Take a Good Guess

The term ‘chaotic’ was probably an understatement for today. I have been sprinting around the venue ever since we stepped inside the building as everyone were rushing to different places to prepare for One Direction’s last show in New York that would start in an hour. Never for once Paul would say I should go sit down or rest somewhere along with the guys. I was starting to regret that I didn’t listen to Liam at the first place.

“Hannah!”

I turned my head at the voice. Only meeting Liam’s gaze on me as he stood in front of their dressing room.

“What is it, Liam?” I asked as I stumbled with all the things in my hand. Apparently I was clutching the outfits that the guys would wear for tonight’s show. I was a bit excited that they would wear something new; I was starting to get sick of seeing Louis’ red trousers and that striped t-shirt that he always wore.

“Come here for a bit, will you?” he called out.

“Now’s a really bad time,” I responded as I tried to keep my balance.

“I need to talk to you about something,” he said again. His voice sounded urgent.

“About what?” I asked again, “Can this wait, Liam? I really need to be somewhere.”

“No,” Liam stated, approaching me. “Paul just made some changes for the schedule,” He said as he grabbed all the pieces of clothing from my hand.

I only stared at him questioningly. Wondering that Paul would do such thing, changing things at the very last minute, I even started to wonder if he just got off from an argument again with Sam.

“What did he say?”

“We’re going to spend our Christmas here after all,” Liam stated.

“But aren’t you guys supposed to be back in London on Christmas?’ I asked, taken back as Liam explained.

“That’s the thing, we decided to stay here until the New Year’s,” he said again, “Are you okay with it?”

So many thoughts were rushing through my head, as I remained silent with my mouth hanging open, “I don’t know.”

“You better call Emma first,” Liam said, as if he already knew that she was the first thing that popped into my mind. “I’m not letting you go back to London alone, and you don’t want me to come with you, do you?”

I cringed at the thought, coming back to London only with Liam sounded crazy enough, keeping in mind that the rest of the guys were still going to be lingering here until next year. Now I really didn’t know what would happen if the only mature one out of the guys was going to leave.

“I still don’t know, Liam. I can’t even think right now, for God’s sake!” I said as my eyes landed on my watch.

“I’ll give you some time to think until after the show,” Liam said, “But if you still haven’t made up your mind yet, then you leave no choice.”

“Okay, whatever, but we really need to go,” I grabbed Liam’s hand and dragged him towards the dressing room without even bothering to look up at Liam. Now’s really not the time to add something in my thoughts that would only torture myself.

I flung the door open to the guys’ dressing room and I could’ve sworn I almost fell off my balance as my eyes took a good look on what was going on in the room. Numerous of Chinese take-outs boxes were scattered all over the place, red plastic cups were found in every corner of the room, God knows what was inside it, and I really didn’t want to find out either. But from all the things that was happening, the one thing that really caught my eyes was the fact that all four boys were only in their underpants, each every one of them – well, except for that sleeping guy who still had his t-shirt on – while they continued doing their own business without even bothering to acknowledge our presence.

I took a glance at Liam, whose face was nowhere near surprised. I guess he’s gotten quite used to seeing the guys naked, but for me – even though I’ve been living with these five monstrous creatures for the last couple of months – it was still a bizarre thing to look at.

“Arses,” I heard Liam whispered as he shook his head, “Do your thing, Hannah.”

I only nodded as he left me standing alone by the door, with all those stuff still in my hand. The only thing that I really wanted to do was scream to everyone’s ears that I was sick of everything, especially that particular black haired boy that was lying motionless on the couch.

“Hannah!”

I jumped as the voice that suddenly filled my ear holes, taking me off guard as my body collided with another figure and I almost lost my balance.

“Louis, for God’s sake!” I screamed, my face was pressed against his bare chest as he squeezed me for dear life. I really had no idea what the hell was going on in his head.

“Where have you been, my darling?” he asked, his tone was obviously teasing me.

“Nowhere that would concern you,” I managed to say, “Now, get off me!” I tried to slip away from his grip, which would only made him tightened his arms around me.

“Ow!” Louis cried out as I smacked him in the stomach, “Rude!”

I only rolled my eyes at him and stormed off to the hang all of the clothes in my hand, but of course, this one guy right here wouldn’t give up that easily. Louis tagged along my back as I tried to get on with my job. I had no idea why he had such an evil mind for keeping me to do my work done.

“Will you go get ready?” I asked, turning to him.

“I don’t have my clothes on!” Louis casually answered.

