Under a Paper Moon

“Gustav, why did you do that?” Fraser stared at me wide eyed, backing away from me slightly. I lifted up my fingers and ran them over my lips as I thought about what the fuck had just happened. Shit, no no no NO! I’ve scared him. No. Oh my god. Gustav why the fuck are you such a fail?! Why can’t you do anything right you’ve scared him off now, he’s going to hate you and you’re never going to even be friends! God you’re such an idiot.

“I-I- shit Fraser I’m so s-sorry!” I stuttered as I clambered off the bed and moved quickly towards the door, “I shouldn’t have d-done that oh my god I’m such an idiot oh my g-god,”

I didn’t even wait for a reply before I swung the door open and bolted down the stairs. I knew I couldn’t run away from the situation, if Fraser didn’t confront me about it then John definitely would. I don’t know, I just really really like him; Fraser, not John… that’d be weird if I liked John, I think… But yeah, I’ve only known Fraser for a few days and I don’t think I’ve ever had a crush this big on someone before – how fucking cheesy, a crush ugh, I’m starting to sound like some 13 year old girl crying over her One Direction posters ‘I just love Harry so much! Omg, I can’t handle this why do I have to like him this much? I don’t even know him that well!’ yeah pretty much.

After a few minutes of running, I found myself standing outside the park; how cliché, I know. Think of how many stories you’ve read where the upset guy finds himself standing outside the park? Most of them, I’ll bet. If not all. Oh well, that’s where I was anyway – I made my way over to trees at the other side of the grass, so I could cry without little kids seeing me and laughing. Oh it’s happened before. What does it matter anyway, I felt the warm tears slide down my cheeks already. Oh well, I walked over to the trees anyway, pushing my way through the branches before sitting down on the muddy ground and beginning to sob.

Fuck I’m so damn pathetic. Look at me, crying over some guy who doesn’t even like me. Why the hell would he like me, anyway? Why did I think that because he kissed me when he was drunk meant that he actually liked me? Because he wouldn’t like me, no one would ever think about dating me or having a crush on me or anything like that! I’m so boring and ugly and pathetic! Ugh!

“GUS!” I heard him shout. Dammit he’d followed me. I didn’t want his fake apologies, I just wanted to be left alone, and I didn’t think I could face him right at that moment in time. I was too embarrassed, not to mention I was crying like a fucking idiot.

He must’ve heard me crying though, because after a few moments of hearing him call my name, I saw his face peak through the branches of the trees in front of me. His expression softened as he saw me sitting on the ground crying my eyes out. “Gus…” he repeated and made his way towards me before dropping onto his knees and pulling me into a tight hug. “Smile, what’s wrong?”

He knew damn well what was wrong. I hid my face behind my fringe before replying, “I-I just…I thought you l-liked me, y’know?” I bit my lip, “you k-kissed me and I just…I thought… you were d-drunk and I was an i-idiot to believe you meant it and I’m just…s-sorry. I bet you’re so freaked out now and I-“

He cut me off by pressing his lips to mine. I felt all my muscles tense up as his hands linked together around my waist; he smiled against my lips before pulling away, “If I was freaked out then I wouldn’t have chased after you,” he smiled and pecked my lips, “and for the record…I…I do like you, more than I sh-should actually.”

“You do?!” I gasped, hands rising to cover my mouth in disbelief. No fucking way, we’d only known each other a few days, how could he start to like me in such a short space of time?! Well you started liking him in the same amount of time…. Shut up brain. Make me.

As I was having an argument with myself in my head, Fraser began laughing. What, was I talking out loud or something? I began to chew on the inside of my cheek nervously, “what?” I asked, my voice coming out more worried than I’d intended.

“Nothing,” Fraser giggled, “you looked like you were deep in thought. It was cute.”

I felt my cheeks begin to heat up at his words. Oh my god, I look so bad when I blush, like a tomato. He unwrapped his arms from around me and stood up, offering me his hand to pull me to my feet. Once we were both standing, he began to walk out of the trees, hand still clamped tightly in mine. “Where are we going?” I asked as I looked down at the back of his head.

“Well there’s no point going to school now, is there?” He laughed and pulled me towards the park’s exit. “So why not go and enjoy ourselves somewhere?”

“Um…okay?” I laughed nervously as he began to walk faster. We walked for just a few moments before we came across a small café that I’d never seen before – how long had that been there? The outside was painted a bright purple colour, there was an outline of a coffee cup printed on the window and the cursive writing of the sign made it completely illegible.

“Come on!” Fraser grinned as he pulled me through the door. I was met with a strong smell of coffee, well duh it was a café after all. The place was small and cosy, I liked it. “Two cappuccinos, please,” Fraser was still smiling as he ordered us drinks, before he pulled us to the back corner of the shop where we could talk in peace. God he was really cute.