You're the Only One...Aren't You?

Chapter 2: "Dark Dreams"
[Dahvie's P.O.V still]
(The night Dahvie and Savannah broke up)

I had the same dream that I had earlier that day; Jayy looked even more hurt in this one, and it felt even more realistic that the last one. Savannah was behind him this time, and when I tried to speak I couldn't move; my voice didn't work, my body couldn't move. I was frozen. I was about to watch Jayy die, and my eyes got wider as I saw her pull out a chef's knife from behind her back, still advancing towards Jayy slowly. He was still unaware, still looking hurt and alone and so confused. She got even closer, and as she lifted the blade to strike it through his neck, I was finally able to scream out, "JAYY, NOO!!! I LO--" Just like that, I was covered in my best friend's blood. I heard him scream out in pain, and he lay there on the bed, on his stomach, staring at me with hate and deeper confusion in his facial expression and eyes. The blood was soaking the sheets, but he lay there, slowly becoming motionless. Tears silently rolled down his cheeks...and they turned a dark crimson red, as he whispered, "Why did you let me go? Why couldn't you love me? ...Dahvie?...I...L-love you..." Savannah shoved him off the bed, and his body hit the ground with a hollow and loud thud. My heart stopped.

I bolted up right, screaming and gasping for air that I couldn't take in quickly enough. My screams made Jayy bolt up out of a sound and heavy sleep, his eyes wide with fear as he stared at me. His hands touched my face and he never looked so worried before. "What happened?! Are you okay," he asked quickly, quietly; he pulled me into his arms, hugging me to his chest tightly. I nodded slowly, and finally calmed my breathing after a few minutes. I told him that I had a nightmare and he grinned a bit, though sympathy was shining in his eyes. He layed back down and patted my pillow, motioning me to lay in his arms. Slowly I layed back down, my head resting on his arm comfortably, but he pulled me closer so that my forehead was resting against his chest. Neither of us had to exchange words - we both knew I would have done the same for him if it had been the other way around. His other arm coiled around my side gently, hugging me close to him, and I was comfortable; we both drifted off quickly, and my last thoughts were of prayers that I didn't have the same dream again.

[Jayy's P.O.V]

I had fallen asleep on the couch with Dahvie in my arms, a smile on my lips as I was pushing the thought of kissing Dahvie out of my mind; after all, he'd be grossed out if I told him that I even had the slightest thought about it. I slipped into my dream world as I had so many times before, but this happened faster. I found myself laying on my bed, and I saw Dahvie curled up to the wall next to me. I had a huge grin on my face, and I hadn't the slightest idea of why. But I spoke to him, knowing he was awake - just feeling it in my very being, as if I was connected to him somehow. "Last night was so much fun, Dahvie." I was confused on what I even meant by that, and yet before I even had time to think about it I felt my hand moving towards him...somehow I managed to find my hand in Dahvie's boxers, and I felt the length of his member running across my fingertips as I traced them along slowly. Dahvie's jaw dropped, and I could tell he had just figured out what was going on...but then he bit his lower lip gently, just staring at me with his eyes huge and round. I expected him to tear away from me, to shove me away...but he moaned softly, sitting up and...straddling me? Dahvie just tilted his head a bit to the right, a smile touching his lips as he rocked slowly, grinding his ass against my member gently; I could feel the blood rush to my cheeks as I became a bit embarassed and more shy, making my face unbearably hot to me. I parted my lips a bit to let out a small groan, closing my eyes and arching my back ever so slightly, my hips rocking slowly and gently against Dahvie's, and against his barely protected rear. The more and more I felt him grinding on me, the more and more I craved the love he could provide me with...the love I could provide him with, as well. I turned my head away, enjoying how good it felt to finally be able to do something with Dahvie, and not have to surpress my feelings. I felt Dahvie's hot breath against the cold skin on my neck, and I felt his tongue trace from my collar bone to my earlobe slowly, leaving me with goosebumps, as he kept his pace at grinding on me.

