I'm Alright Like This

“You have everything you need?” Alex asked, placing his hands on both of my shoulders.
“Yes, dad, I have everything,” I rolled my eyes.
“Yeah I don’t think I'm into that, Luce, sorry.” He slowly took his hands off my shoulders and took a step back.
“I have everything except you,” I grabbed his hand and pulled him back to me and kissed him. “Why aren’t you coming?”
“I’m only missing a few shows, Goose, I’ll be there next week. This was the only week all of us could get to Rian’s studio in Nashville. I’m sorry.” He pressed his lips to my head.
“Yeah but you won’t be there for the first show.” I looked down, but only for a second before Alex’s finger was lifting up my chin.
“In the least rude way, Goose, you don’t need me there to be fantastic. I’m sure Amelia will send me videos or facetime me or something. You’re gonna be incredible.”
“Ugh, I hate when you do that,” I pushed away a small tear before kissing him. I hugged him a few more times before my taxi pulled up.

Alex helped me put my bags into the trunk and kissed me so gently but passionately I felt my legs almost give out. As the taxi drove away, I watched him stay in the driveway waving until he was too small to see. I looked out the window and watched the trees, cars, houses, buildings, and people pass by. I couldn’t help but think about why Alex was so supportive of this project in the beginning, but now was backing off. I have always been so supportive of him and it hurt that he wasn’t doing the same for me. Eventually, the taxi brought me to the private airport I was flying out of. The label had a lot of confidence in me for this tour so they set up the jet so I could get to the shows quickly. The first few were on the east coast, and started in three days. They gave me today to travel and relax, then a few days to rehearse. I sent an “I love you” text to Alex before the plane took off and put my headphones on and somehow fell asleep even though my mind was busy running a marathon.

I woke up just as we were landing in New York City. It was a beautiful view.

After getting settled in my hotel room, I decided to explore the city a little bit. Amelia, my new assistant who was turning into my best friend, would be landing in a few hours so I figured I would do some sightseeing or shopping to kill time. I was wandering around when I found a cute little coffee shop on a side street. I pushed my head phones off my head and around my neck and looked up at the name of the stop when I walked right into someone.

“Oh my god! I am so sorry!” I said and then froze when I realized who I had run into. His dirty blonde hair was still cut the same, but just a little overgrown. His black rectangle glasses still covered his warm, brown eyes.
“Holy shit, Lucy?” a smile started to pull at his face.
“Hi Sam,” I said slowly. It took a second but he pulled me in for a hug.
“How’ve you been? It’s been years.”
“I’ve been good. Here on tour actually.” I was having an internal battle of deciding how much information I should tell him. It was making words slowly come out of my mouth and I could tell by his face he knew something was up.
“That’s awesome! How’s Alex’s tour going? I thought it did start for another month or so?”
“No I'm here on my own tour. I’m starting up a solo project so they’re having me open up for Tay Jardine’s new project for a few dates. Its just a small run though.”
“Well damn! That’s great for you Luce!” I felt a pang when his voice said my name instead of Alex. “I bet it’ll go great. I know I miss the stage so I'm sure you do too.”
“Yeah I do, but I'm still a little nervous like always. The stuff I’ve put together is almost totally different than what Surrender Seventeen did so I don’t know how people will like it.”
“Not trying to brag here, Luce,” he put a hand on my shoulder. “But when I was writing my novel, I was terrified about people not wanting to read a story that I wanted to tell. And then it was released and people have really liked it. You gotta take the leap.”
“Yeah I guess that’s true. Well it was good to see you. I gotta grab some coffee and meet with some people.”
“Oh, please, let me.” He opened the door for me and followed me inside. “I love this place. Their cold brew is fantastic. They were smart to call it Happy Bones because damn my bones are happy after having some coffee.”
“Thank you.”

A little later, my phone lit up and I was praying it would be my boyfriend but instead it was Amelia.

