My Fallen Guardian Angel

Andy’s POV
Zam and Ash left to pick the apples in the garden and Matt went to talk to me.
“it wasn’t Zam’s fault that before the breakfast” he began.
I looked up at him a little confused. Then I knew what he was talking about.
“it seemed like” I said and looked him right into the eyes. They were like Ashley’s, big and chocolate brown but Matt would never ever be like Ashley. He would never be as cute as Ashley; he would never be as sweet as Ashley. And especially not as gorgeous as Ashley.
Matt sighed. “don’t give him the blame okay. Sometimes he needs some care and then I’m too slowly to see it. Then he’s gonna hit someone because they piss him off. It was one of these moments we had there. It was only my fault” Matt told me.
I nodded. Okay so Zam needed some care and hurt people if he didn’t get it. I had to think about that… hmm… what if he got hurt. Could he get angry enough at Matt as he killed someone? I didn’t like thinking in that way. Especially not when that ‘someone’ was Ashley. Why was it like that? I couldn’t really fall in love with him…couldn’t I? Fuck if I was in love with him no-one of us would be safe anymore. Stupid shit!
“okay. Now to what I’ve planned teaching you since I got up this morning” Matt began and I looked up at him.
“what’s that?” I asked.
“I’m gonna teach you how to bake the best apple pie ever” he said smiling. That made his face change a little more. Something in his smile was really not like Ashley’s.
“okay” I said smiling. “but doesn’t it used to be the feminine doing that?”
“not every time” Matt told me. “and I promise you’ll make him so happy for making it” he smiled proud at himself. “sometimes when Zam is really upset I make it. It calms him down and melts his heart” he told me and I could see the love in his face which made him smile even more.
“sounds nice” I smiled and looked outside the window to see Ash picking the apples. Zam was nowhere to be seen.
Matt and I were getting ready to do the pie when I felt him look at me in a very strange way. I looked back at him.
“what?” I asked.
“okay Andy I have to admit it.” He said and blushed… blushed? Oh fuck.
“what is it?” I asked a little scared of his answer.
He won’t look into my eyes. “I know you’re Ashley’s boyfriend and that my boyfriend is Zam but…” he trailed off.
“but what?” I asked trying to help him getting the words over his lips.
He looked nervous up at me and send me a cute smile. “I’m in love with you Andy” he said in a low voice. FUCK!
Or wait… not fuck… that was wrong to use. My brain started to plan. If I made myself more attractive then he would maybe go and fuck me… if I was really lucky he would rape me… lucky or lucky. If I had to complete this mission then it was lucky but if I was thinking like a human then it won’t be lucky. But I had not to think too much like a human. He – Matt – would rape me and then Zam was gonna hate him. If I was lucky (and I had to be) Zam would use Ashley to hurt Matt and I hoped (or not) that that meant that Zam was gonna kill Ashley. Then my mission would be completed and I could get back to the little piece of heaven with my friends. And then I could have a happy life… without worrying… without love… and without… Ashley… I couldn’t do it. My heart said no… no it didn’t say no. it yelled it. I could feel it in my whole body. But I had to let him die. I just had to do it to him. Even if I couldn’t.
Matt and I started baking the bottom of the pie.
“so what are you saying?” Matt asked and smiled nervous at me
I didn’t knew what to say. I looked nervous around to find something to help me. Anything was welcome. I just needed help for my answer. But of course. What do you find in a kitchen helping you in love?
“that’s…” I said and then couldn’t continue. I was saved my Ash and Zam coming inside with a cart full of apples.