Caving In

“Hey Momma?” Mason questioned from the backseat as we drove to school. “Can you come inside with me today?”

“I wish I could Bub, but I have a doctor’s appointment with Daddy. How about tomorrow?” I offered, looking at him over my shoulder with a smile.

Mason nodded, “Is the doctor for the baby?”

“It is,” I confirmed, turning back around in my seat as I adjusted the seatbelt around my small pouch. Twelve weeks along already.

“Daddy? When will we find out if I’m getting a baby brother or sister?”

Matt sighed, running the pad of his thumb over my knuckles as he glanced at the kindergartener in the backseat, “I don’t know Mace, we didn’t know you were a boy until the day you were born.”

“Oh no,” Mason gasped, his hazel eyes wide. “I don’t think I can wait that long.”

Matt chuckled, squeezing my hand, “I know the feeling kiddo.”

Mason unbuckled his seatbelt quickly as Matt pulled the truck into a parking space, throwing his arms through the loops of his backpack. He stood up, pressing a hasty kiss to my cheek before jumping out the door. “Have a good day at school, Mace!” I called out the window, smiling to myself as he ran toward a group of boys playing a game of cards before the bell rang.

Mason looked over his shoulder, waving, “I will! Tell the baby I said hi!”

I shook my head, rolling up the window as I grinned at Matt, “Can he stay like this forever? Young and carefree?” I asked softly, watching as my little boy climbed the stairs of the school with his buddies. “I’m dreading the time when he hates me.”

“Allie, he is never going to hate you,” Matt assured me as he began to back out of the parking space. “That kid is crazy about you.”

“But he isn’t going to be a kid forever, Matt. Teen angst, remember? I couldn’t stand my mother by the time I was sixteen,” I argued slightly, shifting in my seat to get comfortable as we made our way to Dr. Johnson’s office.

“You can’t compare yourself to your mother,” Matt groaned, looking over at me as he stopped at a light. “Baby, you have nothing to worry about, I promise you.”

I nodded, silently chastising myself for being so emotional. “My damn hormones are so out of whack right now,” I laughed, brushing under my eyes to remove the unwanted tears. “I found myself worrying about college last night,” I admitted softly, feeling ridiculous just mentioning it.

“Albany, he is seven!” Matt snickered.

“It’s never too early to be thinking about money!” I argued with a smile. “College is expensive for one kid not to mention two!”

Matt settled down, shaking his head, “I’m already on that one, Sweetie.”

“You are?”

Matt fell silent, his eyes directed toward the road, “The day Mason was born, I felt so incredibly useless. I couldn’t see him; I couldn’t hold him. I had to do something. So I opened up a bank account in his name the next morning. I’ve been putting in big chunks of cash from every record pay out, tour pay days and merchandise sales ever since. Last time I checked, we were closing in on 20 grand.”

“Oh Mattie,” I murmured. “You didn’t have to do that.”

“I had to do something,” Matt objected as he pulled into the parking lot, quickly finding a place and parking. “I want Mason to know, when he is old enough to understand, that even though I wasn’t around, he was never far from my mind. I’ve worked really hard with him in the back of my mind, pushing me to make something out of myself. I don’t ever want him to struggle, with anything. Money, a roof over his head, it’s all there for him. The same goes for this baby,” Matt’s touch was gentle as he brushed his finger tips over my stomach. “I opened him, or her, an account last week.”

I leaned over the center counsel quickly, pressing my lips to his in a rush. This man, who had starred in many of my nightmares for the last six years, made me cry, broken my heart and then picked up all the pieces again, was the most amazing person on the planet. He was so rough on the outside, littered with tattoos and armed with biceps that could kill, but he was still human. And I was crazy about him. “I love you,” I sighed into the kiss, reveling in the feel of his hands on my neck and side.

Matt chuckled, the heavy air surrounding us lifting as the conversation eased, “I love you too, but if we don’t get inside, we are going to miss the appointment.”

“I can reschedule,” I reasoned with a grin, leaning in to kiss him once again.

“Don’t tempt me, woman,” Matt warned playfully, pulling away. “Come on, I wanna see my baby.”

Once we were inside the office, Matt seemed at ease compared to the first time I had brought him around. We signed in quickly before taking seats in the waiting room. It didn’t take long though before I was tapping my fingers impatiently. I grabbed a magazine off the rack beside me, a crinkled issue of Oh Baby!, flipping open the pages and studying the articles inside. “Did you know the baby is just over 1 and ½ inches long?” I asked Matt softly, my brow frowning slightly. “I wonder why I have such a belly already.”

Matt shrugged his shoulders slightly, “Maybe we’re having twins.”

My eyes widened as I gasped, slapping his arm, “That’s not funny,” I hissed.

“You’re right, I’m sorry,” Matt laughed, rubbing his arm where I had smacked him. He cleared his throat, leaning closer to look over my shoulder, “What else does it say?”

I exhaled loudly, scanning the page for more, “He or she can already open and close their hands to form a fist but they still resemble an alien facially.”