“Hey MiMi.” I said in a deep breath.
“Uh why the somberness?” she snipped. “Your girl just landed! Let’s find each other!”
“I’ll explain when I see you. Meet at the hotel?”
“Sure thing.” I hung up and walked back to the hotel she had booked for us. All the nervousness about starting the tour was hitting me and then the anxiety about why Alex was being so incredibly weird and adding Sam on top of all of that… I needed to just relax. I wanted a nap. I wanted a shot. I wanted a bowl. I wanted a hug from Alex. And maybe a bubble bath.

I walked into the lobby of the hotel and went right to the elevator. I hit one of the top buttons since Amelia and I talked the manager into giving us a suite somehow and waited for it to go up to my floor. I leaned my head against the wall, closed my eyes, and took a deep breath. The bell dinged for my floor and I walked down the hall to the suite. I opened the door and went to the window and somehow found myself relaxing just by watching the world go on around me. Millions of people walking millions of different paths. After a few minutes, I grabbed my guitar and started strumming and picking.

“Only a quitter, would let it go,
I’m your fool in a one man show.
I was so bitter, till you came along
You set my sails when the tide was low,
We’re going down this road, with tears in our rearview mirror,
Far from home, but in the dark you know,
With me you’ve got nothing to fear.
So lets run away, they will have to find another heart to break,
Why don’t we just run away, never turn around no matter what they say,
We’ll find our way—“ I was interrupted by an all too familiar voice behind me.

“When the sun goes down, on this town there’ll be no one left but us,
just like runaways, they will have to find some other hearts to break, hearts to break.”

I turned around and looked at Alex standing there with a stupid smile on his face. I put my guitar down and ran into his arms. His arms went around my shoulders and I felt him kiss my head. I felt a few tears threatening to spill but held them back. We just stood there for a minute holding each other. He pulled away and kissed my head before kissing me.

“I liked hearing you sing my song,” he ran his fingers through my hair before just holding my face. “Didn’t know you knew how to play it.”
“Lex I was there when you wrote it, I laughed a little.
“Oh yeah,” he smiled. “You’re always there. You’ve always been there. And I want you to always be there.” His hand left my face and went into his pocket. “I’m sorry I have been distant the past few weeks, and please know that it was for a really good reason. I know you wanted me to be more involved with this whole process but I knew you could do it without me being there. Plus I know you might have gotten another song out of that frustration.” He winked a little. He started to pull something out of his pocket. “I guess what I'm trying to say is the reason I was so busy was—“ He stopped when my phone started ringing. I looked at it and saw the number one name that should not be calling me in this moment. I felt the color drain from my face. I leaned down and silenced the phone and saw Alex take a step back from me.

“Why is he calling you?”
“I was getting coffee earlier and literally bumped into him. I told him I was here on tour but I didn’t think he still had my number-“
“You told him to call you?” he interrupted me.
“What?” I shook my head no aggressively. “Of course not Lex. I meant that I didn’t think he would call me after the way I talked to him. I didn’t show any sort of interest during the whole conversation.”
“Out of all the times he could call you this is when?” Alex ran his empty hand through his hair shaking his head in disbelief.
“It’s not like I planned it. How was I supposed to know that you were gonna show up here right now? Like you said you haven’t been around for the past few weeks Lex. Yeah he has shitty timing but I don’t appreciate that you're assuming I'm talking to him again. You can even ask Amelia when she gets here.”
“Do you think I don’t know about you guys texting when we first started dating Lucy? I know you said if we ever broke up that you would date him.”
“And that was years ago now Alex. You think after all this time and everything we’ve been through that I would do that to you?”
“Well like you said I haven’t been around.” His voice changed to such a somber tone that I hadn’t heard before.
“Why are you doing this Alex? I know what you were about to ask so why are you backing down?”
“I dunno, Luce,” he pulled a beanie over his messy hair before heading towards the odor. “I need to go clear my head I’ll see you later.”
“What the actual fuck?” I said quietly and watched as Alex stopped for a quick second then continued out the door.

How did that all get so messed up? How did Alex go from almost proposing to me to accusing me of cheating on him? Is this real life? Was I dreaming? How was I supposed to go do rehearsals and everything after this?
I sat down on the bed and held my head in my hands. My head started to hurt from all the spinning that just happened. Why was he doing this? He basically told me he was going to marry me when he was drunk that night. How is he gonna give that up so easily?