"O-oh...God," I whispered barely, my breath shortening a bit from embarassment. I could hear Dahvie chuckle softly into my ear, and he reached up to my face...he tilted my face gently back to his, and I opened my eyes to see his beautiful face a few inches from mine with his gorgeous smile upon his lips. That smile made my heart soar, and made my own smile come out. "Dahvie," I started quietly, "I...I wanted to tell you that...I lo--"

I heard him scream, and I was wide awake, staring at him, holding him, and touching his incredible face. I almost called him baby, but I caught myself, "What happened?! Are you okay," I hadn't been this worried about someone, or something, for years. What had made him freak out so badly? "It...it was just a nightmare," he explained quickly, and I couldn't help but grin. Almost 30 years old and still getting nightmares that make him freak out and scream - good God he was adorable - but at the same time I could understand...sometimes they get pretty horrible. I layed back down and after a few minutes, got him to lay back into my arms. Within seconds, he was asleep again, and I smiled to myself, closing my eyes to try and fall asleep again as well.

I layed there for an hour. Two hours. Finally three hours passed, and I knew I wasn't going back to sleep. I wriggled out of Dahvie's grasp gently, and got up to go have a cigarette out front on the porch. It had started to become lighter outside as I opened the door, stepped down onto the porch and twisted the doorknob, pulling it closed as quietly as I could - but the door made the choice to creak a bit as it shut. I looked up at the sky, waiting to hear if Dahvie was awake because of the door - it always woke him up since he was a pretty light sleeper. Was it 6:30am already? I waited a few minutes more, not hearing him getting up, so I walked to our car and opened the driver's door, reaching in and grabbing my pack of smokes from the passenger chair. I opened it and took one out, putting the filtered end in my mouth and closing the pack to put it in my back pocket of my jeans. I lit my cigarette quickly and put away my lighter, shivering because of how cold it was.

"Of course," I thought, sighing, "I would forget to put on a shirt or jacket..." Minutes later, I heard the front door open, and I looked back over my left shoulder and saw Dahvie standing there frowning. I patted the ground on the porch step next to me, smiling a bit as I took another drag from my cigarette. Dahvie looked a bit irritated, and he shut the door; seconds later, he returned with my hoodie and handed it to me. Quickly I set my cigarette down and then slid on the hoodie, grateful that Dahvie knew me so well. "Thanks," I mumbled quietly, not wanting to break the peaceful yet eerie silence that surrounded our place and even each other. He nodded, and then sat next to me - but it wasn't just a "I'm just going to sit here; you stay there, we're just friends," kind of way. The next thing I knew, Dahvie nuzzled his face gently into my neck as I was taking a drag off my cigarette, and I choked and coughed a bit because I inhaled the smoke wrong. I blushed faintly and looked down at Dahvie, who had his eyes closed and was cuddled up to my left side. I put my arm around his shoulders and squeezed gently to let him know I was there for him; to keep him warm, to listen to his problems, to be a shoulder to cry on - whatever he needed me to be. I closed my own eyes, but then felt eyes on me. I knew Dahvie was staring about me, and I whispered, "What's wrong, Dahvie? What's on your mind?" He smiled slightly, and shrugged, "Well, if I tell you," he started, then paused a long moment, continuing, "I can't tell you anyway...well, it was just about the nightmare I had... Have I ever told you that I'm deathly afraid to lose you, Jayy?"

With that said, my eyes opened and I looked down at him, my cheeks tinting a slightly darker shade of red as I shook my head slowly. "No," I replied, "But I'm glad that I mean that much to you..." I smiled barely and thought to myself, "If only you knew the dream I had...if only you knew how much I thought of you, and how much I needed you....and how jealous I was...of that stupid cunt, Savannah...you'd be ashamed of me, Dahvie - really ashamed." My smile vanished and I leaned against the door again, closing my eyes with Dahvie leaning on my left shoulder, my arm still around him. "You don't even know," I whispered, almost inaudibly, "how much I care for you, Dahvie fuckin' Vanity..." I smiled bigger and finally fell asleep where I lay; against that door.

