If You Only Knew

Kaley's POV

It took Leah a full ten minutes to finally pull me away from the curb where I remained frozen in place, mouth gaping open and cheeks flushed. She finally got my feet moving by alerting me to the fact that we still had to go pay our rent. I allowed her to lead me into the building and up the stairs to our floor (the elevator was broken for the fifth time this month).

As soon as we entered our apartment, I sank down in a numb stupor on the couch as Leah scrambled around behind me, collecting our rent.

"Ok, I got it all," her voice came from behind me. I was still too stunned to turn around.

"Fine," she sighed. I could picture her shoulders slumping. "I'll go take it myself, I guess..." I listened to her cross the apartment. The door opened and then closed again with a resounding click, and I was left in silence, alone with my thoughts.

He knows, is all I can think. He knows... and he practically laughed at me... He doesn't like me back... I buried my head in my hands. He saw the picture, he knows that I like him, and he practically laughed at me! To say that I was embarrassed would be an understatement. I was mortified.

"Kaley!" Leah's sharp voice made me look up, to which I was rewarded with a hard slap across the face.

"Leah!" I exclaimed, quickly cupping my hands to my stinging cheek.

"I had to snap you out of your funk," she shrugged, starting to walk away.

"Where are you going?" I demanded, still angry that she had slapped me.

"To make breakfast," she stated casually as she headed towards the kitchen. "I'm hungry. Do you want anything?"

"Two eggs, please," I sighed, standing up and following her to the kitchen. "I'll do the toast since mine is apparently 'exceptionally good'."

"There's my Kaley," Leah smiled, opening the fridge and pulling out the carton of eggs. I was glad that she was happy, but I couldn't help the heavy feeling weighing down my heart and as I placed the bread slices in the toaster, I found my mind wandering to thoughts of Darren, wondering what he was thinking about now.

Darren's POV

I couldn't stop thinking about her. I found myself smiling as I pictured her reaction over and over again in my mind. How her jaw had dropped as we drove away. She had looked so cute just standing there in shock. I had watched her as we drove away, her silhouette quickly shrinking and finally disappearing as we rounded a corner heading back to the hotel.

We quickly arrived back at the hotel, going back down to the parking garage again as the hotel front was still occupied by reporters and photographers, who again pointed at our limo excitedly as we passed by and snapped pointless pictures of our tinted windows.

"Thanks, Steven," I smiled as I got out of the vehicle. "You can take the rest of the day off. We're just going to stay in, I think."

"If you're sure, Mister Criss? Mister Colfer?" he seemed reluctant to be dismissed so soon.

"Yes, thank you, Steven," Chris smiled at him through the rolled down window. "Go spend time with your family. Enjoy your afternoon. We'll be fine."

"Very well then," Steven nodded. "See you in the morning then. Good day, Mister Criss. Mister Colfer." We turned away and entered the elevator as he drove away, quickly arriving on our own floor. Chris claimed the bathroom as soon as we got back to our room, stating that he had to fix his hair, so I was left standing alone in the middle of our room.

What to do... I wondered. My eyes suddenly caught on the black guitar case leaning up against the wall and I smiled as new lyrics suddenly flooded my mind. I quickly pulled out my notebook and jotted them down, reading over everything on the page once I had finished. I had started working on this song almost a week ago and now It was almost done.

I grabbed the case and quickly opened it, pulling out my deep blue, acoustic guitar. I sat down on the bed and sat the guitar comfortably on my knee, ready to strum it. But I stopped myself as I heard Chris' musical voice slip through the walls. He was singing Titanium. I couldn't help but stop and listen to him as he sang.

I'm bulletproof, nothing to lose
Fire away, fire away
Ricochet, you take your aim
Fire away, fire away
You shoot me down, but I won't fall
I am titanium
You shoot me down, but I won't fall
I am titanium

I smiled as he started to sing one of the verses, finally breaking myself from his spell.

I don't want to disturb him, I decided, getting up and strapping my guitar to my back. With my notebook in hand and guitar on my back, I quietly slipped out the door, in search of a quiet place to play.

Kaley's POV

"Should I change it?" I asked Leah. My phone was lying face up on the table, the picture of Darren illuminated on the screen.

"Why?" she laughed. "If he knows, he knows. There's nothing you can do to change that. And honestly? In my opinion, it's a way over due revelation."

"What do you mean?" I demanded. "I've known Darren personally for a week. A week, for crying out loud! Do you really go and confess all of your feelings to the person that you like after only a week of knowing them? I don't recall you spilling your feelings to Chris."

"That's because you did it for me," she retorted, sending me a slight glare. I just rolled my eyes.