“Hey girl!” Amelia burst into the room. I looked up to see her smile quickly drop to a frown when she saw the tears streaming down my face. “What’s wrong?”
“I ran into Sam at this coffee shop and wasn’t leading him on at all and then I came back here because I was all stressed out about tour and Alex and now Sam and then I started playing guitar to feel better and then all of a sudden Alex was here singing with me and then he started getting into this whole pre-proposal speech and Sam fucking called me in the middle of it and Alex accused me of cheating with him and then he left and I don’t know what to do and I can’t even think about performing tonight.” I let out a breath and started sobbing. She held me a little bit and let me cry.
“Its gonna be okay, Luce,” she rubbed my back a little. “Alex knows you wouldn’t do that to him. He was probably just upset that his moment got ruined.”
“I don’t know Mi, he looked so defeated.”
“Well how about we have Dax and James come here for rehearsal and we’ll all go the bar tonight. I think there’s an Emo Night somewhere near here. We’ll go there to help you feel better.”
I nodded and went to the bathroom to clean myself up.

After the guys came over for rehearsal, Amelia and I started working on doing make-up and hair and basically making it look like I wasn’t a total emotional mess. We got dressed and then hopped in the cab to where the Emo Night was taking place. I looked down at my phone and had no notifications from Alex. I sighed and looked out the window. I opened the door and we both slid out after paying the driver and walked in. Amelia whispered something to the bouncer and he led us right in and to a green room near the stage. I hugged the guys running it and sat on the couch. One of them sat next to me and made some small talk. Then I heard a familiar voice. I looked up to see his messy hair perfectly done under a snapback, his tight ripped jeans clinging onto his legs and his Taylor Swift sleeveless shirt under his jean jacket. I felt a simultaneous wave of relief and panic when we locked eyes. I was just about to get up and run to him when the other guy who would be DJ tonight beat me to him.

“Hey man! How’ve you been? Thanks for coming by!” he sounded far too excited.
“Hey, thanks. Can you give me a second though? I have some apologizing to do.” He patted the guy’s shoulder and walked over to me and without saying anything, gave me an “I’m such an idiot” look then crashed his lips onto mine. Everyone in the room started clapping. Alex pulled away smiling and kissed my forehead.
“I’m sorry Goose. I’m so sorry.”
“Stop its okay,” I gently kissed him. I heard the familiar bass line of Dance, Dance start up. “Let’s go have some fun!” I gave him one last kiss and then ran out onto the stage and heard the crowd go crazy.

“Ladies and gentleman, Lucy Harris from Surrender Seventeen!” the DJ yelled and started playing one of my old songs. I sang along with the crowd to it and held a few hands of people in the crowd. It was amazing to be with a crowd again have them be excited to see me. I jumped and danced and sang for a few songs when I heard a familiar cough on the speakers.
“I got your picture, I'm coming with you, dear Maria, count me in. There’s a story at the bottom of this bottle and I’m the pen.” Alex came running onto the stage with us and the crowd lost it all over again. I sang every word with him and it was the exact medicine I needed after a day like today. Alex held my hands and danced with me and I laughed. After the song, the dj didn’t immediately start up another song. I looked around at everyone and they all kinda shrugged their shoulders.

