Blind Photographs - Comments

I love how it is a mashup between DC and mcr. It really creates an amazing universe for the two. It is very detailed which is a good thing because I can feel myself in this world with the characters. There are moments that I can feel was a bit rushed but it’s nothing to off putting. This was most definitely unique in many ways and I did enjoy it!

The opening scene was interesting. It painted an introduction to the main character and then detailing to the world around. Though the first impression I got from the main character was brash and the need to appear tough, which is something that can come in handy later on, but I think she failed there lol. The follow up on humor with the cockroaches made me laugh a little. Def good to see satire and I like that the MC is distrustful at first. The first chapter was a great introduction.
The second chapter, I don’t know if you meant to introduce something new about the killjoys, but you had mentioned them in the 1st chapter, but in this one it seemed like you were trying to do the main introduction while also reveling something new – so, I don’t know if you had meant to do that or not.
The third chapter is flowing, it’s moving a bit quick though, but that’s not always a bad thing. Just make sure you focus on the emotions, set the scene and slow down to give the reader a chance to get a feel of the story; a reader needs to feel what you do as you write this out and it’s not about the length of the chapter as what is involved to compel them to feel. Like, finding her sister safe – it’s just done so fast. You can read the turmoil and get a feeling of it, but for me it was hard to feel what the character was and then the indifference when she pretended not to know who her sister. I get it’s for a reason, but it just needed to go a little deeper. Radio is funny though, the sarcasm for that character is perfect.
The story itself is very unique and you got some great ideas. The story is just moving at a fast pace and the connections to the people are just happening super quick. I can see the world you’re creating at this point though, so your detailing and painting this world is honestly great, better than a lot of writers. I hope you continue on writing, because you do have talent. I wish you all the best on your future stories!

Comment swap brought me here.
I liked the flow of the story, however some things where hard to follow. I think one major thing that needed to be adjusted was verifying who was speaking, at times the dialogue was very hard to follow. I commend you for stepping out and writing a very unique story with a just as unique plot. Good job for finishing it!

(Comment Swap)

Opening paragraph. I'm a little unclear at times who 'he' is in the writing. Joker or Korse? Might need a little more clarity.

"If that thing's alive" - I realize this is dialogue, but you could use it to imply something about the MC since this is 1st Person POV.
"Is she/he alive" - now I know if MC is guy or girl early on for example.
Also, its just a really good habit to avoid the use of "it, thing, something" in writing. More of a self-inflicted negative on your own work, imo.

"One of them said" - I assume these aren't important characters as your being very vague and generic about them.

Your MC comes across as hostile and not very trusting. Not much of a back story to explain why. There was a mention of teams that gave it an almost 'Hunger Games' vibe, but without much else to go on (MC wakes up on sandy beach near tower by group of unknown men), I can't say. Maybe give a little more of the back story if you can - I'm still trying to see how Harley and the Joker are related, and who your MC really is.

First off, I'm so glad I was assigned this story, because I love MCR and killjoy stories. :-) Also, I like how you titled the story and the chapters, the names are really captivating. Your use of dialog was really cool and fun to read, and lastly, congrats on finishing this!

Brought to you by comment swap:
The summary really drew me in it was quite interesting. I dont know anything about my chemical romance but this was very well written. The title really interested me and made me want to read it. Also I liked your layout. :)
Good luck and keep writing

Comment Swap:
First and foremost I want to say kudos for the completion of this story, I always feel like that such an accomplishment and hell you have a sequel so you have passion for this story that's for sure! I'm not big on reading FFs on bands but this one was well written, I hadn't realized at first that it was MCR. The layout is okay, but i guess all that matters is what you're reading! Keep up the good work!

Hey! I'm from Comment Swap. Actually, I found this story quite unique. I don't know too much about My Chemical Romance, but I could still enjoy. I must appreciate the layout, its very different and quite cute haha <3 Also, your characters are very well developed and your descriptions are fantastic as well. All in all, I felt this story has a lot of potential. And actually, congratulations on finishing it! Its an awesome work. :)

*Comment Swap*
First I don't know anything about My Chemical Romance, so this probably wasn't the best story for me to read. Second I think that this story shows a lot of hard work and commitment, which is great! I think that if the characters meant more to me that this would have been an amazing story, but once again I had no idea who they were, sorry :( You did however do an amazing job by going into such great detail with this story, so props for that! Keep on writing because it seems like something that you're really good at!
Love Katherine-Lynn <3

First off, I love the colours in the layout - very MCR! In a sense of content, the story is really good. Your plot is developed fantastically and the characters are also well established. I'm not a massive fan of My Chemical Romance or action packed stories but this was definitely interesting and engaging. I see that you have written a sequel and I anticipate that this is a good background for your future writing in this series! Very well done!