"Yes, but that's only cause I wanted to give you the best birthday present that you could ever get!" I exclaimed. "Besides, you loved it and it made you and Chris closer than ever before! Darren practically laughed at me because he's on my home screen. Yeah, that's totally shouting 'I love you' now, isn't it."

"Kaley!" Leah laughed. "Chill! You're getting too worked up over this!"

"You didn't just have your heart basically squashed," I grumbled.

"Don't make me slap you again," she warned. "Because I will. And Kaley, you don't even know how he feels. You get defensive and bit- and very snarky when your nervous. Maybe he gets giggly when he's nervous. Just don't jump to conclusions, okay?"

"You're right," I sighed.

"I know," she smirked, to which I rolled my eyes again.

"Maybe I am overreacting," I slowly picked up my phone and looked at the screen again.

"You think?" I could hear the laughter in her voice.

"Oh shush, you!" I laughed, not able to stay upset. Leah's happiness was infectious.

"Why are you so perky?" I asked her, giving her a suspicious look. She gave me an innocent look as she shrugged in return, trying to act like she didn't know what I was talking about.

"Leah..." I added a warning tone to my voice, demanding that she told me what she was up to.

"Chris just told me that he got me a birthday present!" she squealed, unable to keep her secret any longer. "Well, technically he got both of us a birthday present, but still! And he won't tell me what it is!"

"A birthday present?" I echoed her words. "He never mentioned anything about getting us something."

"He said that he wasn't sure when it was going to come in, so he didn't want to say anything until it arrived, knowing that it would drive me, and him, crazy not knowing what it was." As if to prove her words, she proceeded to show me the text on her screen from Chris.

Chris: Hey Leah, I've got an extra surprise birthday gift for you and Kaley. It just arrived, but I knew if I told you about it when I ordered it that it would drive you nuts (which in turn would drive me nuts), so ya! It just arrived and I cannot wait to see your reactions!

"I wonder what it could be..." I said as I finished reading the text.

"I know, right?" Leah exclaimed, slightly upset. "He's right. It would have drove me nuts because it's already driving me nuts now!"

"Of course he waits to tell you until we're home where I'm the one who's going to be driven insane by you!" I teased, earning myself a glare from her.

"Excuse me while I go give Mister Secret-Pants a call," she said, standing up and walking away from the table as she put her phone to her ear. As she closed the door to her room behind her, I could hear her say, "Hi, Chris." I chuckled to myself as I started to collect our empty plates. Leah could be relentless with secrets. She hated having to wait for surprises.

After placing the dirty dishes in the sink, I decided to go to my own room and try my luck at writing something. I closed the door behind me so that Leah couldn't sneak up on me, before sitting down in the chair at my desk. I opened my computer and was immediately attacked with multiple alerts. I hadn't had time to come on my computer in the past little while, being so busy with the show, so I had missed all of the update alerts from some of the sites that I was subscribed to.

The first alert that i clicked on brought me to an article about Darren's break up.

Already knew that, I chuckled to myself as I clicked on the next article. This one was from a fan website. It also talked about the break up and that fact that Darren was now single and available.

Maybe not for long, I smiled to myself, though I quickly pushed these thoughts away. Stop it. You don't know how he feels about you. I tried to ignore my thoughts as I clicked on the next alert. This one made my heart skip a beat. It was the article that I had read on my phone this morning. I didn't want to look at it again, already knowing what it said, so I hurriedly clicked on the next alert, instantly regretting it seconds later. What I saw almost made my heart stop completely.

Under a very bright and detailed picture of Darren, me, Chris, and Leah in the elevator was the caption: Glee stars caught in the act! Mystery girls finally revealed!

I felt a groan escape my lips as I reluctantly continued reading the rest of the article.

Saturday, June 28, 2012. 3:08pm

A breaking discovery was made in the Criss/Colfer girls mystery when the two Glee stars were caught leaving their hotel with the two girls that they had enter the building with late last night. Inside sources were able to confirm that the two girls did spend the night in the stars' bedroom, not emerging again until after 2:30pm the following day.

Moments after leaving the hotel, Criss released a tweet stating that he is "not with anyone & neither is Chris. [They] were just hanging out with [their] friends." If hanging out with friends involve an overnighter in their bedroom, it is safe to say that every girl wants to be friends with Criss and Colfer now.

One thing that we still don't know is who these mystery girls are. They've never been seen on the red carpet before and even Peterson (Criss' ex) did not recognize them.

"I've never seen them before in my life," says Peterson. "But I will soon."

I stopped reading after that statement. What did she mean by "I will soon"? I felt sick to my stomach and couldn't bare to read anymore of the article, so I clicked on the last alert instead. And what I found did not make me feel any better. Instead, it made me feel ten times worse.