“Sorry for the interruption, folks,” Alex said into a microphone. “But I have something I need to say and I don’t think you guys would mind.”
“Alex what are you doing?” I whispered in his ear. I looked at him and he only smiled.
“This girl right here is one of the best people I have ever met. Did you know she’s here on tour?” He asked and the crowd yelled for me. I smiled and waved. “As some of you may or may not know, a few years ago, our record labels asked us to pretend to be in a relationship as a publicity stunt. I know Lucy was super hesitant to agree to it but I can’t begin to describe how happy I am that she took a chance on me. I fell in love with her almost instantly. She has been my biggest fan since we met, my best friend, my therapist, and my rock for all these years. We have obviously had our ups and downs like every relationship has, but Lucy always makes sure every down goes right back up. I wouldn’t trade the past six years for anything, Luce. That being said,” Alex started fumbling around in his pocket and pulled out a little black box. If I wasn’t tearing up already, I knew I would at this moment. He slowly got down on one knee and the crowd went nuts. “I don’t know much about what my future holds, Lucy Harris, but I know I want to hold you for the rest of my life. I know I want to wake up to you dancing around the kitchen for the rest of my life. I want to have you be the one to put my drunk ass to bed when we have the guys over. I want you for the rest of my life.” The crowd all “aww-ed” at the same time. “I guess my point is, will you marry me Lucy Harris?”

https://goo.gl/images/wQwW8V

I nodded because I honestly couldn’t get the words out fast enough. As the crowd screamed and clapped for us, Alex slid the gorgeous princess cut ring onto my finger. He hugged me and picked me up and we spun around. He kissed me and helped me wipe my make up smeared eyes before just holding my face and looking into my eyes.
“I would love to marry you, Alexander,” I finally said. I kissed him and then threw my arms in the air and screamed in excitement. The music picked up again and I noticed Amelia standing in the front row with a camera and I laughed and showed the ring to the camera. Alex slid his arms around my waist with his big goofy smile and I leaned back into him. We danced like that for a few minutes then just enjoyed the night. We started drinking beers and just had fun and it was the best night in such a long time.

I woke up the next morning and saw Alex laying on his back with his face turned away from me. His hair was even messier than usual and his chest was slowly rising and falling. I adjusted myself and ran my fingers through his hair gently. It always amazed me how his hair stayed so soft even with all the product he's put in his hair and all the dyes and what not. I gently kissed his cheek and then his lips and when he didn’t budge, I laughed a little before getting up to order room service. I checked my phone and dear lord I have never had so many notifications. Between calls, texts, tweets, Facebook posts, Instagram tags and followers… I could only laugh to myself. I guess this what I’ll have to be used to when Alex and I get married. There were a few texts that caught my eye, after I decided to cypher through the social media posts later.

From: RiGuy!
Decided you were ready to take on both?? Lol congrats to you crazy kids!

From: Jack
HOW DARE YOU
I THOUGHT WE AGREED ALEX IS MINE
I guess we can share him. I’m still coming over for football.
Congrats kiddo

From: Sam Miller
Didn’t realize you and Alex were that serious. Guess that’s why you didn’t answer my call yesterday. Good luck to you guys.

I decided to just delete Sam’s text. After Alex’s reaction to just a phone call yesterday, I wasn’t about to stir the pot.

To: RiGuy
Thank you! And honestly I didn’t hesitate to say yes at all. I was just overthinking all that shit. I can handle more than I give myself credit for… where have I heard that before???? Love you Ri

To: Jack
I’M SORRY I FIGURED HE GAVE YOU A HEADS UP! You can come over whenever you want you know that. Except for bed time if you know what I mean ;)

I felt the bed moving next to me and realized I got way too distracted and forgot to order the room service.

“Good morning, beautiful,” Alex’s sleepy voice always made me feel some type of way.
“Good morning, fiancé,” I smiled and laid on top of him and kissed him. “You might want to call your other lover. He's not very happy with you.” I left a few random kisses around his face and neck.
“I’m actually a little busy right now,” his hands found their way to my waist and he pulled me closer before kissing me deeply. I smiled while kissing him back.
“I love you so much, Lex. Thank you for last night.”
“Thank you for saying yes,” he laughed. His fingers trailed up and down my spine and we started gently kissing again and I never wanted it to stop. “You excited for your first show tonight?”
“Yeah I think so,” I said slowly. “It’ll be easier with you there for sure.”
“You’d be fine either way, Luce. We both know that.”
“Maybe you know that,” I booped his nose. “I might need some convincing.” I went to kiss him but he flipped us so he was on top of me.
“Oh, I’ll convince you,” his mischievous grin told me exactly what he had in mind and I couldn’t wait for round four.