Messy Ending

The world spun around me. I could feel my heart in my throat and tears stinging my eyes. How could I be so stupid?

The incessant ringing that sounded in my ears wasn’t loud enough to entirely block out the conversation that Ben and this girl whose name was Ali were having. “What are you doing here? You’re not supposed to be back until after Christmas,” Ben’s voice said to the side of me.

“Dad’s recovery sped up and… I missed you. Clearly you didn’t miss me.” The girl pointedly shot a glare at me, clearly unaware of the fact that my world was crashing down around me. “When did you pick her up? The day I left?” she asked him dryly.

“Leave her out of this,” Ben demanded, pain clear in his voice.

“I thought you were the love of my life, you asshole. Apparently I was very mistaken.” Ben was about to say something, but she cut him off. “Go to Hell, Ben and stay the fuck out of my life!” she shouted, storming out of the bedroom.

Ben didn’t speak again until we both heard the front door slam. “Dai…”

“Save it,” I warned him, scrambling out of the bed once I was capable of movement. I searched in the dark, the only light being the glow the moon provided through the window, for my clothes.

“Dai, I’m so fucking sorry. I never meant to hurt you ever,” Ben pled, moving toward me on his knees while he covered his lower half in a sheet.

“If that were true you wouldn’t have convinced me to give you a chance when you obviously weren’t available and then trick me into falling in love with you when you don’t give a fuck about me!” I screamed, dressing in my discarded clothing.

“I do love you, Dai. I love you so fucking much.”

“Don’t lie to me!” Tears began flooding out of my eyes, the dam finally breaking and not holding the salt water back any longer. “If you loved me I would be your one and only, not the one to keep you company when your girlfriend is gone.” I was now fully dressed, the only thing missing was my uniform and phone. They were both downstairs, I realized.

“Dai, please. Don’t leave me. I love you.” If I didn’t know any better I would say that Ben was sobbing.

“Remember all those fights about ‘I love you more’? Guess I won… huh? I never wanna see you again, Ben,” I growled at him, sprinting out of the room. It didn’t take long to locate my items and I was out of Ben’s house in the chilly night air, the door slamming behind me so that he’d know I was gone. Out of his life.

I stopped in the driveway for a second, appraising the sight of my car parked next to Ben’s. I couldn’t be certain of my driving capabilities at the moment so I kept running down the street, trying to put as much distance between me and that house as possible. When I was a good enough distance away, a gas station about a half mile away from Ben’s actual house, I pulled out my phone and dialed a familiar number.

“Dai? What’s wrong?” Danny’s voice came over the line, concerned.

“Danny,” I sniffled. “Is Sammi with you?”

“No, I actually went home for a change. Are you crying? What’s going on?”

“Good. Don’t mention this to her right now. I don’t trust my abilities to drive and I need you to come and get me. I’ll explain everything when you get here.”

“Of course. Where are you? Are you still at Ben’s?”

“N… no.” I used the back of my hand to wipe away the tears flowing steadily from me eyes. “I’m at that gas station down the street from Ben’s house. Please hurry, Danny.” Now I regretted that I didn’t have a jacket as shivers coursed through my body.

“I’ll be there as soon as possible, Dai,” he promised, ending the phone call.

Once my phone was put away in the pocket of my shorts, I surveyed my surroundings. Things were pretty sketchy about this gas station in broad daylight, the dark of night only amplified that feeling. The place was open twenty four hours, though pretty vacant at this hour. The lights overhead , illuminating the gas pumps, flickered, eerily. My phone informed me that it was well past midnight, which was not exactly the perfect time to be alone at a seemingly vacant and sketchy gas station.

Danny’s apartment wasn’t further than five minutes from Ben’s, but for the time being I seated myself on one of the curbs surrounding a gas pump, cuddling into myself to protect from the cold breeze. I let my face fall into my hands, feeling warm tears landing on my palms.

How could Ben have done this to me? He convinced me to be with him when he damn well knew he had a girlfriend and on top of that he made me fall in love with him, just to add a little extra to the already painful blow.

The sound of tires on the cement made me look up. Relief buzzed through me when I recognized Danny's black Mercedes. He was out of the car and wrapping his jacket around me the second he put the car in park. Before he even said anything he ushered me into his backseat and instead of going to the front seat he sat beside me. “Tell me what happened, Dai.”

“Ben,” I managed to choke out through my escalating sobs. “He had another girlfriend the entire time he was with me.” My voice quivered, breaking up my words as my body racked with more sobs. “She walked in on us having sex!”

