Amor Vicissitudine

“W-what” My voice barely escaped my lips as I stared down at Tony trying to carry Jaime toward me, blood pouring from a gaping wound in his chest,

“Sicily! You need to call the ambulance!” I could barely understand Tony as he yelled up the steps to me.

My phone slipped from my hand as I stared at my brother’s limp body. My heart began to crack, slowly, painfully as I stared at Jaime. I can’t lose him.

He’s the only family I’ve ever even barely trusted since I was left on my own. He can’t leave,

“J-Jaime.” My face was expressionless as I stared at them, “No.” My jaw started to shake and quiver as I stared at them,

“Sicily! Please!” I completely blocked Tony out.

There was blood smeared onto his face and it was covering his shirt and jacket. I didn’t like it.

Jaime was no different. He was limp in Tony’s arms with blood draining from the hole in his chest and his lips, his face was pale from loss of blood and his lips were starting to turn blue from the lack of ability to breathe.

He looked so helpless, so weak. It hurt me to watch as Tony tried dragging him up the stairs,

“SICILY! GODDAMMIT!” Tony’s sharp voice brought me back to the world and I stared at the ground for a moment before retrieving the phone to call the hospital.

By the time they’d answered I was starting to cry,

“Hello, what’s your emergency?” It was a woman,

“M-my brother he was sh-shot.” I couldn’t control myself as the tears ran heavily down my cheeks and hiccups started in my throat,

“Miss, I need you to speak clearly, what happened?”

Just at that instant Mike came out of the apartment looking around,

“M-Mike, take it.” I shoved the phone into his hands and ran into the structure, tears streaming down my face, leaving behind streaks of what little mascara was left on my eyelashes,

“What? Hello?” I slammed the door before I could hear any more of what Mike was saying and let my body collapse onto the couch, crying into my hand.

No I can’t lose Jaime. He’s all I have left that is worth it.

I let out a wail of pain as Tony burst into the apartment,

“Sicily!” He almost snapped at me as he moved to the couch, enveloping me in a tight hug, “Baby, he’s gonna be okay, alright?” He let go of me and moved his hands to my cheeks, smearing them with blood.

They smelled like iron,

“Look at me baby.” I didn’t want to actually look at him.

It hurt.

When I saw his face all I saw was him trying to get Jaime back up the steps and the blood and everything was not helping it.

I shook my head and pulled it out of his hands, standing silently to get away from him,

“Sicilia, please.” He grabbed my hand before I got far and tugged softly on it.

He sounded weak. Broken. Like his world had been shattered.

I tried to get away from him again but he pulled me back into his chest, hugging me tightly.

It was familiar, the way he hugged me. It was like when Jaime would hug me if I had a panic attack.

No. I don’t want to be reminded of him,

“N-no.” My voice was low as I tried to push Tony away, still crying.

He persisted in holding me to his chest. There was no use in trying to get away from him. He was too strong.

I gave in and crumpled into his arms, allowing his warmth to cover me as I sobbed into his bloodstained chest, the tears mixing with the still wet sections of blood,

“You’re okay. Jaime’s okay. The ambulance is coming.” He held me so tightly it took me back to my days when I was young. The way Jaime always knew when I needed this kind of hug and everything about him brought on more tears and I began to wail again, letting out all the pent up pain and anger that was still inside me,

“H-he ca-can’t leave me. I-I lov-ve him, so mu-uch.” My sentence was coming out in choppy bits as Tony held me tight,

“Baby, no one is leaving you.” His voice was low enough to be considered a whisper but it could still be heard over my excessive crying, “I’m not leaving you, Jaime isn’t leaving you. No one is leaving you.” He held my face again and stared down into my tear stained eyes, “I’ll make sure he doesn’t.” And with that he placed a reassuring kiss on my trembling lips, wiping my tears away as they fell.

No more pain. No mas,

“M-make it st-top.” I’d tried to slow my crying now, knowing I was going to be okay but I still was having trouble breathing, “I-I can’t bre-eathe.” I was still taking deep, quick breaths but it felt like I wasn’t taking in any air at all,

“Sicily, your lips.” My lips had started to tingle now and my face felt like it might pop, “They’re turning blue.”

Before anything else was said Tony picked me up and carried me to his car.

As he slipped me into the passenger’s seat Mike noticed us and waved to Tony,

“Where are you going?”

“Hospital!” Tony called back to him, driving away just as the ambulance was pulling up to take Jaime to the exact same place.

My vision started to blur as Tony drove as quickly as he could to the emergency room,

“Ci, I need you to stay awake, look we’re almost there.” My head lolled around with every bump and movement of the car. I didn’t have much control over it at the moment, “Come on babe.” He smacked my cheek and my eyes shot open, “There we go, there are those beautiful blue eyes.”

My head lolled toward him and my eyes landed on his face. His eye was starting to blacken from when Jaime had punched him.

Oh yeah, they’d gotten into a fight today.

I don’t care anymore. As long as they were going to be okay.

A tightness started in my chest that I couldn’t explain. The lack of oxygen was starting to take its toll on me.

Thank god we were almost to the hospital.