Just So You Know

After the heartbreak of yesterday, I knew I couldn’t stay here. I couldn’t do this and now I worked so hard only to find out my dad was right about me and I’m nothing, and I’ll never be anything. So I booked a flight to New York mostly because I just wanted to get away. The only real solid connection I have to LA is that Jake is here but I don’t love him, I think I just haven’t broken up with him because it’s safe and having a boyfriend is just safe to me I guess.

But I left a note on my door, saying I was leaving and wanted to get away and I didn’t know when or if I’d be back. I packed my bags and headed to the airport and plopped down, waiting for my flight. After an hour or so, they started calling some of the last rows and I was more towards the front so I started to pack my phone and everything in my bag and got ready to board.

”KIRSTIE!” I heard someone yell.

I turned around and saw a lanky frame running and pushing past people. I was stunned to see those green eyes looking at me but he quickly came up to me.

“What are you doing?” He panted as he gained his breath back.

“Leaving,” I sighed.

“But why?” Kendall asked.

“Because I’m nothing, just like my dad said and now I can’t stand this city. Besides, I don’t have any family here or anything keeping me here,” I shrugged.

“What about Jake?” He questioned.

“I don’t love him, I don’t think he loves me either and I know I shouldn’t run away from my problems but I am,” I muttered.

“Kirstie, I would do anything to make you stay, I can’t lose you, but I know I can’t change your mind for you,” Kendall nodded. “So I need to tell you something before you leave.”

I let out a heavy sigh before saying, “Alright Kendall.”

He looked into my eyes and was silent for a minute before starting, “I know I shouldn’t, but I love you Kirstie. I don’t know how to be fine when I’m not and it has killed me seeing you with Jake because you deserve someone who loves you and cares for you. I wish you didn’t listen to those dumb critics, because you are talented. But, I just… I love you Kirstie and I know I shouldn’t and I’ve tried to get rid of it and just be your friend but I can’t and now this feeling is taking control of me.

“I used to think it would be best to just hide my feelings and look the other way but now I know I can’t. I should have told you but I didn’t and then when you got with Jake I thought that when you really love someone, part of that is being able to let them go so that they can be happy but you aren’t. This emptiness is killing me and I'm wondering why I've waited so long and looking back I realize It was always there just never spoken but I’m here, I’m here for you and I always will be. I love you and I don’t know why I decided to tell you now after this long of not telling you but I guess I had to tell you, just so you know,” Kendall finished.

”Last call for rows 1-9” They came over the loudspeaker.

I stood there, completely stunned with tears in my eyes and Kendall had the same tears in his as he just stared and looked at me.

“Ma’am, you need to board now,” A flight attendant said to me.

I started to follow her toward the plane but then I realized what I was doing. I handed her my ticket and said, “I changed my mind.”

I turned around and saw Kendall walking off in the other direction. I hurried to catch up to him and called his name, just like he had called mine moments earlier.

“Kirstie, just go,” He mumbled as he kept walking and I could hear his voice shake and saw tears in his eyes, breaking my heart at the sight.

“But I love you too Kendall,” I told him.

He stopped dead in his tracks, turning to me and stunned, asking, “You do?”

“I always have,” I replied.

In one swift motion he had me pressed up against his body and our lips collided in a beautiful kiss. It sent electricity through my body and in that kiss, I just didn’t feel attraction but I felt love and genuine care for one another.

“I love you,” Kendall panted as our lips barely parted so we could catch our breath.

“I love you too Kendall,” I whispered back.

“Thousands of people say my name, but you’re the only person who says it perfectly,” He told me, making my heart melt as I went back to kiss him but he stopped me after a minute.

“What’s wrong?” I asked, holding onto him.

“We’re still in the airport,” Kendall chuckled. “C’mon babe, let’s go to my house.”

I can’t believe that this morning I felt like I was nothing in life, I had no reason to stay, no one to care about me or for me to care about and all because of one person, I feel like now my life has meaning. But I guess that just shows how perfect he is for me.