I Don't Love You, Like I Did Yesterday

Ronnie's P.O.V. Two Days Later

"Get back in your bed and get some damn rest you stubborn bitch!" Adam yelled towards the back of the bus at Lex after we heard her door crack open. She had been making attempts to escape since yesterday, and it was my turn to make sure she didn't leave the bus while everyone else was out shopping. Luckily for me, on my way to Lex's bus, her loving brother opted to come with me.

After hearing a muffled "Fuck off." From the other side of the door I smirked and shook my head before getting up.

"Is it your turn to burp the baby?" Adam looked up and snorted when he saw me get off the leather sofa and start towards the injured girl's room.

"Better hope she didn't hear that." I laughed over my shoulder before reaching over to open the door. Before my fingers even touched the knob, the door flung open, almost knocking me over.

"Who's the fuckin' baby?" Lex stood there glaring at her brother, hand still on the door knob, preventing me from coming out from my spot wedged in between the other side of the door and the wall.

"Are you deaf? Get back in bed. You heard the damn doctor!" Adam didn't even flinch from his spot in the lounge.

"Fuck you. I'm not sixteen anymore. You can't tell me what to do or beat my boyfriends up anymore." She waved his comment off with a simple flick of her wrist as I shut the door. The clicking noise caused her to turn around, her long, messy, ponytail whipping around her shoulder as she smiled at me.

"Hi Ronnie." If I had any hard feelings about being in sandwiched against the wall a minute ago, they would've melted away instantly. "Where were you?" She looked around confused.

"In the bathroom." I lied and shrugged my shoulders before taking my leather jacket off and hanging it on her door.

"Oh, okay." She smiled and walked over to the fridge, I walked after her and sat down on one of the stools at the counter.

As Alexandria opened the freezer and dug around, looking for something, Adam decided to put his two cents in again.

"Radke, I said yous' can be together, not that you had to follow my sister around like a lost puppy." He snorted, clearly amused.

I felt my face heat up and glared at him. "I don't need your permission for shit either." I heard Alexandria snort and laugh from her spot pretty much halfway in the freezer.

"Whoa, puppy's not all bark over here." He stood up and stretched, grinning at his own joke. I flipped him off and he waved goodbye as he opener the bus door. "Peace lovebirds. I'm outskie."

"Dueces asshole." Lex smiled back as she stepped back from the freezer, holding a box of hotpockets and a bag of popcorn chicken.

The bus door closing after Adam made Lex sigh.

"What's wrong?" I asked her as she put the hotpockets in the microwave, one for both of us.

"Well," She reached over to the other counter to turn on the deep fryer. "Adam hasn't had a serious conversation with me in days. Everytime I try to see what's up he either calls me crazy or cracks a joke." She grabbed a bag of French fries out of the freezer and dumped half of the bag into the hot oil.

"I think something might be going on back home." She looked down and frowned. My dad has only been calling once a day. It's usually double that." I felt a pang at my heart and reached over the counter and grabbed her hand. Lex looked back up at me as I tugged on it, and she leaned on her elbows over the counter. Making us nose to nose.

"If it were something that bad, your dad would've told you, right? Aren't you closer with him than Adam?" I frowned. She shrugged, kissing my nose before turning back to empty the deep fryer of our food.

"Of course, he raised me, while Adam's mother raised him. We didn't even meet until I was sixteen, and back then we were always at each other's throats because he thought he'd take on the role of protective big brother and go around beating up my guy friends. He'd drive over to party's where I was at, and drag me home. I hated it. My dad had just gotten a new job, and I didn't wanna bother him with it, so one day, he hit one of my ex boyfriends and I freaked." My eyes widened at her last sentence. She laughed at the memory as she separated our food onto two plates, wiping some of the breading from the chicken off on her sweat pants. She looked down and grimaced, immediately regretting getting food on her favorite sweats. I laughed and she shook her head, letting her blonde bangs fall into her eyes. She paused and lit a cigarette the she pulled from behind her ear as she waited for the food to cool down. I glared as she took a drag of the cancer stick, considering I hid her pack earlier.

"After all the bullshit at first, we fought for a month straight at home whenever we saw eachother, but when we squashed everything, we became close." She shrugged, flicking the butt of her cigarette into the sink behind her. We started to eat and talk more on the subject of families, and the advantages of touring to get away from it all. We stayed off the subject of our mothers, even though we had already talked about it before, we decided it didn't need to be brought up to ruin our quiet day. After we ate, we settled for watching a movie and laying on the couch. Before we knew it, it was eight p.m. and she received a text from everyone saying they were heading back to the venue soon. I frowned after reading the text message from over her shoulder. I was hoping to spend a lot of time with Alexandria, but apart from our reminiscent taco bell date, when she was released from the hospital, I was either playing a show or she was confined to her bed in the small room in the back of the bus.

