How It All Should Have Gone

“Alright guys. It's Rachel and Jesse's turn.” Mr. Shuester announces. I get up and walk to the front of the room. Jesse stays in his seat. I swallow hard then start.

There's a fire starting in my heart
Reaching a fever pitch, it's bringing me out the dark

Jesse starts from his seat and I wait.

Finally I can see you crystal clear
Go 'head and sell me out and I'll lay your ship [shit] bare
See how I leave with every piece of you
Don't underestimate the things that I will do

There's a fire starting in my heart
Reaching a fever pitch
And it's bringing me out the dark

The scars of your love remind me of us
They keep me thinking that we almost had it all
The scars of your love, they leave me breathless
I can't help feeling

I start up with him.

We could have had it all
(You're gonna wish you never had met me)
Rolling in the deep
(Tears are gonna fall, rolling in the deep)
You had my heart inside of your hand
(You're gonna wish you never had met me)
And you played it, to the beat
(Tears are gonna fall, rolling in the deep)

Jesse's quiet and I continue.

Baby, I have no story to be told
But I've heard one on you
And I'm gonna make your head burn
Think of me in the depths of your despair
Make a home down there
As mine sure won't be shared

I stop and Jesse takes over.

(You're gonna wish you never had met me)
The scars of your love remind me of us
(Tears are gonna fall, rolling in the deep)
They keep me thinking that we almost had it all
(You're gonna wish you never had met me)
The scars of your love, they leave me breathless
(Tears are gonna fall, rolling in the deep)
I can't help feeling

Both of us.

We could have had it all
(You're gonna wish you never had met me)
Rolling in the deep
(Tears are gonna fall, rolling in the deep)
You had my heart inside of your hand
(You're gonna wish you never had met me)
And you played it, to the beat
(Tears are gonna fall, rolling in the deep)
We could have had it all
Rolling in the deep
You had my heart inside of your hand

Jesse belts it.

But you played it, with a beating
Throw your soul through every open door (woah)

I take over quickly.

Count your blessings to find what you look for (woah)

Jesse takes over again.

Turn my sorrow into treasured gold (woah)

My turn.

You'll pay me back in kind and reap just what you sow (woah)

We both start up together.

(You're gonna wish you never had met me)
We could have had it all
(Tears are gonna fall, rolling in the deep)
We could have had it all
(You're gonna wish you never had met me)
It all, it all, it all
(Tears are gonna fall, rolling in the deep)

But you played it
You played it
You played it
You played it to the beat.

When we're done I notice I'm crying and I quickly wipe away my tears and take my seat. The other kids clap and cheer.
“Wow, say hello to your duet regionals.” Mr. Shuester smiles.
“I can't Mr. Shue. I actually won't. Not at regionals.” I tell him. I can hear Jesse sigh.
“Why?” Mr. Shue is astonished.
“Because I said no. Let Santana be his partner for any competitions we do.” I tell him and the bell rings. I walk out and get into my car. The memory from last years regional competition crashes down on me. I could almost see him on that regionals stage again. Telling me through his song choices that I didn't matter to him anymore, not at all. Making me feel like I never did. I couldn't go through that again. I couldn't sing with him at the place were everything came crashing down around me