I groaned in frustration as I tossed him the new outfit; a pair of navy blue trousers, a fitted white button down shirt and a suspender, just to add that little ‘Louis’ style to the look. Now I really didn’t have to help him with the fitting because I knew in a heartbeat they would fit Louis fine.

“Harry!” I shouted as my eyes landed on Harry, who was sitting crossed-legged on the couch as he chewed down his noodle.

“What?” He said as he left his mouth open.

I threw him his new set of clothes mindlessly, almost landing on his dinner as Niall caught it first before it was plastered with Chinese food stains. I didn’t have time to thank Niall as I turned to Liam, who was already too, shirtless.

“Will this fit you?” I asked as I offered him the clothes.

“They should be fine,” he said, “Will you just relax for a moment, sweetheart?”

Something about Liam and his ability to make everything better, because in that second a wash of calmness flooded through my system as I took a breather.

“Breathe, Hannah,” Liam chuckled, ruffling my hair as he went on to change.

I only sighed for the nth time today as I continued on with Niall, who refused to wear all of the clothes except for his dear old polo shirt that he loved so much. After a five minute of bickering I finally gave up and only gave him a new pair of Nike sneakers that he gladly took.

“You should wake him, you know,” Harry said as I was helping him with his shirt. I glanced at the unconscious boy on the couch; he didn’t move an inch since I got here, I guessed he has been having some sleepless nights just like I did.

“Will you do that for me?” I looked up to Harry, pouting. He only ruffled my hair again just like Liam did which was starting to annoy me.

“No,” Harry said. “Sorry, Adler,” he walked towards the door after I finished buttoning his shirt, calling Louis, Niall and Liam to go outside with him to look for Paul.

“Stay here with Zayn, will you?” Louis said as he sent a wink in my way before he shut the door, leaving me with the unconscious boy in front of me. The other guys seemed so eager for the two of us to fix things, but the only thing that I wanted as to storm off the room and never go back again.

My heart sank as my eyes landed on my watch; we only have a half hour to go before show time. My feet automatically dragged me towards Zayn, who was still lying there motionless.

I watched him as he slept peacefully on the couch, using Harry’s duffel bag as the function for his pillow. The last thing I wanted was to wake him up, he looked so peaceful in his sleep, and I even almost kissed him for looking too adorable. Thank God I knew how the situation we were in.

“Zayn,” I slightly nudged his shoulder, “Zayn, wake up.”

He didn’t even flinch as I kept on nudging him on the shoulder, “You need to wake up.”

Still, he made no move as seconds passed. “Zayn, wake up, it’s almost show time.”

I felt him as his hand moved and gripped my hand, which caught me off guard as I stared at his fingers around my wrist.

“Hannah?” He croaked out, his voice was still full of sleepiness.

“Yeah.”

“What are you doing here?” he asked, rubbing his eyes with his other hand.

“You’re – you’re supposed to get ready for the show,” I tried to answer, “The boys are already outside.”

Zayn got up slowly from the couch, his hair was all messy from sleeping, which I adored so much. I have been fighting the urge to run my hand through it, just for the sake of tousling it up again, just like the old times.

“Here,” I said, offering him his set of new clothes, “You should change.”

“Thanks,” he said, grabbing them from me. I watched him as he slowly slipped his t-shirt off; but then I realized that it would be pretty weird if he caught me watching him, especially there were only the two of us in the room. I’ve prepared him a new button-down white shirt and a black and white varsity jacket for giving a touch of Zayn’s signature style that I always loved.

I pretended to be busy as I occupied myself fixing the make up table because Louis and Niall has decided to leave their delivery take outs all over the place. I was starting to regret that I told Louis and Harry about everything, but then I also knew that those two wouldn’t stop at nothing. And to make things worse, they were all had a pretty absurd way of thinking that Zayn and I could fix things between us.

I caught the sight of him trying to fix his hair, just in time that I realized that I was supposed to do that for him, I immediately grabbed the hairspray from the make up table and walked towards the boy.

“Let me do that for you,” I said, Zayn‘s head turned towards me as I spoke. Making my heart to skip a beat at the sight of him, he was already wearing his new set of clothes that I’ve picked out. Even though it was only a casual style that he usually wore, but something about him that made every piece of clothing looked more appealing on him. And I hated him for doing it. I hated him for making me feel like this.

I carefully ran a hand through his hair as I tried to give a little bit of hairspray to it. I noticed that it was already quite long and messy since the last time I gave him a proper hair cut.

“Your hair grows awfully fast,” I mumbled, Zayn was sitting on the make up table now so I would be able to reach his hair, blame my height compared to his though, I was starting to think maybe I need to wear high-heeled shoes more often.

