Forever Yours

“Tell me you’re going tomorrow Les.” I could hear Kennedy’s voice on the other line, all hopeful and giddy. “John would’ve been so excited to come.”

I sighed. But he’s not here right now Ken. I wanted to say, but that would’ve been very hurtful especially now that Kennedy’s so thrilled about this Engagement Dinner Party he’s having. Besides, even before he asked Arianna to be his fiancée, he already asked me to come. Well, he asked us to come. “Sure Ken. I wouldn’t miss it.” I say, trying to be a tad bit titillated about it.

“Really?” he says, a bit shock with my answer. “That’s great Leslie! See you there! Arianna would be so excited to see you!”

He hung up.

I’m proud of Kennedy and Arianna. I could vaguely remember how they met during high school. John and I were already together back then. We were high school sweethearts. Well, Arianna went with me to hang out in House of Tricks for dinner, while John also brought Kennedy along. Well, when they met, they sorta clicked. And I guess they’ve been unbreakable ever since.

I smile a genuine smile and looked up at the ceiling. “You’re best man is now the groom John. And my maid of honour’s now the bride.” Then tears came streaming down my face, continuously.



I wore a silver dress with a black thin line just on top with a small black ribbon as well too. I wore black heels and had my hair tied in a small messy bun. I hate dressing up without John around. Before, he would tell me to where this and that, told which looked good and which sucked. In fact, this is my first time I dressed up ever since that day. God, I miss him.

I wore a key necklace that John gave to me. I had a small bronze one while John had a big silver one. Now that he’s... you know, I decided to wear them both in one chain.

Be there in a few. I read Garrett’s text.

Garrett’s picking me up since Kennedy’s the star of this dinner, he couldn’t afford to be away for a minute. He offered to pick me up, but I couldn’t take him away from his lovely bride. I mean this is their wedding. I wouldn’t want to ruin that, could I?

I waited outside my house. One more minute inside, I could’ve changed back to my house clothes and just change my mind about going. So, I shrugged off the temptation and locked the door behind me. Garrett was right, he was gonna be here, in just a few.

“Hey.” He said, going out of his car. “You could’ve waited inside you know.”

I shrug as I walked down the doorsteps. “Nah. It’s fine.”

He opened the door for me, “Thanks.” I said shyly. “You look great by the way.” I added, getting in the car. He smiles timidly.

“You too Les.” He replied, closing the door. He walked to his seat and drove.

The ride was a bit too silent. Garrett and I were so close. We’d laugh and laugh for hours about small things. We were shallow and young. But now, we could barely even keep up with one topic. It felt horrible. I think he was still too concerned that he might bring up John. All our conversations before always had John in it.

“You can talk about him you know.” I say, breaking off the silence, since the convention was still far. And I hate it being awkward between the both us. “I’m okay now.”

He catches a glimpse of me from the mirror. “Yeah?” he smiles weakly. “That’s good. ‘Cause the last time we talked, I brought up John and you cried hysterically non-stop.” He says, jokingly.

I smile, “I’m sorry Gar,” I apologize, my smile still plastered on my face. “I didn’t mean to freak you out. I was just... frustrated and you know, depressed.”

He cracks a laugh. “Freak me out you say? You gave me a trauma!” he gesticulated, making me giggle. “I couldn’t say John’s name for an entire weak. I was scared that you might hear me, even though you weren’t around and was like 5 miles away.”

I chortle. “I’m sorry.”

“Nah. It’s all good.”

I looked at him. I wanted to tell how thank you I am for making me smile after a long time, but then I suddenly realized something. “Hey! You shaved your ridiculously weird beard!”

He rolls his eyes. “Fuck you Les.”

Then we both laughed. But right after the end of the laughter, the whole thing reminded me of John and how we’d chill in Garrett’s car and laugh like this too. We’d laugh at all the things that seemed funny to the three of us. Oh shit, I thought to myself. This is not good. And to think, this is only Garrett. What more if I see Pat, Kennedy, and Jared. What more?

I might not bear the pain.

I shudder. I had no choice.

“We’re here.”