Put Me Back Together

Emma's POV

It was night time. 1am, to be exact. I was laying in my bed, staring up at the ceiling. I couldn't fall asleep. I haven't been able to sleep in a long time. I get a couple hours here and there, but that's it. The guys were in the guest rooms. Brian and Zack were in one, while Jimmy and Johnny were in the other one, leaving me by myself. Not that I cared or anything.

I know the guys are just trying to help me, but I've done so much crap to them. I caused them all of this grief. There's just no way I can let them help me. It's not right, it's not fair to them. What I needed to do was follow through with my suicide. They're better off without me.

I rose from my bed, shakily before tip-toeing to the bathroom. Once, I got inside, I shut the door without looking. I walked over to the medicine cabinet, and opened the door. I grabbed the sleeping pills and set them on the counter. I just stared at the bottle, remembering Jack stopping me last time, I tried. You would think he would of got rid of the pills, but he didn't.

My heart beated faster, and my palms started to sweat. There was no one here to stop me this time, so I could get it over with fairly easy, but the question was did I really want to do it?

Brian's POV

I couldn't sleep, I just had too much on my mind. Also Zack, who was sleeping next to me wouldn't stop snoring. I'm not sleeping next to him tomorrow, I'll switch with Johnny. He can suffer through it. I heard footsteps outside the door, and then I heard a door shut.

It was probably Jack, or one of the guys using the bathroom.

Something inside of me, told me to go make sure. I crawled out of the bed carefully, and Zack moaned in his sleep. "Mommy don't leave me." I rolled me eyes, and pulled the blanket over him. "Go back to sleep." I whispered, and I heard his snoring again.

Once I got into the hallway, I crept over to Emma's room to find her door open. I stuck my head in there to find the room empty. I walked over to the bathroom to see the door cracked open a bit. I looked in carefully to see Emma crying while having a bottle of pills in her hands.

Fear ran through me, and I opened the door all the way. She almost jumped when she saw me. I walked into the bathroom, and shut the door behind me. "Emma."

She wouldn't let me finish, "Brian, I'm fixing my mess."

"By killing yourself?!" I asked, appalled.

Emma shook her head, "You wouldn't understand."

I crossed my arms over my chest, "Try me."

She took a shaky breath before speaking. "I've done so much damage to you guys, and yet you still are trying to help me. It's not fair, the only way I can fix is by leaving."

I had to count to 3 before speaking. "Emma, you tried that last time, and looked what happened? You made us miserable."

Emma wiped the fresh tears that rolled down her cheeks, "You don't understand."

"I do, actually." I said while walking closer to her. I grabbed the bottle out of her hand carefully, and popped the lid off. She scrunched her eyebrows up in confusion, as I poured a handful of pills into my hand, "If you do, then I'm doing it." I said while looking into her eyes.

Her eyes widened, and she shook her head. "No! Brian, you can't kill yourself. You have a great life. You have friends, and family that love you."

"Exactly." I said while she bowed her head.

Emma raised her head, "I don't have any family."

I sat the bottle down on the counter, and grabbed her hand. "Emma, we are your family."

She didn't say anything, but just stared at the pill bottle on the counter. I decided to try again. "Emma, if you want to do this, that's fine, just know I'm not far behind you."

"I just don't know what to do anymore." She broke out into a sob.

I reached my arms out, and she wrapped her arms around my torso, while crying. I let out a sigh in relief. I held her tight, and smoothed out her hair with my fingers. Not I feel bad for not wanting to come here in the first place. If I didn't come, she would of killed herself.

"You know what we have to do first, right?" I asked while pulling back so I could look at her.

She shook her head as a response, and I walked over to the toilet and let the pills in my hands drop into it, making a little splash. She took a deep breath and nodded. She grabbed the bottle and emptied the remains into the toilet. I flushed the toilet and looked at her, "You're strong, Emma. You can beat this."

I lead her back into her room, and she crawled into her bed. I was about to head back to my room, but she stopped me. "Can you stay with me? I mean, you don't have to if-" I didn't let her finish the sentence, I crawled into the bed next to her, and wrapped my arms around her.

It felt like old times.

She laid her head onto my chest, and sighed. "I don't get it."

I traced circles on her arms, and frowned in the darkness. "What don't you get?"

"Why you're being so nice to me." She lifted her head to gaze into my eyes. "I put you through hell, you should be mad, and being mean to me. I don't deserve this." She said, and I watched a tear roll down her cheek.

I wiped it off with my thumb, "You're right. I shouldn't be this nice, but there's one reason from keeping me from being mad at you."

Emma frowned, "What?"

"I love you."