I'm Not Retarded, Just Unique

“I'll allow you to talk to her for twenty minuets. Your grandmother and I will be in my office talking. If you finish early, feel free to walk back there. Okay?” Officer Gates questioned and Frank nodded. Without anymore hesitation, the officer lead Frank through the door frame and into a rectangular room that held a single cell, that looked to big to hold a single woman in it. It made Frank sad to see his mom in a cell alone.

When they entered, Linda's expression did not change. Frank noticed though, that even if her face remained dull and uninterested, her eyes seemed to hold something else that Frank was unable to detect.

“Twenty minuets,” Gates reminded the boy. Frank only nodded and allowed the officer to leave. He stood silent for a few seconds. He didn't want to waste time but he also didn't know what to say really. He looked behind him and spotted three chairs. Pulling one up to the bars, he sat down and kicked his legs.

“What do you want, Frankie?” Linda asked, watching her son with mild interest. She was shocked however, to even see him here. The Iero mother was perplexed. Why has Marie even allowed Frank near her?

“Are you not, lonely?” Frank questioned glancing around the large cell.

“I do better alone.” Linda answered shortly. Her lack of drug intake had resulted in her lashing out and forcing her into isolation.

“Oh, okay,” Frank nodded. He ducked down and stared at his hands. The elder woman glanced over different parts of her child. Staring at his fidgeting hands or over to his shifting eyes. He seemed so nervous, like a child watching a doctor prepare a shot.

“If you wanna say somethin' do it now. I'd hate to see you go without answering your question.” Linda said her voice only showing the lowest for of care and compassion. He just needed a little boost. Linda knew that much, just a few encouraging words and he'd be off.

“I don't know.” Frank was suddenly nervous. His stomach twisted and turned and he felt like he was going to be sick. What if his mother attacked him? What if she kicked him out? What if his father came? Frank's last question terrified him the most and almost had him bolting out of the room.

“Where...where is, dad?” Frank stuttered out after a few seconds of silence. Linda let out a small huff of laugh. A hand covered her face as she continued to let out little chuckles and giggles. Frank was extremely confused. “What is-”

“You know Frank, sometimes I wonder if your really as dumb as the doctors say.” Linda said, cutting Frank off. “I mean, after all this shit-all of it! You still call me mom and him dad. You still say you love us. It just blows my mind, boy. I don't know if you are retarded, or I am just missing something.”

“I am retarded.” Frank stated and Linda nodded. She sat up from her bed and stared at her son.

“I know, and I'm glad to hear you've come to grips with it.”

“Why did, you come...to see, m-me? On...On my b-birthday.” Linda remained quiet and Frank figured that he was not going to get an answer. Linda spoke however, her green orbs still resting on her child's face.

“Guess I just wanted you home.” Linda shrugged and brushed her greasy hair away from her face. “A lot of kids think their parents are theirs, you know? They think that their mom is there for them and only them. Their dad is suppose to support them and raise them well. The parents are suppose to support this child and make sure it goes to school, eat, drinks, baths-well you know what, Frank? Adult are just people. You may think I am some super woman. Or you may think that you dad is an asshole. But, really we are just people who fucked up. We could have never supported you. We didn't love you. We were just people who created something good out of a bad relationship. Now, you are a mistake. There is no denying that. But, you are one damn good one. We may have fucked you up, but you still shine. Even if you are retarded, you are still going to come out brighter and better than me and your daddy combined.”

“But, you are, smart.” Frank said feeling teary eyed at his mothers speech.

“I'm as dumb as shit, Frank. Someday you'll see it. You may be stupid, but you are the slow kind of stupid. Everyone else is just a few steps ahead of you. And hey, you'll probably never catch up, but you'll get damn close. You Frank-”

“Why are you so nice, but so bad?” Frank cried, cutting his mother off. His blunt nails dug into his knee as sobs wracked threw his body. “Right now, you-you are so ni-nice. A-And on my b-b-birthday, you hug-ged me. B-But, you n-never d-did that at hom-me. Why couldn't-t you be-be nice-ce, all-ll the tim-me? Why j-just now-w?” Frank looked at his mom with tear filled eyes. He was desperate for answers. He wanted to know his mother before she was sent away. She was sane, sober, and not craving her drugs or alcohol. Now was the opportune time to talk to his mom and get the answers his mind needed to rest.

“Drugs change you, Frank. They cover the person you use to be. They turn you into a monster.”

“You were a monster.” Frank cried and Linda stood up. She wanted so badly to aid her child. She wanted to make it up to him. Linda knew her son would forgive her. It was Frank, a boy who could hate nothing. But if he was normal, he wouldn't even be in this jail room with her.

She stepped closer to the bars that divided the two and stuck her arms between them. Frank stared at his mother with this sad and broken look. Her outstretched arms seemed so inviting, even if bars got in the way of them. Frank stood from his chair and scrambled over to the embrace. They hugged and Frank cried into his mothers shoulder. The bars dug into their chest causing major discomfort, but neither seemed to mind. Linda pressed tighter against the metal wall, willing it to vanish so the loving jester could have more of an effect. Frank pulled away however, and their bonding moment seemed to vanish.

“Fucking fagot!” Linda screamed causing her son to flinch. “You think you are better than me, huh? Can't hug your own damn mother for a few seconds without getting disgusted?”

And now, they were back. The withdrawal that came with every addiction crashed into Linda like a ton of bricks. She didn't see her darling son, who's mind was broken and beaten to death by her sickening words. She just saw a disgrace. The reason the was in jail. The reason for all her misery and hate. Linda wanted Frank dead.

“You fucking retard!” Linda shrieked, her arms latched out and tried to grasp onto Frank. He jumped away, terrified of his mother actions but understanding them. With the lash out, officer Gates came in and quickly jumped to Frank's unneeded help. Linda retracted her arms and spat at the two.

“Mom, I-” Frank started but she cut him off.

“Get that fucking freak out of my sight.” Linda sneered turning her back to the two. She returned to her bed, her knee jumping and her fingers tapping against her shitty bed.

“Come on Frank, your twenty minute are up.” Gate's rested a hand on Frank's shoulder but the boy kindly moved it off. Without speaking a word to his mother, he left the room in search of his grandmother. He found her waiting outside for him and she quickly pulled him into a hug.

“Hey baby,” Marie whispered, kissing the side of Frank's head.

“Can, I just go s-see, Anna?” Frank asked and his grandmother nodded.

“Yea we can go see Anna.”