Warped Tour Romantics
John.
It's been 2 weeks of Warped and I'd seen Kellin every day, our bands had become fast friends. The first few weeks of Warped were always the best, seeing new and old friends and our set had not become ritualistic and boring yet.
Interview, signing, Sleeping with Sirens, stage. Those were my must attends today, Kellin had promised me new songs today, his music is something that I wouldn't normally listen to, but it had grown on me. So sue me, I wanted to see Kellin again. The signing was fun, we got some really cute gifts and the fans are always encouraging. Afterwards I head back to the bus to change into tonight’s outfit before heading towards the stage where Sleeping with Sirens are playing. I plant myself upon a road box, light a cigarette and watch Kellin from my spot. This boy sure does know how to command an audience. Sleeping with Sirens walk off the stage and Kellin stops in front of me.
"You killed it." I tell him and he smiles.
"Thanks for coming and watching, I guess i'll have to return the favour." I laugh, nodding.
"Well, i'm heading there now."
"I'll walk with you, a shower can wait." Kellin follows me out of back stage and we head over to the stage where I’ll be playing.
"So, are you starting to feel better?" I enquired and he simply shrugs.
"I dunno I guess so, it’s a lot to get my head around. I'd finally got to a place of accepting my sexuality, and now this." Kellin says and I have to feel sorry for the older boy.
"How are things with Katelynne?" I ask making Kellin screw his face up.
“I feel like she manipulated me, she caught me when I was down, she knows me so well." I can’t help but notice Kellin looks sad, i really want to give him a hug but I refrain.
"I don't regret the fact I'm going to be a father, I could never regret that, I've always seen myself being a father.” Kellin continues to tell me. “I just wish I wasn't bound to Katelynne for the rest of my life." He says with a sigh.
“Well, at least you’re going to be a dad Kellin, some people want that their whole lives and never get it. There is a positive in this situation.” I says after a minute, smiling.
"This is true. Now John, you have gotta have some baggage you wanna share with me." Kellin says with a laugh.
"Not in this lifetime Quinn, not in this lifetime." We arrive at the stage and I introduce Kellin to the rest of the band as they walk past.
I keep checking to make sure Kellin is still there, still watching while we play our set, he's become a familiar side of stage sight I have decided that there is something I like about having Kellin watch.The rest of Sleeping With Sirens turn up to watch our set too. We close our set with Girls Do What They Want and head off stage, greeted by Sleeping with Sirens and friends, it's decided we will head out for a few beers.
"Cigarette time." I mutter, standing up and walking out of the bar, it takes me a moment to notice Kellin has followed me. We don't say anything, our back against the wall, facing forward, not looking at each other. I put the cigarette in my mouth and light it.
"That's going to kill you one day."
"And when all is said and done, no one will give a fuck." I tell him, exhaling.
"What's your story?" He asks me. He asks me some variation of that question every day. I sigh, turning to face him.
"You really wanna know? Sometimes I feel on top of the world, and sometimes I feel like I'm on the edge of losing it all. I doubt myself more than anyone will never know, I haven't been in a relationship in 4 years, I get to have sex everyday if I please, but I know the sex is just covering a secret even my own band mates don't know about." I say, frustrated that I told him that.
"What secret, John?" He asks.
"Fucking hell Kellin, leave it." I raise my voice at him. I can tell he is taken aback by the harshness of my words. He turns to walk back into the bar, I reach out and grab his wrist.
"I'm sorry Kellin, its just–" I sigh. "Walk back to the buses with me?" He nods and we both pull out our phones to tell our friends we're leaving.
"I'm sorry if I was too pushy, John." Kellin finally speaks.
"It's ok, I guess talking about it makes it real which means I can't avoid it any more."
"You know you can talk to me John, all you have done for the last 2 weeks is listen to me." He says and it's true. I don't say anything for a while, we walk in silence, a comfortable, nice silence.
"I guess– I guess I don't really know the meaning of the word straight, and it baffles me a little." Kellin wears a look of confusion. I sigh, knowing my answer won't suffice.
"I look at girls, and yeah, they are hot and good for sex. I look at a guy, not all guys, but every once in a while a guy will come along and he plays on my mind like crazy, I daydream a life with them, and its something I've never really thought about with a girl." I explain. Kellin doesn't speak, I can tell he's thinking.
"You know John, I did the girl thing, and then finally realised how much I was lying to myself, and being out and being honest makes me a better person and happier person." We stop walking as we reach my bus.
"Yeah well maybe I'm just not as brave as you." I say to him and he sighs.
"Thats not what I meant and you know it, John."
"I know, I'm sorry Kellin, its weird talking about it, you are the only person I've told." He smiles, its a smile I have grown very fond of.
"Thank you, Kellin." I say, hugging him.
"Its ok John, thats what friends are for." He says hugging back.
"Goodnight, John."
