Dark Dreams

We grew back together. Loki, me, Leroy……I’ve been getting such much sleep, Leroy’s been so happy with his father, Loki and I pretty happy to, I mean, every time I see him its like a breathe of fresh air. I’m so relived of my stressful day at work or school. Loki…he changed, he really didn’t mean what he said, he really is sorry and I cant help but forgive him. Having him leave me alone…what I did…how I felt when he was away killed me…It showed me that I really DO love him. I mean…sure we havent even had sex from when Leroy was made but…We get so close until Leroy or something ruins it, not trying to be mean, I just really want a day to ourselves. Just me and Loki…dinner or something I don’t care…hes so warm and nice. He’s been rubbing my stomach quiet a bit lately. I don’t know why but…no no….theres no way he wants another, theres no fucking way I’m going threw all that pain again!!
“Ugh…” I lay on the couch
“Whats wrong mommy?”
“Oh god I’m just tired…”
“Why?”
“Because I’ve been working really hard”
“Why?”
“Because I need money to pay for things for you and me”
“Why?”
“Because we need cloths and food”
“Why?”
“…Because we will get cold and we will starve and then we will die”
“Why?”
I see Leroy crack a smile and trying not to laugh. He’s playing the ‘Why Game’. I pick him up and swing him around. I drop him on my chest and he giggles
“Hehehe!! I love you mommy…..”
“I love you to Leroy”
“Hey mommy?”
“Yes?”
“Can we move in with daddy?”
Leroy’s eyes grow big and wide. I know he wants me to say yes
“Leroy no…not now”
“But…why???”
“Well I’m in a great point in school and my job, I’m working my butt off why would I just drop it?”
Leroy pouts
‘But your always tired, your always gone, and your never happy!! If we lived with daddy we could have whatever we want! You wouldn’t have to work, you wouldn’t be tired, you’d be with me and daddy and never have to leave!!!” He cries
I pull him into my lap and rock him gently
“Leroy listen…just nows not the time sweetie! And you would get bored spending all day with me”
“I would never get bored with you!!! You, me and daddy, we could all be a real family! Bardroy could be in it to!!!”
I sigh and turn off the tv, sitting Leroy down I walk to the kitchen and slit my wrist with a kitchen knife. I watch as the blood oozes down arm and into a bowl. After the bowl is fill I let myself bleed for a while into a mixing bowl. I watch Leroy pout in his chair
“Leroy eat sweetie please…it takes a lot out of me to make you food…”
Leroy looks up and starts to eat. I sit down after I’ve drined the blood from my arms and wrapped the wound.
“Maybe one day Leroy we can live with daddy, I promise”
“Really? Promise?”
“I swear on my life”
He smiles again. After he finishes eating I give him a bath and send him off to bed.
“Daddy will be here in a little while ok?”
“Ok…”
I go to take my own bath, I light a few candles and relax.
“Poor Leroy…Its been so hard after his little wing incident…”
“He’s not the same eh?”
I look to the door, a shirt less Loki leans on the door frame. Chains cover his shredded pants and spiked boots. He smiles at me
“yep…from that night he’s been happy but I know he’s sad…I have people being concered over that night, my parents are getting nosey in my room…I cant take it”
He looks at the celling and frowns. His chains lightly hitting the door frame.
“I know……its not getting safe for him here…”
“…I hate to say it but…ugh”
I splash my face with water. Loki walks over and rests on the tub. He runs his hands threw my hair.
“What is it? Tell me cause I think I already have an idea of what it is”
“…That maybe…you take Leroy to live with you…”
“I knew it….”
“Don’t think I’m a bad mother or hes being a burden but Its not safe any more…for me two…I’ve been so tired and drained from feeding him…”
“I’m not saying you’re a bad mother, I just…I’ve been thinking about it, do you think he would be happy?”
“Hell yes…he keeps baggering me about moving in with you, he did it just today again…that’s like the hundreth time he’s asked me in the past three days!”
I run my fingers down Loki’s face
“I still can’t believe you wont move in with me…”
“Shhh….” I say and kiss him
“I promised him one day I would…knowing him he wont ever forget.”
Loki half smiles for a second. He reaches his hand into the water and crawls all over my legs. I wince when he rubs his fingers on my chit.
“Loki…why?”
“Because…I like it…I love you and I love your body right with mines”
I blush and close my legs.
“Loki will you take him?”
“Of course I will Lexi but don’t get mad at me when he begs harder for you to live with us”
“At least you wont be alone”
“I’m never alone as long as I have my family to come home to”
“You always will…when you left Loki…it made me relize how much I love you….how much I truly love you”
“Oh Lexi!”
He hugs me and kisses me, he’s crying. I smile and get out, packing all of Leroy’s stuff into a bag. Loki comes back down from the attic with Leroy in his arms, he sheepishly rubs his eyes. Still asleep
“Mommy whats going on…”
‘Your going to live with daddy ok sweetie?”
Tears flow from my eyes just thinking about him leaving, but its for my son’s safety
“…Mmmhhmmmm……”
He falls asleep in Loki’s arms. I kiss Leroy on the head, smiling and tears still falling.
“Take good care of him please…”
“Lexi…he’s our only son….of course Ill take care of him”
I grab Loki by the hands and kiss him on the lips again, this time I smile widly and even tho I’m a tad scared of what he might say.
“He might not be your only son for long…”
Loki glares at me a bit, confused, not angry
“Wha…what are you saying?”
“Loki….”
I rub Leroys head and hold Loki’s hand tighter and tighter. He looks me in the eyes, a little
“I’m pregnant!!!”