Blind Photographs

“Look. Photo. We’re trying to help you. We care about you. If you get yourself killed, we’re going to be left behind here, wondering what happened. What about Boom Box? What would she think?”

“Die for what you believe in or live behind your fears. There’s more to life and living than just how many years,” I recited slowly. “We all must have a price to pay, we all must trust our fate. And if I’m given just one more day I’ll go and join the great.” I felt him looking at me, but didn’t stop. “I’ll march beyond this purgatory and join my family wherever they’d be, then be proud of my own story because I lived my life free.”

“Where’d you learn that?” He asked.

“Lithium Angel taught it to me. She said it helped when it felt like we were all going to die.”

He thought about it for a second.

“Let’s go back inside.”

I packed my things and pushed my bag back under the cot. I couldn’t bring myself to stay here anymore. I had to leave- and soon.

“Boom Box,” I shook Grace awake. “We’re leaving, come on.”

“Where are we going?” She asked

“Somewhere far from here. It’ll be an adventure!”

I tried to act enthusiastic but I felt panic rising within me.

Leave her here. She’s safer than she’ll ever be with you. Radio Heat reasoned. We’ll travel faster and you can get up and go as often as you want.

“Photo? Photo?”

“Yeah? Let’s go!”

“I’m staying here. I like it here. They’re my family too.”

“Grace… listen to me. Alright? These people aren’t your family. I am. We’re bonded by blood.”

“They were always there for me,” She sniffed. Oh god, I made her cry.

“And I wanted to be. I just had no idea where you were. I was looking for you.”

“Why do we have to leave?”

“Just- just because. Now we need to go or else they’re going to wake up and we won’t be allowed to go.”

"Can't we tell the guys? They'll worry."
“No! I mean, no. We really shouldn’t.” My hands started shaking. They'd stop us. They'd ruin everything “Grace if we’re going to go, we need to go now.”

“I’m not going with you. You shouldn’t leave. We’ll miss you. You don’t have to go.”

“No, I really do. I love you Grace,” I said, kissing her on the forehead and turning to go.

I figured I’d follow the tunnels until I found some place to crash. I found the pieces of my glasses and taped them together, so I’d be able to navigate better.

“If you ever need me, I’m heading east. Maybe back to 21. I don’t know yet”

“Your names are going to change again.”

“There’s one that’s never left me. If you can’t find me, send a message to Destroya. I’ll find you. Don’t tell the guys. I need to go.”

And I left.