One Body, Two Souls

I had a beautiful dream last night, but now that I'm wide awake, I can't remember what it was haha. I woke up a little bit too early, at 7, probably because of my excitement from last night's event. I did nothing but clean the house, clean my studio (yeah, I have a studio because I can), play with my dog, and feed her.

After doing the household crap, I make myself some bacon and an omelette while listening to some Asking Alexandria and Dream Theater to add inspiration to my drumming. I do these kinds of activities everyday, and have no regrets of doing them.

Breakfast ready, I sit in front of my tv and tune in to some random music channel but immediately change it because music these days is shit. So I ignore the tv, and go straight to my phone to check if there's something important, and "1 message from Zacky Baker" appears on the screen. Curious, I open the message. And the content is pretty much like this:

"Good morning Ash. I just talked to the boys, they said they want you to take a lesson with Jason and practice with him in the studio since you're gonna play your first show in less than 2 weeks. We're gonna be there to see you, don't worry. And do you want me to pick you up? You have to be in the studio at 3. -Zacky"

I check what time it is, and feel relieved because it's still 11 in the fucking morning. Wow, the guys are pretty diligent to even wake up that early. So I reply Zacky's message like this:

"That's sound like a plan. But no Zack, I'm afraid it will bother you, so no need to pick me up. I can go by myself. See you?" I click on the send button, and I hold my phone close to my chest like a little girl hugs her teddy bear. Not so long after I sent the text, he replies. Now that's fast.

"I'm actually fine to pick you up everyday, but if you refuse, well then. See you ;)" what the fuck, he put a smiley at the end of the text. A FUCKING SMILEY. Is this the real Zacky fucking Vengeance? Well, he's cute. I thought he was the same cold celebrity that I always imagined. But no, now I have changed my mind. 360 degrees changed. I pretty much zone out for a while, but managed to snap back into reality, finish my breakfast and wash the dishes. I go back into my bedroom and take a quick shower, and decided to put on my casual look today: a pair of shorts and a band tee. Now I look seriously fine.

Again, I check my wristwatch. It's flashing '11:43 AM' and now I have nothing to do until I actually go and do my real work, so I pull out my phone and begin to browse the internet.

I only take a quick glance on Deathbat News and my twitter account. I wonder why the guys didn't spread the news about their new drummer through Deathbat News yet. I shake the thought off and decide that 'practicing' sounds really good right now. Or perhaps, a quick chat with Jimmy?

I go to my Little Piece of Heaven a.k.a my studio, and immediately sit behind the drum. Jimbo?

'What is it, princess?' Jimmy replies real quick.

"I wanted to ask you about my weaknesses in playing drums. Now spit them out." I put my earphones on both my ears, but refuse to turn the music on until Jimmy spits out all of my weaknesses.

'Do you want me to spit all of them out, or only some of them so I won't break you heart?' Jesus, I hate him when he acts like this.

"How many weaknesses do I have, sir?" I worriedly ask him.

'A LOT, unfortunately,' he fakes the way he talks, and I can actually feel him trying not to giggle inside my unconscious mind.

"Ha! That's quite a thrill, Jim. Now, spit them out already. All of them." I prepare myself to hear what's going to come out of his mouth.

'Fine. Now listen to me very carefully...' he inhales deeply, and begins to speak again.

'From what I see, you don't really have that many serious weaknesses when you play the drums. Well yeah, I saw the nervousness when you first sat down here and noticed my presence. But then it fades away because you're enjoying what you're doing. You love drumming. And you know what? I started to think that you're even better than me, to be quite honest,' he finally really speaks up about every single thing he sees in me everytime I play the drums. He's my personal mentor here. I smile and my cheek turns into a pair of bright pink circles. Just about when I wanted to reply this, he speaks again.

'Here are some suggestions. I've been inside of you for almost 3 years, yeah? I've seen your progress. Keep on doing the single stroke practice as often as possible. And do more exercises for your heel-toe technique, you're going to use that a lot in the writing.' See? He truly is being my mentor right now.

"Thanks a fucking lot Jimbo. Oh god, I have the urge to hug you, but how?" I ask him, a bit pissed off because I can't really hug him.

