She Will Be Loved

I ran so fast down to the shore, Erik running beside me. Everyone else was a little bit behind us, or a lot. I was smiling and laughing so hard! I hadn’t ever seen Erik so happy, or competitive.
“I’m gonna beat you!!” He taunted. I laughed so hard it was hard to keep running. We got into the sand and I tackled him.
“I beat you.” I boasted playfully. He smiled and laughed again. His laugh made me think there was no other place but Paradise. I rolled off of him and into the sand. He sprung up and dragged me through the sand. “Erik!! What are you doing!?” I screamed while laughing.
“I’m going to drown you! Mwahahaha!” I was laughing so much that I couldn’t protest. I caught my breath finally.
“No! Erik!” I said through my giggling. “I still have my shorts on!!” I squealed as we drifted toward my “watery grave”. I swear Erik can be so childish sometimes!
It was a nice day. So we all decided to go to the beach. The sun shined down on us and made the water sparkle. The ocean was beautiful. I love it. Nicky and Amber run down the beach shouting and laughing. Marcus and Charlotte are walking with butterflies in the grass. Erik dropped my head in the water and said “hah!” and he went and joined Michele and James in annoying the seagulls. I got up out of the water and laughed. I sat down in the sand with Lizzy. She was watching Johnny chase the waves.
“He’s easily amused isn’t he?” I was still smiling.
“Oh yeah.” There was an awkward silence between us for a moment. “So James said you guys talked. He was glad that you opened up finally instead of keeping everything in that shell of yours.” My heart sank a little. Had he told her what I told him? It’s okay if he did… I just kind of didn’t want to talk about myself right now.
“Did he tell you anything?” I asked worriedly. I was afraid of if she’d judge me.
“Only bits and pieces. It’s okay you can trust me.” Liz said it calmly. Like she had known before-hand.
“I’m not worried that you’d tell anyone…” my voice was sad, uncertain. She understood what I meant.
“Joslin, I’m not going to judge you. Just ask James. He’s gone through some things you are. His dad left him when he turned seven and his mom was never home. When she was home she was drunk.” Like mine… “When he was thirteen up until he moved out, she would get drunk with him and they’d get high every night. They used a lot of drugs. Weed, shrooms, and ecstasy. Mostly it was Opium.” She must have seen my clueless stare. “Opium is like weed except stronger and smells and tastes like incense. Either way, he didn’t care much for shrooms or ecstasy, but he loved the weed and opium. She ruined his high school life. Pretty soon, she made him push her drugs at his school during his third year. He hated his mom for what she made him, and he used to cut himself every morning while he was sober. If you look really hard you can still see that faint scars.”
“Wow… I never knew…” My voice was fading.
“I didn’t know him then. But it was hard for him. I didn’t know how much it hurt but I knew it did when he told me. We found out last month that his dad died in a car crash twelve years ago. He wants to go find his mom, but he’s afraid to. He’s afraid she’ll still be like that… and that she’ll only hurt him again. But James is happy now...” I never thought James would be one to be afraid. I never thought he’d be one to sulk, or cut. Yet again, if I looked at myself and I didn’t know me or my story, I guess I wouldn’t think of myself that way either. James and I were more alike than I thought. I saw a double rainbow then as I looked up. Maybe it’s a sign that I found where I’m supposed to be, maybe now I’ll be happy. I know it’s not always rainbows and butterflies no matter who you are, but right now, it sure seemed like that. All rainbows and butterflies.