Watching You

Our travel home had been safe with the tesseract. I stood by Thor’s side as we went towards our fellow warriors as they greeted us back home with open arms, giving Loki their glares and hated greetings. I said nothing to stop them, but felt my heart fill with grief as they spoke lowly of him. Though now we took Loki to our father to seek his punishment, and we could not hear the sentence to much of my displeasure. I wanted to know what Odin was going to do with him after all that he has done to the Earth. The worst thing he could do was exile Loki, but that would not work, that would give him more reason to do what he did again.

I accompanied Thor down to place the tesseract back to where it belonged, and I looked around the chambers for a moment before looking at him. “We are now done with our hard burdens,” he spoke, looking back at me after placing the tesseract down to its holding chamber. “What are you going to do now, Zenya?”

I gave him a shrug, walking towards him. “My heart seeks Loki, but I know that I will not be able to love him the same. Not now. He promised me a long time ago that he would never hurt me, but he broke the promise when he controlled me that day,” I spoke softly as I gazed at the tesseract as it glowed. I blamed everything on this object. The one object that Loki wanted to get in control of to destroy a realm, and the one object that had broken us apart. A sigh passed my lips, looking over at Thor as he placed his hand gently upon my shoulder.

“Everything will become different in time,” he told me, and I let his words linger in my mind. Everything will be different in time. Loki would be different in time. It was hard to believe that he would change when he becomes imprisoned for however how long Odin wants him to be. The God of Mischief had to sit in an isolated room, and that would allow anyone to be driven insane. I sighed at the thought, thinking that it would be worst for him to go into solitary confinement, but that is what his father would resort his punishment to.

“We will see,” I told him, silently excusing myself as I brought my way out of the holding chamber of the tesseract. I did not need to hear more words of Loki, I just needed time alone. He had been on my mind ever since his father took him away from my glance. The one glance that he left me was a look of apology. Those eyes begged for me to forgive him, but I could not. He had harmed me and he knew that he was in the wrong of that. The love that I had for him was slowly dying, but it would never fully fade away.

I walked far from where the Gods resided, going to the destination where I first laid my eyes on him all those years ago when I was a child. The fountain that brought us together. Where he used to sat to read, or just to think, while I just watched him from afar. What a curious child I was, watching this being from afar. A smile graced my lips as I remembered how we first made a conversation when we were a little older. The feelings I felt for the God felt different than I have ever felt.

I could hear our laughter, our old conversations, our smiles and our time of peace. Everything now was colliding back to my memory as I sat in our favorite spot. These memories made me realize how much I have grown to love the God as time went on. My fingers were placed upon my lips as the memory of our first shared kissed passed through my thought. A small laugh escaped them, and soon my eyes started to cloud with tears. The tears I had been holding in for the longest time made their way down my cheeks. My eyes closed, trying to fight back the tears that were flowing freely from my eyes like a waterfall.

I stood there in front of the fountain, bringing myself to pain. This was something that had been new to me. I have never felt this pain in the longest of time. It felt as if my soul was taken away from me when Loki was imprisoned. He took part of my soul with him, and I was forever tied to him. “Loki...” I spoke under my breath, trying to catch the sobs. I had been crying alone, but it was the release that I have been wanting for the longest time.

A presence made itself known behind me, and I glanced back. I turned back, trying to quickly gain my composure. Nothing was working as my mind drifted to the God of Mischief and I still had tears. Two hands were placed on my shoulder to turn my around, pulling me into an embrace. The sign of comfort made me feel weak, causing me to break down in hysterics. My body shook as I cried, sobbing uncontrollably. My comforter’s grip on me slightly tightened, telling me in a soft voice that everything will be okay.

“You deserve to cry, Zenya,” the God of Thunder’s voice sounded, “Your heart has been broken by my brother, and you do not deserve this.” His hug gave me the most comfort, and I slowly started to stop my crying when I started to become in control of my violent tears. He rubbed my back comfortingly, showing no signs of letting go until I gained composure.

“If Loki did not know of whom he was born, he would have never gone this far,” I spoke lightly, wiping the tears from my eyes. I only spoke the truth, and I knew Thor had thought the same. If it wasn’t for Odin to speak of it, none of this would have happened. His past should have been kept a secret, but Odin wanted what was right for the man that he raised as his son. “His thirst for power would have not grown this far, Thor, and I know you know this.”

He kept silent as I spoke about it, letting his hug loosen from me. He stepped away and I watched as his eyebrows furrowed as he thought more into this “My father was only telling him what he thought was right,” he spoke now, looking at me, “He did not know what it would cause in the future, but Loki did have a right to know of his origin.”

“What for Thor?” I questioned him, slowly becoming angered at this topic. “He was happy before he knew the truth! Yes, Odin did what was right, but he did not have to do it. Do you know how highly he spoke of you and your father? Do you know how happy he was to be in a family like yours? You did not know your brother well enough-”

“-You have no right to speak like that, Zenya. Loki and I laughed together, played together, and we built a brotherly bond that brothers should,” he told me, “I have watched him grow to where he put himself now.”

“I grew up with him Thor! I watched him from afar when we were younger, I knew who he was,” I spoke, standing my ground in our argument. “We love each other, is that what you do not understand Odinson? Does the concept of love fall so short for you? Do you think that only recently I have loved him?”

A sigh escaped his lips, and he soon shook his head. “I do not wish to argue about this with you,” he told me, and he soon took a step back from me. “I will leave you to your own thought about my brother. I do care for you like a sister, and I am only trying to help you.”

“Odinson, I do not wish for you to try to change my thoughts about the one I love,” I state as I turned my back towards the God. “Only speak to me if you wish not to speak of your brother.” That was then I decided to retreat from him, letting my thoughts linger on the one I loved. I had hoped in time that he would be let out to think about what has happened, but I would never be sure of the thoughts that he had about what happened.