “What?”
There's a knock on the door and I stand up to go see who it is.
“Tony- I- oh fuck.. Tony..”, she cries.
I look through the peep hole of the door and see Jaime standing there. I let out a sigh. “Stephanie- hold that thought.”
“Huh?”
“Can we meet up? Jaime's at the door right now- he looks pretty distressed.”
“Oh- oh yah. Okay. Let's meet up..”
“Alright. I'll call you. Answer it, okay?”
“I promise. I'll answer it.”
“Okay- bye.”
“Bye-”
“Stephanie?”
“Yah?”
“I love you.”
Silence.
“I love you too..”, she finally says and hangs up.
What the fuck is going on??
I shake it all off as I open the door for Jaime. He doesn't bother saying hi- he just barges right in. “Whoa- you alright, dude?”, I say.
I follow him into the living room. He paces and chews on his thumb nail.
“Jaime- talk to me!”, I say and grab him by his shoulders so he could stop pacing. He looks straight at me. And for a second- I think he knows whats going on with Paloma and I.
“It's about Paloma.”, he says.
Oh fuck! No! How the fuck did he find out?!
“Jaime- look- before you do-”
“She's friends with that punk ass Matt kid!”, he says angrily and sits on the couch.
I let out a deep breath of relief. That was close. I thought I was dead.
“With who?”, I say and sit next to him.
“Matt! You remember him? That skater boy who's a pot head and nothing but trouble. He's fucking annoying too.”
I think for a little. I search my mind for memories of this guy...
“I'm sorry. I have no idea who you're talking about.”
Jaime sighs. “It's okay. The point is, that shes friends with him. I saw them talking and laughing when Paloma went to go throw away the trash just now. I went up to them and Matt was all googly eyed and shit with her. Then I told Paloma that being friends with him isn't an option. She got pissed and locked herself in her room. Fuck.”
“Jaime- don't worry about it! Look, at least she made a friend, right?”
He stares at me. “The wrong type of friend! I already know what Matt wants. All he wants is to get my sister drugged up so he could.. You know! Score!”
Jaime stands up. “Fucking dead beat. That guy is going no where near her.”
“Jaime, how do you know he's a pot head and nothing but trouble? Maybe he's a good kid.”
He laughs mockingly. “Nope. I caught him in our pool once smoking a big, fat doobie! He has no shame, Tony! You know what- I'm Paloma's big brother. It doesn't matter that she hates me- I'm not going to let her ruin her life with some stupid guy.”
Jaime storms off.
“Jaime! Wait!”, I yell out. Fuck. This isn't going to end good.

~

As I'm watching TV in my room, the door flings open. Jaime storms in my room and walks up in front of my bed. I sit up and stare at him.
“What? What happened?”, I ask, shocked. For a second, I think he knows about what happened with Tony and I. Oh fuck.
“Paloma- I am your brother. I don't care if you hate me-”
Oh shit, I'm dead. Where's Tony?! He probably kicked him out already. Fuck!
“But I'm going to tell you this- and you're going to listen..”
“Jaime- Jaime- I know its crazy-”, I start to explain. Anything to defend Tony.
But then- I see as Tony enters the room. He looks at me, caution on his face. I focus back on Jaime. “Yes! It is! You're not going to be Matt's friend. That's final. I'm sorry, Paloma but-”
“Wait- what?!”
I get of my bed and stand up.
“He's not good for you. Trust me. He's a bad kid- not good at all!”
“This is about Matt?!”
“Well- yah.. Who did you think I was talking about?”
I glance fast a Tony. Tony looks at me wide eyed. I look back at Jaime. “I don't know! You come here yelling at me about this stupid shit!”
“Don't talk to me like that- I'm tired of you treating me like some random fucker! I'm your brother! Like I said- I don't care if you hate me- you're going to listen to me and follow my rules now. I will not let you be friends with Matt. Okay?!”
“Why the fuck not?!”, I yell. Mike and Vic appear behind Tony.
Jaime gets even angrier. “Don't talk to me like that...”
“Fuck you Jaime!”, I yell. “You can't tell me who my fucking friends are going to be! Don't call yourself my brother! You weren't in my life for years! You don't know me at all! And I don't care what you fucking say- I'm his friend! And I'm going to see him!
Jaime's face turns red. I have no idea what to expect now.
Then all of a sudden I'm pinned against the wall. Jaime pins me by my shoulders. All the pressure on them is already starting to hurt.
“I fucking tried! I tried being a brother! I cant make you happy! So I give up! But that doesn't mean that I still cant try to keep you away from shit like Matt!”
I try to push him away but its no use. “Get the fuck off of me!! Jaime!!”
He puts more pressure on my shoulders. They hurt so bad.
“Jaime!!”, I scream out in pain.
“Jaime- get off her!!”, Tony yells. Mike and Vic run up behind him and try peeling him off. Jaime nails dig into my skin.
“Jaime!!!”, I scream. I scratch his back and try to kick him off. Nothing helps.
Tony comes up next to me and tries peeling him away too. Finally, Jaime falls back as Mike and Vic grab him by his arms.
They pull him far away from me.
I lean against Tony, my shoulders and arms sore. Tony holds me and sits us down on my bed. I cry into Tony's chest, he rubs my back.
“What the fuck is wrong with you Jaime?”, Tony says. I glance at Jaime. Vic and Mike still have him in their grip, but it looks like hes about to pass out. His expression total and utter shame. He stares at me. “Paloma...”, he murmurs. He walks to me again and I hide myself in Tony's chest.
Tony squeezes me closer to him.
“Come on, Jaime. You need to leave- come on.”, Mike says.
“Tony- stay with her!”, Vic says.
“You don't need to tell me twice.”, Tony murmurs.
Vic and Mike pull him out of my room. Once the door closes I start to sob.
“What- why- oh my god.. Oh my god.”, I cry. “My shoulders- they hurt so bad!”
My hands are shaking. I feel Tony kiss my hair and massage my back.
“Shh. Shh. It's okay- Shh.”
I try to control my breathing but the pain on my shoulders and arms is unbearable.
“He won't ever do that to you again. You hear me? Never fucking again, Paloma.”
“I didn't mean to. I didn't mean to.”, I whisper.
I didn't mean to make Jaime do that to me.
I didn't mean to.