I felt his eyes fixed on me. “Does it?”

“Yeah,” I muttered, looking at him. A smile was already plastered on his lips.

“Maybe you should give me a hair cut again then,” he said casually.

“Maybe.”

“Just maybe?” he raised his eyebrows. If only he knew how uncomfortable he could make me. Saying things like that as if everything’s normal. It’s been weeks since that date we had with Harry and Vicky, that time we had that conversation that nearly killed me. It’s been weeks since the last time I felt my body pressed against his. If only he knew how those weeks affected me so much.

“What do you want me to say then? A yes?” I asked, putting down the hair product beside him.

“A definite yes, maybe?” he shrugged.

“Maybe,” I only smiled and shook my head at him, oh how I badly miss this boy, even though it’s only a couple of weeks, but those days felt so dull and dreary without him being around me.

“You should get ready with the boys,” I said, while part of me was screaming for him to stay.

“Yeah,” He muttered, Zayn got up from his spot and took a glance at himself on the mirror. I smiled inside knowing this boy right here couldn’t live without one.

“Good luck,” I said, and a hug, maybe?

“Thanks,” he smiled, he was already in his way towards the door when he stopped. He turned to me as his eyes showing a flash of confusion, as if he had so many things he wanted to say. I held my breath as I waited him to speak.

“Hannah, I—“

“Zayn! Why on earth are you still doing here?” Sam’s voice suddenly roared inside the room, filling in the silence before Zayn even got the chance to speak. Our eyes turned to Sam, who was still lingering quite impatiently at the door.

“Come on now, boy! Chop-chop,” he said, “The show starts in ten.”

“Give me a second,“ Zayn said.

“You don’t have the time, kid,” Sam said, “let’s go.”

“Just wait—“

“We haven’t got all day, Zayn,” Sam insisted, he really didn’t know how badly I wanted to punch his face.

Zayn’s head snapped back at me, he only shot me an apologetic look before he sighed and headed outside, leaving me alone, not even letting out a single word.

--

“I hate to say I told you so,”

“Liam, please—“

“I just don’t want to see you get hurt,”

It’s too late for that now, I thought. Staying with Liam after the show appeared to be the worst decision I’ve ever made. Being the good friend he was, Liam decided to stay with me when I excused myself to go back straight to the hotel, while the other four boys were having fun, doing God knows what at God knows where.

Go figure, I should’ve known hanging around with Liam would only lead him to ask questions that I’ve been trying to avoid.

“How did you even know about this? I don’t remember telling you anything,” I asked as I was lazily wrapping myself inside the cover of Liam’s bed.

“Do you know how bad Louis is in keeping secrets?” Liam said as he slipped off his shirt and tossed it aside.

“Wait, he told you?” I exclaimed, I really couldn’t believe that boy, “Ugh, that arse!” I groaned in annoyance as I fell back on the bed, rubbing off the tiredness from my eyes.

“He spilled everything once we were outside the dressing room,” he chuckled, “Not even wasting a second.”

“Now everyone knows?” I said after a short pause.

“Pretty much,” Liam replied, I felt the other side of the bed sunk and saw him already covered in his favorite jumper.

“Remind me to never say anything to Lou again,” I mumbled as I buried my face in those gigantic pillows.

Liam only chuckled as we fell to a comfortable silence, letting myself to drift off with my own thoughts. The image of Zayn in the dressing room kept repeating inside my head, no matter how hard I tried to make it stop, it seemed that it always found its way back to my mind again, haunting me with the words he was yet to speak.

My mind wandered when the guys finished the show, I only lingered at the side of the stage the whole time. Watching the five of them working on their charms as they sang out the lyrics of the song, the earsplitting screams of the fans filled the whole stadium as the guys bowed down for the last time at the end of the show. I spotted a bunch of girls were actually crying that they weren’t able to see their idols anymore, but what they didn’t know the group was actually ecstatic that they got to have a couple of weeks off in the city.

I gave everyone a high-five, saying congratulations for the successful show as I spotted Zayn talking with Paul, he caught my eyes on his and he immediately excused himself.

“Hey.” He said when he reached me.

“Hi,” I said, a smile automatically formed on my lips. “Great show.”

“Thanks,” he said again, his eyes were still fixed on me as he kept his mouth shut. My heart was slamming off my chest as we stayed in our sport in silence, waiting for either one of us to say something.

“Zayn, there you are, mate!”

But of course, it was always someone else’s chance to speak.

