I'm Gonna Die Before I Fold.

Ian continued to stare at where they had turned the corner. He didn't know what to do, how to react. His mind had barely registered the fact that Sean's hand was still clasped tightly around his.

Slowly, Ian thawed out from his frozen stature. He turned towards Sean, his eyes sliding shut slowly as it hit what had just happened. Lee had lost it with him. Screamed in his face, blamed him for things he didn't even know he had done. But he guessed, it all made sense now. Lee never came out with the boys outside of school. And now Ian knew why. Sean's other arm wrapped around Ian, pulling him into a hug.

As the tears began to leak from Ian's eyes and down onto Sean's shirt, Ian pushed way from Sean, unlinking their hands. He got to his feet clumsily, slinging his bag across one shoulder. Sean frowned and whispered. "Ian.."

Ian looked at him. Sean looked worried, almost upset. "I f-fucked up real bad. I am s-so sorry." He quickly cupped his hand to Sean's cheek, and kissed his forehead. Sean whimpered weakly, trying to grab hold of Ian's shirt. Ian stepped back and turned, then started to walk away. Sean stared after him, watching as Ian left through the marbled school gates. His face screwed up in displeasure as Ian looked over his shoulder once, then broke into a run.

"Sean." Gavin muttered faintly. "Go after him. We'll see if Lee's alright, and I'll text you if anything happens. Go. You'll regret it if you don't."

Sean looked at Gavin. He gave Sean an encouraging smile. Sean didn't return the smile but got up and bolted it after Ian, throwing his bag onto his back quickly.

-

Ian ran full pelt all the way to his house, ignoring the tears that fell hot and fast down his face. He got home and slammed the door open, running up the stairs and locking himself inside his room.

"Ian?" His mother called out, and he didn't reply. "Ian!" His mother shouted loudly. By the level of volume of her voice, Ian could tell she was right outside his room. He leant against the door, holding it shut with his weight. He whimpered to himself and slid down the back of the door, scratching at his arms absent-mindedly.

Sean got to Ian's house, half running, half stumbling over his own feet like an idiot. He skidded into the garden and knocked on the open front door loudly, barely hesitating.

Ian's mother came down the stairs, frowning deeply. "Sean, I can't get Ian to talk to me. He's mumbling stuff about 'screwing up'? And I think he said he was an 'ignorant self-centred fuck-up'?" She sounded extremely concerned about the welfare of her precious son. He was an only child, the perfect example of an only child, well, minus the fire thing. But he was still her golden child, and she did not care about the little flaws he had.

"Can.. Can I go up? I can try and talk to him." She nodded, biting down on her lip with worry. Sean stepped inside then hurried up the stairs like a bat out of hell. He stopped at Ian's bedroom door, pressing his ear to the thin plasterboard wood. He listened closely, listening momentarily to the sound of Ian's quiet sobs. "Ian.." He heard Ian hold his breath. "Please let me in, Ian." He heard Ian shuffle across the floor and slowly, Sean pushed down the door-handle, opening the door gradually.

Ian was sat on the floor, looking down with a blank expression. His face was streaked with drying tears, as he continued to scratch at the red raw skin of his forearms. The skin had not yet broke, and there were not signs of blood. Yet.

Sean knelt infront of him, grasping at his hands tightly. "Ian, Ian, stop." He pulled his hands, forcing him to stop grazing his arms with his rough nails. He looked up at Sean, tears still lingering in his eyes.

"Why di- What are you d-doing here?" Ian stuttered.

"Ian, I'm telling you now, Lee's outburst was not your fault. Not one of us noticed he was faking everything. You can't blame yourself." Sean whispered softly, winding his fingers around Ian's firmly.

"B-but I w-was his b-bestfriend," Ian said, a rising note of hysteria in his voice, "And n-now he hates me. Everyone hates m-me. Lee. J-Jocko. James. They all hate m-me." Ian's faltered, his voice shaking violently. "I d-don't even know wh-why I'm c-crying. I'm s-so pathetic. T-this is wh-why everyone h-hates me. I d-dont deserve to l-live."

"I don't hate you." Sean said calmingly. Ian rolled his eyes, trying to pull his hands away. Sean refused to let him go. "No. No more scratching."

Ian whined softly, looking back up at Sean. Their bodies were extremely close, Sean kneeling directly infront of Ian. Sean felt Ian's emotions change. From self-loathing, to curious. And Sean knew exactly why. Of course, why else?

Ian shifted his weight slightly, moving his body so his face was closer to Sean's. He could feel Sean's heartbeat through his shirt, and it was fast, beating 100 miles an hour. Well not quite, but that was the general jist of things. Sean's eyes slid shut slowly, his breathing speeding up quite considerably.

And after what seemed like hours, their lips finally met.

Ian took advantage of Sean's distraction and snaked his hands free. He wrapped them around his neck and tangled his fingers into Sean's hair, pulling his face closer. Sean pressed himself closer to Ian, winding his arm around Ian's waist. He whined softly and pulled his lips away gently. He rested his forehead on Ian's.

"Never ever hurt yourself on purpose again, E." Ian gripped onto Sean tighter, refusing to let himself be torn away from him, should the moment arise where Sean would leave.

"Stay with me, for today?"

"Of course. But what are you gonna tell your mam?"

"The truth." Ian's voice was cut off as his lips collided with Sean's once more.