[Dahvie's P.O.V]

The door made an almost silent creaking noise as it closed, but the lack of heat, a body, and a heart beat near me made me realize Jayy had gotten up. "Fuck," I whispered to myself. "He knows I hate it when he leaves me alone after nightmares," I thought to myself, sighing as I sat up; I hated it because it made me feel so childish, so helpless, because I felt trapped in my own mind and I couldn't escape no matter what I did. At least with someone else there, I could forget about it and think of something else instead of laying there terrified from a dream. After a few minutes passed, I heard the car door close twice but no engine, I decided to get up and go outside with him. I made my way from the small couch in the living room to the front door 6 feet away. Quickly opening the door, I stared at him for a second, frowning, and just saw him smile up at me and take a drag on his cigarette; he patted the spot on the porch next to him. I shut the door, becoming a bit irritated at him for leaving my side as I stalked over to the dining room table, picking up both of our hoodies, then pulling mine on and zipping it up all the way. I didn't even bother putting on shoes, as I walked over to the door again and grasped the doorknob, turning it to the right and pulling it open, stepping onto the porch and closing the door. Then handing Jayy his hoodie - I'm surprised he didn't grab it on his way out instead of just going straight outside...did he really need to smoke that badly, or did he just forget?

"Thanks," I heard him mumble. "You're welcome," I muttered in the back of my mind, then I sat down next to him, but I was still so tired; I knew he'd let me, so I nuzzled into his neck and tried to cuddle as close as I could to him. I heard him choke and cough for a second, but I didn't even open my eyes because I reminded myself he was smoking. He'd choke and cough rather it was from me or from smoking, so it didn't really matter. In my head I kept singing to "Dark Dreams", and I felt Jayy wrap his arm around my shoulders and squeeze my left shoulder gently; I didn't know why, but he always had this weird way of comforting me, especially after having a dream like that. Thinking of it made me twitch a bit, but I doubted Jayy even felt it because he seemed like he was falling asleep, and he'd already finished his cigarette. There was silence for a little while, and I had opened my eyes to trace the lines of his face and study what he could be thinking about, but then I heard him whisper faintly, "What's wrong, Dahvie? What's on your mind?" He was looking at me from the corner of his eye, his eyelids formed a narrow slit. I only smiled and shrugged a bit. "Well, if I tell you," I started then froze for what seemed like ages, as I tried to form the right words. "How do I tell him I had a dream about his death," I thought, "let alone not even knowing how to tell him it was about the nightmare. He'll probably think I'm such a kid still...but he's my best friend. He'll understand." I continued our small conversation finally, "I can't tell you anyway...well, it was just about the nightmare I had... Have I ever told you that I'm deathly afraid to lose you, Jayy?"

I could tell I made him embarassed because I felt his body tense slightly, and he shook his head at me slowly. Were his cheeks a bit red?? "Why would he be embarassed about that," I asked myself, "What could he be thinking about...?" I just stared up at him - what else was there to do? I didn't think I could go back to sleep, especially not on the porch - but maybe with Jayy by my side...? "What am I THINKING," I screamed in my mind, "Jayy's just my friend, my brother! Why do I feel so...weird around him? Is it because he's gay?? But...I've known for years...could it just be the dreams that are getting to me, or am I really developing a problem with him being gay? I totally support him...I know I do...then what am I doing...thinking that it could even be a possibility?" I shoved my thoughts away, just as Jayy leaned his head back against the door. Wait...suddenly it registered to my mind he had said something, and I thought back, trying to read his lips and hear his words. Finally it hit me. "No," I heard him say, "But I'm glad I mean that much to you..." For some reason I got - wait, really, BUTTERFLIES in my stomach? "You've got to be kidding me," I thought, but they flew up to my throat and exploded all over my stomach as I heard Jayy whisper again, almost silently, "You don't even know...how much I care for you, Dahvie fuckin' Vanity..." I couldn't stop grinning as he fell asleep with a smile on his lips against the front door - it made me extremely happy to know he cared about me, and I was even more happy when the butterflies had finally descended. I curled up to his side and I didn't mean to, but I fell asleep on his shoulder.