Alexandria sighed and picked her head up from my chest and looked at me, her green eyes looking tired.

"They've been talking." She sighed as she sat up as I followed her actions.

"Huh? Who? About what?" I scratched the back of my neck and scrunched my nose in confusion.

"My band. My brother. His band. your band. They want to know what we are." She put her hands in her lap and stared at them, glancing at me from the corner of her eyes when I hesitated to answer. As her words sunk in, my heart dropped into my stomach and started to pound ferociously. I swallowed thickly and sighed. Her tone wasn't a happy one, and I wasn't sure when I wanted to bring this subject up to her, but it looked like now I didn't have a choice.

"What do you mean?" I played dumb, hoping she would continue without an explanation.

"Don't play dumb, Radke." She glanced at me again and raised an eyebrow. Hopes crushed.

I sighed again and pushed my fingers through my black layers of hair and decided to make a mental note to get it trimmed.

"Well... when everything at the hospital went so well after you woke up, I was just so happy you were okay and that I could be around you without hiding my feelings. We've been able to hangout, and even though it's just been a few Peck kisses here and there, I didn't wanna bring it up and have you push me away. I don't expect you to jump into my arms and us go off into the sunset, but there's only a month left of warped, which means we'll be on two different sides of the country without even knowing what this was to begin with." I swallowed again. She stopped staring forward and turned to me. Her green eyes softened more as she sighed as well. She tugged at the hem of her eagles t-shirt and looked at her tattoos before finally saying something back.

"Of course I could never ignore what happened." I winced, thinking that was the end of it, and that was it. But, she smiled and looked down again and continued. "And I know that we've put eachother through so much hell, I cannot go on with knowing that we could've been okay. You're right. I can't just jump back into your arms and shit," she paused, and I had to resist the urge to laugh at her wording. "But I guess I just second everything you just said." She laughed and I took her hand, slipping her fingers through my larger tattooed ones. She let her bangs fall just into her eyes as her smile began fade depressingly. I felt my eyes began to sting and wiped my other palm on my light blue jeans. Questions flooded my mind at an alarming rate as I felt panic rise in my chest. I squeezed her hand and put my own head down, staring at the carpet floor of the lounge.

Was it over already?

Does it always have to come to an end with her?

Does she feel like she wouldn't be able to be with me because of the last three years?

I desperately wished all them to be a no, but I was unsure because of her silence. After about ten minutes, I deemed it was time to break that silence.

"Do you think it would work?" I asked so quietly that I heard her hair hit the side of the couch when she snapped her head back toward me.

"Huh?" She asked slightly louder. My heart began to pound so loud that I barely heard my own voice over it. I looked back up into her eyes and repeated myself.

"Would it work? Could we get over the past and start over?" I asked, pretty much bearing my soul to the only woman I've ever really loved. She moved closer to me and kissed the teardrop tattoo under my eye, a silent plea for my not to cry, because then she would too.

"I'd like to think our feeling are strong even too, I have faith that we probably could." She said resting her head on my shoulder. "Can I sleep on it?" Her voice was soft. I closed my eyes and nodded, knowing that even though she wasn't looking, she probably felt my hair brush against hers. I really didn't trust my own voice not to crack right now anyway, so I swallowed before clearing my throat.

"Of course. All the time you need. We have the rest of the week to talk about it." I said, hoping she'd catch the tone in my voice that pleaded for her to just be quick. And hopefully tell me yes.

We got up from the couch and slowing stepped towards the door leading outside, our hands still linked. She used her free hand to rub her tired eye adorably and I smiled down at her as we stood in front of the door. I leaned down and pressed my lips to hers, inhaling quickly when her ruby snake bites brushed against my bottom lip. Alexandria wrapped her arms around my neck and I slid mine around her waist. I smiled inwardly, hoping everyday could be like this as I pulled her against my chest. When we pulled apart, I took a breath and squeezed her one last time before opening the door, letting some cool night air into the bus. She smiled at me and let me go, and I found it hard to to the same.

I said goodbye one last time before stepping out and closing the door behind me. I took a deep breath and leaned my back against the metal and let my head roll back so I could look up into the night sky.

"I love you Alexandria."