"Goodnight, Kellin." He turns and walks towards his bus, and I can't help but thank the stars for bringing me Kellin Quinn.
Interview, signing, Sleeping with Sirens, stage. Those were my must attends today, Kellin had promised me new songs today, his music is something that I wouldn't normally listen to, but it had grown on me. So sue me, I wanted to see Kellin again. The signing was fun, we got some really cute gifts and the fans are always encouraging. Afterwards I head back to the bus to change into tonight’s outfit before heading towards the stage where Sleeping with Sirens are playing. I plant myself upon a road box, light a cigarette and watch Kellin from my spot. This boy sure does know how to command an audience. Sleeping with Sirens walk off the stage and Kellin stops in front of me.
"You killed it." I tell him and he smiles.
"Thanks for coming and watching, I guess i'll have to return the favour." I laugh, nodding.
"Well, i'm heading there now."
"I'll walk with you, a shower can wait." Kellin follows me out of back stage and we head over to the stage where I’ll be playing.
"So, are you starting to feel better?" I enquired and he simply shrugs.
"I dunno I guess so, it’s a lot to get my head around. I'd finally got to a place of accepting my sexuality, and now this." Kellin says and I have to feel sorry for the older boy.
"How are things with Katelynne?" I ask making Kellin screw his face up.
“I feel like she manipulated me, she caught me when I was down, she knows me so well." I can’t help but notice Kellin looks sad, i really want to give him a hug but I refrain.
"I don't regret the fact I'm going to be a father, I could never regret that, I've always seen myself being a father.” Kellin continues to tell me. “I just wish I wasn't bound to Katelynne for the rest of my life." He says with a sigh.
“Well, at least you’re going to be a dad Kellin, some people want that their whole lives and never get it. There is a positive in this situation.” I says after a minute, smiling.
"This is true. Now John, you have gotta have some baggage you wanna share with me." Kellin says with a laugh.
"Not in this lifetime Quinn, not in this lifetime." We arrive at the stage and I introduce Kellin to the rest of the band as they walk past.
I keep checking to make sure Kellin is still there, still watching while we play our set, he's become a familiar side of stage sight I have decided that there is something I like about having Kellin watch.The rest of Sleeping With Sirens turn up to watch our set too. We close our set with Girls Do What They Want and head off stage, greeted by Sleeping with Sirens and friends, it's decided we will head out for a few beers.
"Cigarette time." I mutter, standing up and walking out of the bar, it takes me a moment to notice Kellin has followed me. We don't say anything, our back against the wall, facing forward, not looking at each other. I put the cigarette in my mouth and light it.
"That's going to kill you one day."
"And when all is said and done, no one will give a fuck." I tell him, exhaling.
"What's your story?" He asks me. He asks me some variation of that question every day. I sigh, turning to face him.
"You really wanna know? Sometimes I feel on top of the world, and sometimes I feel like I'm on the edge of losing it all. I doubt myself more than anyone will never know, I haven't been in a relationship in 4 years, I get to have sex everyday if I please, but I know the sex is just covering a secret even my own band mates don't know about." I say, frustrated that I told him that.
"What secret, John?" He asks.
"Fucking hell Kellin, leave it." I raise my voice at him. I can tell he is taken aback by the harshness of my words. He turns to walk back into the bar, I reach out and grab his wrist.
"I'm sorry Kellin, its just–" I sigh. "Walk back to the buses with me?" He nods and we both pull out our phones to tell our friends we're leaving.
"I'm sorry if I was too pushy, John." Kellin finally speaks.
"It's ok, I guess talking about it makes it real which means I can't avoid it any more."
"You know you can talk to me John, all you have done for the last 2 weeks is listen to me." He says and it's true. I don't say anything for a while, we walk in silence, a comfortable, nice silence.
"I guess– I guess I don't really know the meaning of the word straight, and it baffles me a little." Kellin wears a look of confusion. I sigh, knowing my answer won't suffice.
"I look at girls, and yeah, they are hot and good for sex. I look at a guy, not all guys, but every once in a while a guy will come along and he plays on my mind like crazy, I daydream a life with them, and its something I've never really thought about with a girl." I explain. Kellin doesn't speak, I can tell he's thinking.
"You know John, I did the girl thing, and then finally realised how much I was lying to myself, and being out and being honest makes me a better person and happier person." We stop walking as we reach my bus.
"Yeah well maybe I'm just not as brave as you." I say to him and he sighs.
"Thats not what I meant and you know it, John."
"I know, I'm sorry Kellin, its weird talking about it, you are the only person I've told." He smiles, its a smile I have grown very fond of.
"Thank you, Kellin." I say, hugging him.
"Its ok John, thats what friends are for." He says hugging back.
"Goodnight, John."
"Goodnight, Kellin." He turns and walks towards his bus, and I can't help but thank the stars for bringing me Kellin Quinn.