All or Nothing

“Are you sure you can’t come in?”

“I’m sure.”

“I miss you so fucking much.”

“I miss you, too, baby,” Eliza whispered into the phone.

Eliza was rushing around her room, throwing on clothes, making sure her hair and make-up were perfect, all without tipping Brian off as to what she was doing.

Brian and the band were taking a break from the tour because Matt had a case of vocal fatigue and his doctor had told them they needed to let him rest it or he could do serious damage. They were currently in Los Angeles filming the music video for “Afterlife” which didn’t require Matt to sing at all. She was planning on showing up at the shoot and surprising Brian.

She was supposed to be in New York writing songs, but she’d told them she was going to take a break. It had been over two months since she’d seen Brian and she missed him horribly. She’d called Val and Katie, telling them of her plan, and they were waiting for her downstairs. She and Brian talked every single day, and they even video chatted over the internet at times, but there was nothing like seeing him in person. She was starting to get anxious, ready to be in front of him.

“When do you think you’ll be able to come back in?” she heard him ask from the other end. He sounded so sad and dejected.

“Hopefully within the next couple of weeks,” she said, taking one last look at herself. “Jocelyn wants us to write a few more songs before we really get into the studio. I’m doing an acoustic version of ‘Without You’, along with the regular version and ‘Can’t Forget You’, but she wants us to have a few more things down.”

“Who is ‘we’?” Brian asked, suddenly getting louder.

“That’s the other thing I need to talk to you about. They want me to get some people together to get a band. Hunter’s going to be my guitarist, but I need a bassist and drummer.”

“You didn’t say anything about a band before.”

“I know I didn’t, but that was because I didn’t know I should. Jocelyn’s right, though. I don’t want to become one of those pop girls who sing with music playing through speakers. I want to have my music played live right there in front of people.”

“That makes sense. I just don’t trust that kid, though.”

“Who, Hunter?”

“Yeah. You need to make sure he keeps looking and doesn’t fucking touch or I’ll kick his scrawny fucking ass.”

She laughed. “Brian, you don’t need to worry about him. I’ve only got eyes for you.”

“That’s right, princess, you better.”

“Speaking of princess,” Eliza started. “I got a call from Revolver yesterday. They want to do a photoset and interview of us.”

“Seriously? Wait, how did you get that from ‘princess’?”

“Yep, they want to interview us about what it’s like to be in a rock and roll relationship. They’re calling us the ‘Prince and Princess of Rock’, actually.”

“That sounds lame.”

“The photo shoot or the nicknames?”

“The photo shoot, princess. I like our nicknames.”

“Brian, it means you get to spend time with me.”

“I’m in.”

She laughed again. “I figured you would be. Look, I’ve got to go now. I’ve got a meeting with Jocelyn in ten minutes, and you know I need my coffee fix.”

“Alright, baby. I’ve got to go anyway; we’re about to head out there.”

“I love you, Brian.”

“Love you, too, baby,” Brian said and Eliza hung up the phone.

She grabbed her bag and jogged down the steps.

“It’s about fucking time!” Katie said, standing up from the couch.

“Let me just grab some coffee and we can go.”

“Why can’t we just swing by Starbucks like normal people?” Katie asked.

“Fine, let’s go to Starbucks,” Eliza said, rolling her eyes.

She walked around to make sure the backdoors were locked.

A lot had changed since she and Brian moved in together. Most of the pictures that had lined the wall were now of her and Brian, or of them and the band or friends. The picture of her father and mother was still over the fireplace, and they’d even put up some of the two of them and Brian’s father and step-mom. They’d gotten rid of the green chair, but other than that, the furniture had remained the same. At Eliza’s request, they kept her father’s study exactly how it was, but they’d turned her bedroom into their own music room. Their bedroom had been transformed to meet their needs.

The one thing that remained constant, no matter what, was whenever they were together at the house, they always went out to the beach to sit and talk or play music at night. That would never change.