'Hug yourself, silly!' I laugh at his reply, and actually hug myself. I can barely feel him, but I know he does exist.

♪•♫•♪•♫•♪•♫•♪•♫•♪

I practiced and talked a lot with Jimmy in my private studio, and went to A7X's studio at 2. And here I am now with Jason, relaxing while waiting for the other 4 to show up. Since I don't want things going awkward right now, I ask Jason:

"So, Jason... What are we going to do today?" I said and hoping that we will have a conversation here. I bite my bottom lip nervously, scared that he will starts yelling and so on. He looks at me coldly, but suddenly his face softens a bit, and he smiles.

"Hey, don't be so tense up like that around me. I'm not gonna bite you as long as you're not gonna do that to me too," the warm smile is still plastered on his face. I sigh, glad that he's not an ice block.

We have a "drummer" conversation going for what seems like 30 minutes long until all the 4 members finally arrive together. You really don't want to know our conversation, only the drummers would catch up and understand it haha!

I wave at the 4 newcomers, and mumble "good afternoon" to each one of them. Zacky comes in last, right behind Brian. He's so busy with his phone and I think he's texting his girlfriend, Gena. I don't know, but something inside of me growls. Then he looks up at me, and put this very huge smile on his face.

"Hi Ashley! Nice to see you again. Ahhh, and it's nice to see you going on well with this stubborn asshole," he hugs me, that kind of brotherly hug I think. He points at Jason when he mentions the "stubborn asshole" part. He's not an ass, Zee.

"Very fucking funny, Zee," Jason replies coldly and wanders inside the studio. I glare at Zacky, and he gives me this "what's my problem?" look, then I follow Jason inside the studio, with Zacky behind me.

Matt tells us what are we going to do. He says that we're going to be here for the next 10 days, preparing for my first show with Avenged Sevenfold.

Afterwards, I have this private session with Jason and he tells me what to practice for the next 10 days. Foot technique that is. And then yeah, I get pretty tired and stop to take a rest. Then Brian, from the other side of the room, says:

"Ashley, I think that's enough for today. It's 8. Let's we all have a dinner together." I nod, and I step out of the small room. We gather, and decide to go to a nearby restaurant to have a dinner together.

"Come, I'm gonna drive you there." Zacky says and pulls me in the direction of his car. I smile and trail behind.

The trip is quiet. The awkward silence is just strange. Zacky seems like he's upset for whatever reason, and I don't feel like talking to him when he's moody like this. Zacky pulls into the driveway of the restaurant, and I step out of his car too soon that I see a sudden change of his expression. Urgh, I'm sorry, Zack...

Matt leads us to the big ballroom of the fancy restaurant, and disappears to talk to the receptionists about the table, probably. A waiter approaches us, and leads us to our table that has 6 chairs ready. I take a seat on some random chair, and Brian and Jason immediately take the seats on either side of me. I see Jason smirking at Zacky right across the table when he sees how upset Zacky is at the moment. Zacky can be such an asshole to be honest.

The waiter takes our orders. We talk about random stuff and laugh as we wait for our food to come, and not so long after that, the food came. Jason and I keep on talking about drums and laughing when we're eating which makes Zacky way more upset. What's upsetting him? Is he jealous? I shake the thought off and concentrate on what Jason is saying to me.

When I finish my food, I take a look at my surroundings. The restaurant is good, clean, with modern styles I suppose. There are lots of customers, until one of them catch my sight. I take a little closer look, and- HOLY JESUS FUCKING CHRIST! What is he doing in here?! I panic and quickly turn away from him, but he notices me and immediately stands up and walks closer and closer to our table, with a bottle of beer still in his hand.

"What's wrong Ashley?" Jason asks me, I shake my head and whisper "nothing" to him. But my body start to shake, oh god this can't be good. The man is drunk, what am I suppose to do?

"ASHLEY! It's been a loonggg -hic- time huh? How you doin'?" uh oh. I'm so screwed. "Oh," his eyes flash with sudden recognition, "and you guys are Avenged Sevenfold! Do any of you recognize who I am?" he points to himself.