Hey! I don't make it a habit to read band fictions (found this via comment swap), but I'm a fan of My Chemical Romance. Not a totally nut job, but I do love their Black Parade album and have written a MCR fic back in the day. Haha.

Okay, so first off, I love your summary. Although the disclaimer could be smaller, but I'm not raising hell about it. Shit, you should see mine. Lol. Anyways, I just sort of blew through this. You have a nack for description and I found this to be an awesome story. It was a little hard to follow at times, but all in all I couldn't seem to stray from this.

Also, what made it difficult to stay with the words, was the bright colors of the layout. They had my eyes crossing while trying to read the chapters and I have to resort back to the default layout. Besides all that jibber jabber, I just want to say that this story holds great imagry and good job. :)

I came to this story via a comment swap and something I always key into is layouts, because I find them semi-important. I think the layout needs work, I'm not saying it's god-awful but I'm saying it just looks a little sloppy, maybe spend some time on it, like another 5-10 minutes it can really make a difference. :)

I like the title though I think it's interesting it drew me in very well, the summary was short but despite being so short I think it did a really good job of drawing me in again, I wish it was a little longer however and I wish the disclaimer was smaller, and looked different then the summary because it really confused me.

Okay so I'm going to mention this again, I found the layout extremely distracting while I was reading the first chapter, extremely, I had a hard time concentrating because of the bright colors so I had to read it a few times.

The first chapter is extremely hard to follow, just who is talking, what's going on, it's just a lot of information thrown at you in a short period of time, so maybe just go through the first chapter and revise it, just make things clearer because I found it hard to follow and judging by some of the comments I'm not the only one. Other then that I thought it was really well written, when I could follow the descriptions were great, the detail was awesome, the characters were real and fleshed out, just make things clearer is the only thing I can pick on. :)

Even though I admittedly only read just the Summary, this sounds like an amazing story. I'm not really familiar with "Danger Days: The True Lives Of The Fabulous Killjoys" album (seeing as I just used Spotify to look up the album name) so I can't make a definitive analysis on this story. From the Summary alone, it sounds very interesting and makes me wonder why she has to change her name all the time. And, what I read from Spencer Walter Reid on the comments, I laughed at the first part... even though I don't know which one of My Chemical Romance guys plays Jet; it sounds like something Frankie would say, but I can't be sure.

I hope your readers love the sequel, and good luck in the future of writing.

I have no clue why I'm still commenting on here, I guess I just really love this story. It's the total package. Action-packed, as well. For some odd reason, the color scheme and storyline reminds me of Batman, the superhero, and his movie, The Dark Knight. I know purple and green represents the Joker, so maybe that's why it reminds me of batman. Anyway, bravo. I really loved,this stry, and can read it over and over again, each time, giving me a different perspective.

Love the names, too!

This was a really good story. Confusing at times, but really good.

I agree with the person below me...I also came to this through a comment swap and had no idea what was going on. xD I do like those kinds of stories, though, where I am pushed into the middle without any explanation beforehand...but I think you should put a little backstory in the middle or something. Not the whole thing, just enough for someone to know what's going on without knowing the entire background of the fandom. I enjoyed it, though, and read the entire thing...it definitely sounds like an interesting concept for whatever fandom it is for. I'm sure it's very good. :) <3

I came to this story through comment swap, and I couldn't get through the first chapter, not because your writing skills are bad, because they're not, I just have no idea what's going on. And a second point, I've seen so many MCR stories today, and I'm not a fan, it's really just throwing me off. Your sense for detail is awesome though. But I think you should be more clear on what is going on.

I am so happy you wrote this, I've pretty much read every Killjoy fanfiction on here so this was a great surprise, I really like the storyline and I can't wait to start reading the sequel :) I am a massive fan of My Chemical Romance, and I'm proper happy that this includes the team, I was also proper pleased when you include the two Killjoys named Joker and Harley, Carry on writing and keep running!

Finally comment swap brings me to an MCR fanfic, and an excellent one! Your characters are well developed, you plot is interesting, and your grammar is almost flawless. I've only read the first three chapters, but I plan on finishing it. I love it! The only suggestion i have is that you change the layout. These colors don't go well together at all, and if you want them to clash boldly to fit the killjoy theme, you should pick brighter colors.