Matt was quiet as he studied the picture of the small fetus, “Wow,” he murmured.

I smiled, pressing a kiss to his stubbly cheek as the same plump nurse from the last visit emerged from a doorway, “Albany?” Matt stood first, offering his hand to me as I threw the worn magazine onto the chair. “How are you doing today?” Cheryl questioned as she led us to an exam room.

“Oh, I’m doing just fine, thank you,” I replied, stepping into the room.

Cheryl nodded, “Dr. Johnson will be in shortly.”

Matt thanked her, watching her disappear behind the closing door. He quickly dragged a chair over to the bed, grabbing my hand and squeezing it. He kissed my knuckles softly, “So what are we looking at today?”

“Hopefully we get to hear the baby’s heartbeat.”

Matt’s eyes grew large, the florescent lighting illuminating the hazel, “Seriously?”

I giggled, nodding as the door to the exam room opened and Dr. Johnson poked his head inside. “Albany,” he greeted. “How is everything?”

“It’s good,” I smiled, rubbing my stomach, “Real good.”

“That’s great, still having morning sickness?” the doctor questioned, pulling over the rolling stool.

I groaned slightly, earning a chuckle from the men, “Yes, but it’s starting to die down.”

He nodded, taking notes on a clipboard, “It should be gone in a few weeks when you start your second trimester. What about you, Matt? How are you adjusting to the idea of a new baby?”

Matt straightened up, “Oh uh, I’m excited; nervous, but excited.”

“That’s normal, Son. A baby is a wonderful thing.”

Matt nodded, “Yes, sir.”

“Alright, well I think that is enough with the questions for now, let’s get started,” Dr. Johnson stood, setting down the clipboard. “Albany, will you please roll up your shirt slightly? Okay, I’m going to press slightly on your lower abdomen to locate your uterus, then we’ll put some of this gel on and we’ll listen for a heartbeat, and maybe even get a sneak peak at the little one.”

“That sounds perfect,” I sighed, squeezing Matt’s hand tightly when the freezing gel hit my tummy. Matt leaned, kissing my forehead. He brushed the hair to the side, smiling down at me as the doctor quickly set up the ultrasound machine. “I love you,” I hummed, leaning into his body as the lights went out in the room.

“Okay,” Dr. Johnson exhaled loudly; returning to his seat on the stool as he gently pressed the wand into my abdomen. “If you’ll look close at this flashing right here in the center, that’s your baby’s heart, hammering away; very healthy,” he spoke softly, holding the wand still so the baby remained on the screen as he turned a dial just below the monitor, filling the room with a gentle thudding sound. A sound that somehow resembled the thunder of hoofs, a galloping horse, echoed off the walls of the small exam room. For a moment, it seemed as if everything had just stopped. There was no one else in the room except me, Matt and this baby; my little miracle. Our little miracle. The doctor flipped another switch causing the heartbeat to loop as he moved the wand around, searching. “Ah, here is baby’s hand,” Doctor Johnson announced. “Would you like to see it in 3D?”

“You can do that now?” I questioned in surprise.

Doctor Johnson chuckled, nodding, “By enabling 3D viewing, we allow the parents to view their little bundle in a new way, as if the fetus is reaching out to touch you,” he pressed a button, proving his point. Matt inhaled sharply beside me, unconsciously clutching my hand tighter. Tearing my eyes away from the tiny black and white screen, I noticed the tears pooled in the hazel eyes I’d fallen for many years ago. Matt cleared his throat quickly, smiling down at me as he swiped under his eyes quickly, looking back toward the screen. The doctor pointed to something, adjusting the wand to receive a better angle. “And this here, this is the baby’s head.”

“Oh,” I murmured softly, studying the small image on the screen. “It’s so small.”

“He or she is just the size of a lemon,” Dr. Johnson agreed. “Would you like sonograms?”

“Please,” I responded, using a paper towel the doctor had given me to remove the blue gel.

“Alright, do you two have any questions?”

I looked toward Matt with a smile, realizing his eyes were still glued to the TV, “Well, Mason was wondering when we’ll be able to find out the gender.”

“That’s a great question. At the earliest, we can try and see at your next appointment. You’ll be 15 weeks and if the baby’s not shy, we might be able to take a look. But if this baby is as stubborn as its big brother,” Dr. Johnson chuckled. “We won’t know for a while. Anything else I can do for you?”

“I think that is about it,” I grinned.

“Well then, I’m off. I’ll print those photos for you and Cheryl will bring them in. Have a good rest of the day you two,” the doctor smiled, standing up.

Matt followed him quickly, shaking the man’s hand, “Thank you, Dr. Johnson.”

Nodding, Dr. Johnson smiled, “I’ll see you guys in a couple of weeks.”

Matt sighed loudly as the door to the exam room closed behind the doctor, “This is so unreal.”

I chuckled softly, pulling Matt over, “Thank you.”

“For what?” Matt questioned, confused.

I kissed his thin lips, mesmerized by the perfect man in front of me, “For giving me the family I’ve always dreamed of.”