She followed Katie and Val outside and locked the door. They piled into Val’s SUV and made their way down the road to the highway. It felt good to be back in California with her friends. When she was in New York, she never had as much fun. Sure, she laughed and she smiled, and she loved making music, but there was something about being in the passenger seat with the windows rolled down, her sunglasses on, feet hanging out the window, and singing along to the radio with Katie and Val that made her feel complete.

An hour later, they were pulling into the lot. Once they were past security, they parked and walked toward the huge warehouse. It had been transformed into a music set, and the first thing Eliza heard was music blasting loudly throughout the building. She smiled as she saw the guys from far away. She hung back, watching Val and Katie go towards the gathering of workers and the band.

They were all dressed in black; Matt had on his signature sunglasses, bandana and backwards hat and Zacky was wearing a plaid shirt with his hair slicked back. Johnny’s hair was bleached blond and he was wearing a tight fitting gray shirt. Her little shit had grown up and she chuckled. Jimmy was behind the drum set with a sleeveless black button-up shirt and a red tie. His hair was the same as ever and she saw his face scrunch up while playing.

Her eyes fell on Brian and her heart stopped beating for a few seconds before speeding up, and she felt a tingle go down between her legs. She bit her lip as she looked him up and down. His black t-shirt had the sleeves ripped off and his arms bulged as he moved his guitar around. His hair was tucked under the bandana and Fedora hat that she’d finally given back to him. Diamonds were in his ears and his silver chains were around his neck. She even noticed he’d put his nose ring in. She cocked her head to the side and watched him move around with the guys, interacting.

After a few minutes, Wayne, the director called cut, and they stopped. The guys gathered around the camera screen to watch what they’d just done.

“Great job guys, now let’s switch back to do the black set,” Wayne yelled and the guys unstrapped their instruments and moved around to a different part of the set.

She watched as some guys started ripping down the white sheets that were hanging behind the set. She turned her attention to Brian who had unstrapped his guitar and was laughing with Johnny. His eyes wandered around the set and suddenly they stopped. The water bottle he’d been lifting to his mouth paused half-way up to his mouth.

Brian had never seen something more beautiful. Eliza was standing behind the cameras, her hot pink and black hair straight down either side of her face. Her aviator sunglasses were resting on top of her head and her hands were on her hips. From his position, he could see all of her piercings were in place, down to the tank top she was wearing with the skull on it. She’d added a few new bracelets to her left arm, but on her right, the one he’d given her was still there. Her shorts were almost too short, but that’s how he liked it. He followed her long, tan legs down to her flip flops and then back up to her gorgeous, smiling face. He smiled and winked at her.

She faked looking around and then pointed to herself in a mocking manner as the smile grew on his face. He set his bottle down and took off in a run towards her. She laughed out loud and ran to him, too. She heard the catcalls as she jumped into his arms. They looked at each other for a brief minute before their lips crashed into the others’. She felt his lips curl into a smile and she couldn’t help hers doing the same.

After a few minutes, they pulled apart and Brian set her down on her feet but he didn’t let her go. His arms stayed around her waist. Her arms tightened around his neck and she couldn’t resist pulling him in for another kiss.

“What are you doing here?” he asked when they pulled apart.

“I wanted to surprise you. Are you surprised?”

“No, absolutely not,” he said, but his smile contradicted his statement.

“Good, I’d hoped you were. I missed you so fucking much and I couldn’t wait to see you.”

“I thought you had to stay in New York, though,” Brian said.

“Not really; all we’re doing is just writing some new material.”

“What are you writing?’

“It’s a new song called ‘Lost in You’,” Eliza said.

“Can I hear it?”

“I don’t have my guitar,” Eliza said, placing her hand on her hip.

“You can use mine.”

“No.”

Brian smiled this smartass smile that made Eliza roll her eyes.

“Come on, Liza. Play my guitar.”

“No, Brian.”