This website was Vanessa's personal fan site. The only reason that I had subscribed to it in the first place was to get updates on Darren. I mentally made a note to myself to remove my subscription from this page. But right now I couldn't do that. I was too stunned by all of the comments on the page in front of me.

Lily A.: Whoever she is, she's fat and unpretty and totally not worthy of Darren!

Brianna P.: Did you see how she was clutching onto Darren's shirt? What a freak!

Luke J.: Vanessa is totally hotter than her! I can't believe Darren has sunk so low. She's totally unworthy of him!

Mae C.: She's totally wearing the same clothes from last night! What a slut!

Kelly W.: Oh my gosh! I totally know her! We went to high school together! Her name's Kaley Grant. The other girl is Leah Tanner. You're welcome! :) ps totally knew that she was a whore!

When I read that comment, I finally broke down crying. I had been holding it in for as long as I could as I read over their hateful comments, but that was before they knew who I was. Now they did.

I pushed myself away from the computer and threw myself on my bed as I continued to cry. Sobs slipped from my lips as their words danced around in my head.

Fat. Unpretty. Freak. Slut. Whore.

Unworthy.

Darren's POV

I finally found a quiet place to play. It was an empty banquet hall. The tables were pushed off to the sides and the chairs were all stacked up along the edges of the room. I gently strummed my guitar and smiled as the sound echoed through the room. The acoustics in this room were amazing!

I gently set my guitar down on one of the tables for a moment as I pulled a chair off of one of the stacks. Within seconds, I was sitting in the chair, gently strumming my guitar, with my notebook open on the table beside me.

Now that I was completely alone, new lyrics seemed to flow even easier, and I soon found myself with a finished song on the table. I looked over the words a couple more times before I finally worked up the courage to actually try to sing the song. The words were all so personal and meaningful to me that I was afraid to sing them, afraid to admit them.

But I finally did begin to sing it, gently strumming my guitar as the words began to slip from my lips. I didn't need to look at my notebook. I already knew the words by heart.

Say, wasn't that a funny day?
Gee, you had a funny way, a way about you
A kind of glow of something new

Sure, I'll admit that I'm the same
Another sucker for a game kids like to play
And the rules they like to use

Don't you want the way I feel?
Don't you want the way I feel?
Don't you want the way I feel for you?

The sun telling me the night is done
Well I refuse to let it stop our fun
Close your eyes, we'll make it dark again

And kiss, there's a thought so how 'bout this?
Let's pretend that both our lips are made of candy
After all, we need sweets every now and then

Don't you want the way I feel?
Don't you want the way I feel?
Don't you want the way I feel for you?

Here we are, two strangers in a very different place
Who knows what could happen to us next?
Here we are with nothing but this little spark
It's too cold outside to lay this fire to rest

Go? How so very apropos
A goodbye just as soon as I said hello
Well, alright, I'll see you later

It's true, it's just a fantasy for two
But what's the difference if it all could have been true?
I guess this is better

But don't you want the way I feel?
Don't you want the way I feel?
Don't you want the way I feel for you?

Oh, don't you want the way I feel?
Don't you want the way I feel?
Don't you want the way I feel for you?

Don't you want the way that I feel for you?

"I knew it!" His sudden voice made me jump. I looked up to find a very smug-looking Chris and a very giddy-looking Lea standing in the doorway.

"That was for Kaley, wasn't it," he wasn't really asking it, already being fairly sure of the answer.

"I-I-I," I stuttered, at a loss for words.

"I'm right, aren't I." There was that smug look again.

"You and Kaley!" Lea squealed. "You guys would totally make a cute couple!"

"I know, right?" Chris exclaimed. "That's what I've been saying!"

"Guys!" I had to raise my voice to be heard.

"What?" Chris asked, slightly iritated. "We were eeking over your and Kaley's new relationship!"

"A non-existant relationship!" I huffed.

"Not once you sing her that song!" Chris smirked.

"I'm not singing it to her!" I exclaimed, leaving my two friends in shock.

"What do you mean you're not singing to her?!" Chris demanded. "Are you daft?"

"Kaley totally likes you!" Lea argued. "Why won't you just man up and tell her that you like her too!"

"Because I'm scared!" I blurted suddenly, shutting them both up.

"Scared?" Chris echoed the word back to me, confused. "How are you scared?"

"I'm scared that she'll reject me," I admitted. They both gave me a disbelieving look that said, "Are you kidding? You're Darren freaking Criss. Any girl would be foolish to reject you!"