I heard Zayn sighed as he spotted Niall approaching us with the most ear-to-ear grin plastered on his face. “What is it, Niall?”

“Do you have the number to that place we went two days ago?” Niall asked.

“I’m not sure,” Zayn said, I turned my eyes away from the two of them and landed on Liam who also had his gaze on me.

“I thought you saved it on your phone?”

“I don’t remember saving it, man.”

I heard the two carried on with their conversation as I watched Liam headed towards us.

“Do you want to go?” he asked.

“To that place they’re talking about?” I asked, “I don’t think so, I’m awfully tired.”

“Good, shall we head back now?”

“Wait, you’re not coming?”

“I’m awfully tired,” he said, mocking me with a tone as same as mine. I only rolled my eyes at him as he grabbed my wrist, dragging me away from Zayn.

I caught Zayn’s eyes were on me as Niall kept talking to him. I only gave him a slight shrug in confusion as I let Liam pulling me towards the exit and pushed me inside the car that would lead us back to the hotel. I guessed God really didn’t let Zayn and I to speak to each other tonight.

“I gotta ask you this though,” Liam suddenly said, cutting me off from my thoughts. Now I was suddenly back inside Liam’s room again.

“What?” The cushions on my face muffled my voice.

“Do you really think you have a chance with Zayn?”

I couldn’t help but to look up at Liam, who still had his eyes fixed on the television, but his mind seemed to wander off somewhere else. I really didn’t know how to respond to that.

“I don’t know,” I finally said, from all those words I could say, I came up with that three words that I used to hate so much. “It’s complicated.”

“What’s complicated?”

Zayn is. “Everything,” I said.

“You make everything complicated,” Liam stated.

“Well, you can’t call it life if it’s easy,” I snapped back. Hiding my face again in the pillows.

“You and your choice of words,” I heard Liam sighed, “You terribly remind me of Zayn sometimes.”

“Why is that?”

“Your ability to relate everything with life,” He said, “Just close your eyes and enjoy the roller coaster that is life.”

That sentence was awfully familiar when Liam spoke out the words. I felt like I’ve read it somewhere before. “Is that Zayn’s bio on twitter?”

“Yes,” Liam responded, chuckling. “Don’t tell anyone I know that.”

“My lips are sealed.”

“But do you like him?” Liam asked again. I could feel his stare was on me now.

Oh, Liam. You have no idea. “I don’t kno—“

“Don’t give me that crap!”

“What do you want me to say then?” I exclaimed.

“The truth, Hannah.”

I sighed as I forced myself to sit up straight, still feeling Liam’s intense gaze at me. Now I really didn’t feel like talking about any of this, but knowing Liam Payne, I really didn’t have much of a choice.

“Maybe,” I mumbled.

“Maybe?”

“Maybe yes, maybe no…” I glanced at Liam, whose eyes were closed.

“Hannah.”

“What?”

Liam’s eyes fluttered open and fixed his brown ones at me, looking like he had enough of my attitude. I only let out a sigh and leaned back to the bed.

“You really have no idea,” I croaked. Burying my face in my hand.

“That much?” he asked.

I only nodded as a response since I didn’t know what else to say to satisfy Liam for his question. I suddenly felt a hand wrapped around my shoulder and pulled me to him. I rested my head on his chest as he kept the warmth on my body with his arm.

“I just don’t get him, you know,” I said in a low voice.

“You won’t be the first one,” Liam said, “We all don’t.”

“I just thought, we had – something, just, something,” I tried to think of the word that would fit the two of us, but it seemed that I couldn’t place a right term for it. I didn’t even know what we were.

“Well, whatever you two have – or had,” Liam said, “It’s his loss.”

“Why is that?”

“He still hasn’t realize how lucky he is to have you,” he said again, “You really are great, Hannah.”

“You think I’m great?”

“Yes,” Liam shrugged, “As a person, that is. Any guy would be lucky to have you.”

“I’m flattered, Mr. Payne,” I laughed, “But I’m not sure I’m interested.”

“I’m not trying to hit on you,” Liam responded, I could tell he was rolling his eyes from the tone of his voice.

“I know that.” I chuckled, “But thanks, that’s a really nice thing to hear from someone.”

“Hey, I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t be the only one who’d say that,” he said as he planted a kiss on my forehead. “You really are great.”

“Thanks, Liam. You’re not so bad yourself,” I said.

Liam only smiled at me and ruffled my hair. Now I was glad I stayed with him after all, at least I knew there was still someone who would spend his or her time with me when I refused to mingle with everyone. I was really thankful that I had Liam in my life. I really had no idea what I would do without him.