When they first got together, she loved playing his guitar. She even started playing it so much he started…“charging” her. She had to give him a favor in order to play it. Finally, she stopped playing his guitar. He got the hint, and tried everything to get her to play his guitar but she wouldn’t.

“Eliza, I want to hear your song. I won’t even ask for the favor.”

“Sure you won’t,” Eliza said, rolling her eyes again.

He leaned into her ear. “We both know I’m going to get it later anyway. How about if you play, I’ll return the favor.”

Eliza felt a shiver go down her spine as his breath tickled her ear.

“Fine,” she said and he picked up his guitar, handing it to her.

She put the strap around her neck and adjusted it to her height. She knew Brian hated that but she didn’t care at the moment. Just before she started playing the guys appeared in front of her. She was assaulted by hugs from all of them. Katie and Val joined a minute later and they stood in a circle as they realized Eliza was about to play.
She was stopped by Val, though.

“Wait.. do you guys see what I see?” she asked as she looked at Eliza standing between Brian and Matt.

“No, what?” Johnny asked.

“Here,” Val said and she took Brian’s hat and bandana off his head.

She pulled Eliza’s sunglasses over her face and put the bandana and hat on her head. Everyone laughed.

“I don’t get it,” Eliza said.

“You’re Synyster Gates,” Jimmy said laughing.

Eliza looked down at the guitar around her neck and joined in laughing. She even did her best Brian pose as Val snapped a picture. Everyone laughed even harder. Brian took his stuff back and Eliza started to play.

“I always knew that you'd come back to get me, and you always knew that it wouldn't be easy; to go back to the start to see where it all began or end up at the bottom to watch how it all ends. You tried to lie and say I was everything. I remember when I said I'm nothing without you… Somehow I found a way to get lost in you. Let me inside, let me get close to you. Change your mind, I'll get lost if you want me to. Somehow I found a way to get lost in you”

Eliza finished and smiled at her friends who were clapping around her. Suddenly, a voice yelled over all of them and the guys, with the exception of Brian, scattered.

“Who was that about?” he asked as he moved closer to her. She pulled his guitar from around her neck and handed it to him.

“Hmm, I don’t know,” she teased as she leaned up on her toes to kiss him.

“Hey! You can’t give him head right now! We have a video to shoot!” Jimmy hollered.

Eliza immediately pulled back and looked toward Jimmy. “What the fuck did you just say?”

“You heard me. You may have played his guitar, but we’ve got shit to do!” he hollered back.

She whirled on Brian and hit him on his shoulder. “You little shit!”

"I didn't do it!" she heard Johnny yell. She ignored him.

“Hey! He fucking overheard me talking about it, goddammit!” Brian said in his defense.

“Jesus, Brian. We can’t do anything without them knowing, can we?” She asked, but she was smiling.

“I’m sorry baby,” he said and pulled her in for a kiss.

She sighed but reached up to kiss him again. It felt so good to be back in his arms. Honestly, she was still getting used to the fact that they were dating. For so long they’d been friends and nothing more. The first time they’d had sex, she thought it was great, but it was nothing compared to the way he made her feel now.

Speaking of, she was starting to get hotter as his hand moved from her waist to the side of her neck; whenever he held her face while kissing her she always melted. It was the way he held her gently while forcefully kissing her that did her in.

“I’ve got to get back to the set, but will you stay?”

“I’m all yours for three days,” she said into his mouth.

He pecked her lips again quickly, and rushed off to get his outfit changed.

Eliza stayed on the outskirts with Katie and Val, making fun of the guys, making them laugh and smile when they were trying to be serious. She’d even talked Katie into putting on a wig and being in the music video. She and Zacky waltzed to one part of the song. She watched as Brian faked ripping through his solo, laughed at Zacky, and laughed the hardest out of everyone while watching Matt try to run and fall.

Near the end of the day, she put her arm around Val, who did the same thing.

“It feels good to be home,” she said, watching the boys.