"You, you are Edward. Right? Contender no. 1?" Johnny asks, followed by all the guys nodding their heads except me and Jason. So, he was one of my rivals back in the audition. I didn't know that.

"Aah, you smart man. And you, I know you didn't choose me as the drummer, you bastard." he jabs a slender finger at Jason, who apparently doesn't remember him. I can see Jason gets a little bit tensed up, and I pat his back to make him relax so that bad things won't happen here.

"Oh, I get it -hic- you chose that girl, instead of me, because you have a crush on her, don't you? Well, you have to thank me because I was the reason why she started drumming."

"Edward, we're not-" I begin, but he waves at me dismissively, takes a sip of his beer, and continues to tell them our history.

"Ashley and I used to be together in London -hic- We were dating 6 years ago until she decided to move out to California to continue her drumming career, which was 3 years ago. I was the one who told her all about drumming, and introduced her to a music career. But then, this little parasite betrayed me, and I found out that she dated me just to leech off my drumming skills and -hic- dumped me when she had learned all of them from me and couldn't find anymore. And here she is, taking what's meant to be mine. In case you didn't read my application properly, it has been my dream for twenty years to become a famous drummer. And she," Edward points at me accusingly, "she has taken it all from me. Are you happy, Ashley?" I stare at him with wide eyes. What the fuck did he just say?

"C'mon Edward. Let's finish this outside." I say to him and pull him outside the restaurant.

As soon as we are outside and out of earshot, I grab Edward's shoulders roughly and turn him to face me. "What is your problem, Ed?" I ask him immediately, as calmly as I can manage, with all my fury already boiling the lava of my blood.

"Nothing, babe. Although it seems like your position right now is of concern to me. You dream-snatcher, how much did you -hic- pay them to have this position? In case you didn't know, I have money now, so I can do whatever I want." That arrogant bastard. I slap him right across his face, and left a bright red hand mark to be proud of on his cheek. What the hell, now he accuses me of bribing the guys? I'm glad that we decided to take it out on each other outside. My eyes start to water.

"I didn't have to pay them anything, they chose me because I had potential! Fucking hell, Edward, why did you lie to them? Why did you tell them bad things that I didn't do to you?" I say again as I point back at the restaurant where the other guys are waiting for me.

"I lied? No I didn't! You did that to me! You broke it off of me just as soon as your drumming got a little better than mine! You think I didn't notice that?" He starts yelling and takes a grab at my neck which causes me to gasp and struggle with my breathing.

I reply to his comment, "What? I broke up with you because that was the only thing I could do for you before I left!" I try to take his hold off of me, but he tightens his big hands around my neck even more. "I did you a favor, Edward! Right from the start, I could tell that you were married to your dream of becoming a world-famous, dirty-rich drummer! Your ambition has blinded you, what happened to the Edward I thought I befriended? You were full of love when you first discovered me, Ashley, the girl who couldn't drum. And now? The only emotions you have are jealousy, anger and bitter hate!" I shout through tears but end up sort of choking.

"SHUT UP! I know your little secrets, girl," he whispers in my ear. "I'm gonna rip you apart, honey. Be prepared, Ashley. Patience is all I need." He lets go of my neck. I rub the bruises and break down crying. What did I do wrong to him? I think about the other friends I made at music college, and wonder with horror if I have made the same impression of myself on them as I have done to Edward. If I see them again, will they call me a parasite, dream-snatcher and all these names that Edward has called me?

He walks back to the restaurant to pay his bill, but when he comes out, he comes back for me. He pulls my chin up with his fingers and forces me to look up at him.

"You know why I am better than you this time, Ashley? Why I will finally fulfill my dream?" he didn't pause to let me reply. "Because you still love me, and won't dare to hurt me back." He kisses me, and leaves me there all broken and torn apart. I can't even stand up, let alone walk back into the restaurant to explain my situation to the Avenged Sevenfold crew. I angrily rub my lips with my shirt to clean them of the memory of that asshole's dirty lips. As despair rolls in, I contemplate surrender. What if he was actually right? What if everything I did was ruin other people's lives? I thought angrily. How do I explain all of those lies to the others?