“Oh, Dai,” Danny murmured. He pulled me in close to his chest and allowed my warm tears to soak his shirt.

“God, I’m such a fucking idiot,” I sobbed into Danny’s chest.

Danny took me by the shoulders and pulled me apart from him to look me in the eyes. His eyes scanned over my tear stained face. “Don’t you dare talk like that, Dai,” he told me very seriously. “You aren’t an idiot. Ben is just an asshole. Understand?” Once I nodded, he pulled me back into his arms to soothe me. A good twenty minutes probably passed before he spoke again. “Would you like me to drive you home?”

I looked up at him. “What about my car?” I rasped.

“Sammi and I will come for it tomorrow. We’ll have a little… talk with Ben, okay?” One of his hands moved up to push some of my tangled hair to the side.

A ghost of a smile twitched my lips a little and I slowly nodded my head. “Okay. Just take me home, please Danny.” Whatever smile that had crossed my lips quickly faded. I couldn’t even fake being happy right now nor did I want to.

Without another word he released me to climb, clumsily over the console that separated the driver’s seat from the backseats. His sizable body made the sight particularly funny. Not that he was completely fat or anything, but he was far too big to fit over the console easily or comfortably for that matter.

Finally he did plop into the driver’s seat and ignite the car to drive me home.

On the way to my apartment Danny passed by Ben’s house. A light in a window on the second floor was on, I knew that room to be his bedroom. It illuminated the two cars parked in his driveway. Other than that there was no sign of life in the house. The sight of the house alone sent me into another round of tears, nonetheless.

“Damn it,” I heard Danny mutter. “I should have went the other way.”

The rest of the ride I cried into my hands. Memories of Ben and I together floated through my mind. All the times he made me feel special and like the most loved girl on Earth made me miss him already. I knew I wouldn’t be able to get to sleep easily with him gone.

“Dai,” Danny broke my thoughts with a gentle voice. “We’re here.” He turned back to look at me.

Wiping away a few tears, only to have them replaced, I stumbled out of Danny’s car. Danny hopped out of the car and rushed to my side, scooping me up in his arms.

He managed to carry me all the way up to my apartment. Sammi was sitting on the couch watching some shitty sitcom on the television when her boyfriend pushed open the door, still carrying me in his arms. She was laughing at something on the TV, but her smile faltered when she looked up at Danny and I.

“What happened to her?” She jumped up and rushed to my side the second Danny set me on my feet.

“Ben,” Danny responded for me, brushing his hand through my disheveled hair.

“What did that asshat do to her?!” she seethed; wrapping her slender arms around my body and pulling me close against her body in a comforting embrace.

Danny caught a glimpse of my face almost as if asking permission to tell her what had happened. Of course, I nodded, not wanting to go through it again. “Ben had a girlfriend the entire time,” he murmured, but then he seemed to debate whether or not he should release any more information to her. Eventually he decided to and continued with, “Her name is Ali. She’s been up in Oregon visiting with her family for the past couple months…”

That was shocking information. I couldn’t help but feel somewhat betrayed. Danny had become like an older brother to me and he doesn’t tell me that my boyfriend is cheating on me? “Did… did you know about this Danny?” I queried, in a breaking voice.

He didn’t meet my eyes. He sighed, casting his eyes to the floor. “He promised he wouldn’t hurt you, Dai. I thought he would break up with her. I’m so sorry, Dai. I should have let you know.”

For a second I didn’t respond. I didn’t know how. Finally I came to the conclusion that he wasn’t in the wrong. All of this was Ben’s fault and I told him that. “No. Don’t apologize. This was Ben’s fault. Not yours. Thanks for bringing me home Danny, but I think I’m just gonna go to bed. Goodnight, you guys.” I wasn’t sure how well I would sleep, but I could try. I left them staring after me as I disappeared into my room.

Once the door shut behind me, I looked around the room. The shirt that I’d worn to bed the night before, Ben’s shirt, lay in the exact messy pile on the floor that I left it this morning. I stared at it for a single moment before I threw it across the room and proceeded to dress in my own pajamas.

I shut off my light and in the pitch black darkness made my way to my bed. I just laid there. I was right. Getting to sleep without Ben would be difficult. The events of the night flashed through my mind, every gruesome one of them.

Beside my bed I always kept a small trashcan, I hovered over the trashcan and emptied the contents of my stomach into it. I wiped the back of my hand across my mouth and laid in bed a couple more hours before unconsciousness finally dragged me into a dreamless sleep.