Screaming in Silence

I was confused. I had told Zach that I never wanted to see him again and, normally, people listened when I said that. I thought that after all these years, Zach would be the least likely person to fight for me, but that doesn't mean it's going to get him anywhere. After everything I'd been through I wasn't about to let myself be hurt again when Zach just ups and leaves once again, and I know he will.

On the plus side of Zach's appearance, Tony was hardly ever around. His face was hilarious when he walked into the house about ten minutes after I had when I saw Zach and his friends in my house.

"Who the fuck are you?" Tony hilariously squeaked, trying but failing to act macho in front of the huge, tattooed strangers.

"I'm Zach, who the fuck are you?" Zach spat back, trying and succeeding to act macho in front of the greasy, weak asshole.

"Zach as in..." Tony said, realisation hitting.

"As in, Beth's sister. As in, Serena's son. As in, the dude that's gonna kick your weak little ass if I find out you laid a single finger on my baby sister," Zach growled. I hadn't even told him that it was Tony that was had been abusing me, but Zach always had been quite smart and it wasn't difficult to figure out. "By the way, meet my friends Matt, Brian, Johnny and Jimmy, the other dudes that'll pummel you the moment you step out of line," the other guys just nodded slightly as their names were called, calm yet terrifying looks on their faces. Suddenly my 'don't mess with me' look seemed laughable. Tony's expression was too. You could tell he didn't know what to say or do, he just stood in the doorway with his mouth opening and closing like a goldfish. I didn't know what to do either, Tony had never been speechless. But he soon gathered himself together.

"I don't know what you're talking about, Beth and I are brilliant friends!" Tony laughed, slinging his filthy arm around my shoulder.

"Yeah, right. Beth, can we talk?" Zach asked me, brushing off Tony's blatant lie.

I shook my head in response and walked upstairs to my room. I wasn't talking to him, I had told him to leave me alone so I had said everything I needed to. I casually wandered up to my bedroom and shut the door. I couldn't lock it anymore because my mother had taken all the locks off my door after my suicide attempt. I heard Zach follow me up.

"Beth, there are loads of things that we still need to talk about," Zach pressed on. I said nothing. "Beth please talk to me," he begged just as Tony walked past my door.

"Didn't you get the memo dude? The little freak- I mean, Beth hasn't spoken a word since you abandoned her," he sniggered and walked away.

"But you spoke to me earlier?" he said through the door. "Beth... was that true? When you spoke to me earlier, was that the first time you had spoken since I left?" his voice was soft, he was scared of my answer, or the lack of. I made no attempt to answer his question and heard him sigh in desperation. "Beth, please open the door!"

Zach tried the handle but I leaned all my weight on the door so he couldn't come in. He kept pushing and pushing, but I wasn't letting him in. He sighed again.

"Fine, you won't let me in but I can talk to you out here."

I heard him shuffle around outside and sit down on the floor.

"Do you remember when we were little, I think you were about three, and I took you to the beach for the first time?" he paused, I did remember. "Well you were absolutely terrified of the water and you refused to go in. But do you remember what made you go in the sea in the end?" I let my mind really think about that day.

"Bethy-Bear, there's nothing to be worried about. It's just like a big bathtub and you're not scared of the bathtub are you?" Zacky asked me softly, kneeling down next to my shivering three year old self, dressed in an adorable pink bathing suit and huge inflatable armbands. "I'll tell you what, I'll go in and show you that there's nothing to be scared of, all right?" he asked and I nodded.

He jogged a few metres ahead of me and jumped into the sea, splashing and crashing around, diving under the deep blue water. From behind him I saw a giant wave looming closer and closer, threatening to crash down on my brother. My eyes went wide with fear for Zacky. I started waving my hands, trying to get his attention but he simply waved back and a huge grin on his face. Just at that point the wave came crashing down, pushing Zacky deep under the water and out of sight. Without another thought I started running into the terrifying ocean after Zacky. I paddled out to where Zacky had been and just as I did, his head popped back up out of the water.

"Bethy! You're in the water!" he gasped, a huge smile spread across his face.

"I thought you were drowning, I couldn't let you die," I said, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"Aw Beth, you're so cute," he chuckled, pulling me in for a huge. Looking over his shoulder I saw another wave looming ever closer. It wasn't as big as the last one, but it was big enough to make a three year old scream. "What's wrong?" he asked hurriedly. I pointed behind him at what seemed to me like a tidal wave. "Beth I won't let anything hurt you, ok? You trust me right?" he asked me, gripping onto my waist. I nodded. "Good, then close your eyes," he said, turning me to face the wave. I did as I was told and as I heard the wave get closer, I felt myself be lifted into the air and my feet be tickled by the top of the wave. Opening my eyes, I looked down at my dripping wet brother as he gently let me back in the water. "I told you I wouldn't let anything hurt you," I wrapped my arms around his neck and giggled.

For the rest of the day I refused to leave the water. I loved it. Every time a wave approached he'd lift me into the air so I could jump the wave. It was a brilliant day.

"I remember it, even if you don't. You trusted me then, why can't you trust me now?" I heard Zach say from outside my bedroom. "I do love you Beth, so much. I just wish you'd forgive me," he whispered quietly, but I still heard him.