"Are you seriously that blind?!" Chris exclaimed. "You two have been flirting relentlessly all week! Everyone has noticed! Heck, even Ryan has noticed! Just tell her how you feel already!"

"...Okay, I'll do it," I sighed after a minute.

"Finally!" Chris exclaimed, throwing his hands in the air.

"Here, do you want to use my phone?" Lea offered, holding out her phone to me.

"Now?" I sputtered.

"There's no time like the present!" she smiled. With a sigh, I reluctantly took the phone. I slowly punched in her number, which I had memorized by now, and held the phone up to my ear. I was shaking inside and I could feel my stomach churn as I waited for her to pick up.

One ring. Two rings. Three rings. Still no answer. Finally, after the fifth ring, there was a click and a familiar voice flooded through my ear.

"Hey, this is Kaley. Sorry I can't come to the phone right now, but if you leave your name and number and a short message, I'll get back to you as soon as I can. Wait for the beep!"

"Hey, Kaley, it's Darren," I started to say after the beep echoed in my ear. "I, umm, I was wondering if you, maybe, wanted to, umm, grab a coffee or something tomorrow morning... oh wait, you don't drink coffee... umm... tea! You like tea, right? We could get some tea or if you want something else we could get that... oh crap, I'm rambling! Ummm, so yeah, tomorrow morning... I, uh, kinda have something that I want to, uh, talk to you about... umm, so yeah, I guess I'll see you tomorrow? Ok, bye." I hit end call, my hands slightly shaking. When I looked back at my friends, I found them staring at me with amused expressions.

"What?" I asked.

"You really are scared, aren't you!" Chris laughed. "You, Darren Criss, are scared to tell a girl that you like her!" I felt my cheeks flush with unwanted heat.

"Oh, Chris, stop it!" Lea laughed, playfully slapping his arm. "You're making him blush!"

"Here," I handed Lea back her phone as I stood up and started to collect my stuff.

"Where are you going?" she asked.

"Away from you two," I retorted as I started to walk away. "Before you mortify me further!"

"Oh, come on!" Chris exclaimed, grabbing my arm to stop me. "We were just teasing!"

"Please don't go," Lea pleaded, grabbing my other arm. "Please come back and sit down. Tell us more about Kaley."

"But you both already know her," I replied.

"But not as well as you do," she argued. "I want to know why you like her so much, why you're so nervous to tell her your feelings. I've never seen you like this before."

"Alright," I sighed. "But not here. Let's go back to our room. We don't know who could be listening here." They both agreed and followed me out of the room and back to our own. Once we were settled on the beds, me on mine and Lea and Chris on his, they started bantering me with questions.

"So, when did you know that you liked her?" Lea asked, her eyes wide and eager as she watched for my reaction. I smiled as I thought about the moment.

"It was actually at the bar," I admitted. "When I heard her singing. It just all clicked into place, I guess. I realized that she was the one that I was looking for, not some mystery singer. I was just using that as an excuse to not admit to my feelings for Kaley."

"Awwww!" Lea and Chris cooed together. I rolled my eyes and shook my head at them.

"So, what makes her different?" Lea asked. Chris just sat back, allowing Lea to take the lead in question-asking since he already knew Kaley pretty well.

"Different?" I echoed back. "What do you mean?"

"What makes her different from other girls that you've liked?" she smiled. "Why are you so nervous to tell her how you feel, when you've never had trouble doing so before?"

"I guess it's because she really is different," I replied after a moment's thought. "I've never met anyone like her before. She's not like any girl I've ever dated before."

"It's because she's Canadian," I heard Chris whisper to Lea.

"No," I rolled my eyes at his comment. "That doesn't have anything to do with it... unless you connect it to why she's so sweet and polite... They say that Canadians are polite, right? I don't know. She just makes me feel so... giddy. I just like everything about her... her smile, her laugh, her eyes... she has beautiful eyes. Sometimes when the light hits them, they look golden, but then other times, they almost look green."

"Ok, it's official," Chris declared suddenly. "You, my friend, are head over heels for Kaley. You don't spend that much time staring at a girl's eyes unless you're falling hard for her... You really do like her, don't you."

"I do," I smiled.

"Well then," Chris smiled mischievously as he turned to look at Lea. "It looks like we've got a new mission."

"Mission?" I asked, but they just ignored me.

"Ready to play Cupid?" Chris asked her, to which she smiled and nodded. "Then it's time to put Operation Get-Kaley-And-Darren-Together-Part-Two into motion!"

Cupid? I wasn't totally sure what they were going on about and it took a couple of seconds for all of their words to sink in, and when they did, I felt even more puzzled and confused than I did before.

...Part two?