Holding Down the Laughter

Josh really was cute. Whether it was his gorgeous eyes, muscles, or just his personality, I don’t know. But I do know that something about him really stood out. And the more I think about it, I kind of want to figure out what it is.

I was brought out of my thoughts by a phone ringing above my head. When I picked it up and noticed it was mine, I was actually confused. The only people who I talk to are asleep in this room right now, so who could it be?

I made sure to turn the brightness all the way down before going into my messages. The new message was from an unfamiliar number, but I clicked on it anyways.

Hey, this is Josh.

The four words brought a smile to my face and I quickly answered,
Hey (: What are you doing up so late?

A reply came almost instantly.
From Josh:
I couldn’t really fall asleep. Sorry if I woke you up.

Our conversation continued on, even though it was about four in the morning. Each text from Josh made me smile wider and wider. This behavior is completely out of the norm for me, but I kind of like it. Instead of feeling like a fuck up, I feel like I actually kind of matter because someone wants to talk to me.

Sleep didn’t look like it was going to be coming to me anytime soon, so I climbed over a sleeping Riley and out of bed. Once I slipped on Sebastian’s sweatshirt, I walked down to my room, still texting Josh. When I was in my room, I kept the sweatshirt on and slid on a pair of skinny jeans and a pair of TOMS.

I made sure I grabbed my cigarettes, a lighter, and keys before walking out of the room again. My phone vibrated in my hand once more, immediately making me smile.

From Josh:
It’s way too late to fall asleep now, so stay up and talk to me. :)

Okay (: but I’m really hungry and lonely. Let’s go to Waffle House or something.

I sat down outside UC and lit a cigarette. After about a minute, Josh had texted me back.

From Josh:
You go to Union, right? Be outside cause I’m on the way.

I sent back a quick see you in a few minutes and set my phone on the ground next to me. With my knees drawn to my chest and a cigarette in my hand, I looked like a real basket case. I had my hair tied back, no make up on, and looked like shit.

Ew, and I’m about to get food with a really cute boy. I did not think this one through.

Before I had time to run inside and change anything, Josh pulled up in a big Ford F150. He got out of the car and walked to where I was sitting and sat next to me.

“Hey there gorgeous.” He said, smiling brightly at me. I blushed slightly and took one last drag of my cigarette before dropping it to the ground and stepping on it.

“Hi handsome. Ready to go?” Josh just nodded and stood up, putting his hand out to help me up. He walked around to the other side of the truck, still holding my hand, and opened the door for me. Josh had to lift me up slightly to help me get in the truck, considering how big it was and how short I am.

We didn’t talk much at first, just listened to the words of Drake as we rode in silence. I couldn’t help but nod my head with the beat. Josh began smiling all of a sudden, occasionally glancing at me.

“Why are you smiling like that, weirdo?” I asked, half joking and half serious. Josh just kept smiling and focused on the road.

“You’re just really cute, I can’t help it.” Josh finally said, looking over at me at a red light. I could immediately feel my face catch on fire as a blush spread across it. This just made Josh laugh, though, and that made my face turn an even darker shade of red.

“Ew, don’t lie to me. I look like crap.”

Josh just shook his head and drove off when the light turned green. “Well I think you look beautiful. Even with the ten hickeys you have on your neck, you look beautiful.”I groaned and brought my hands up to my neck. I completely forgot what Riley had done to my neck so I never covered it up. “Does your boyfriend know you just left campus at 4:30 in the morning to hang out with some guy you just met?”

“Please don’t think I’m a whore, but I don’t have a boyfriend.” What. Where did that come from, because it certainly wasn’t me. I don’t care if people think I’m a whore, because I am. I like sex. A lot.

“Don’t worry, I wouldn’t be able to think that.”

The older boy helped me out of his truck when we arrived at our destination and opened the door for me. He was such a gentleman.

We decided to sit in the furthest corner of the small diner, so you really wouldn’t be able to see us from the door. The waiter was asking for our drink order as soon as we sat down. Josh ordered a regular Coke and I ordered a glass of chocolate milk.

“So tell me about your friends. Are you guys really close?” Josh said, stilling smiling at me,

“They’re my best friends. Seriously, they know me so much better than anyone else because we’re all constantly together. Even over holidays, we try to hang out as much as possible. Sebastian was my first friend, ever. We met in sixth grade, I think, and we’ve been inseperable ever since. He was my first kiss and then we decided that it was just too weird so we stuck with best friends. Then there’s Kat, or Katsuma. He’s like that older brother that every girl secretly wants, but then times better. He’s a better parent to me then the ones who created me. And then there’s Riley, but we’re too complicated to explain.”

“You know a smile never left your face the entire time you were talking about them. I knew you seemed like a good friend. But why is Riley complicated? Did you guys date or what?” Josh asked, sounding genuinely curious. I’ve never had a guy who isn’t one of my best friends and cares what I have to say.

“We haven’t really dated, but we always act like we do I guess. We’re always hugging and kissing and doing coupley things, but he’s never asked me out. I mean, the boy has had sex with me but he can’t ask me on a date. There’s no logic there.”

“You never know, he may not want to mess up your friendship. Or maybe, he was waiting for some really cool guy with a nice truck come around and sweep you off your feet and give you all that you deserve in life.” Josh smiled and winked his right eye at me. I couldn’t help but blush and put my head down slightly.

Josh and I continued talking over waffles and hashbrowns until the sun rose. At about 9 in the morning, we decided to finally leave the restaurant. After five hours and four orders of hashbrowns each, we were wiped out.

Ignoring my protests, Josh paid the entire bill and wouldn’t even let me leave a tip. He held my hand out of the restaurant, and helped me into his truck once more.

Once he started driving, he reached over and held my hand in his once more. A smile was permanently etched on my face as we sang along to the radio. It was only when we pulled up to Union Creek that my smile began to fade.

The older boy helped me from the car, and didn’t let go of my hand until we were in front of my dorm room. I got out my keys, unlocked the door, and brought Josh inside with me.