My Only One

Avoiding the guys became exceptionally difficult for me. Especially avoiding Alex. I wasn't really sure what happened a week ago- it all seemed to blow up extremely quickly. But, Sunday quickly turned to Monday, and then to Tuesday and so on and so forth. I fiddled with my phone, typing and deleteing messages I planned on sending to Jack and Alex. Finally I texted Rian instead, "Help me." I simply put.

He called me, and we talked for a little while. He mentioned how Jack wasn't talking to Alex. How Alex had no clue what the hell had happened, and that he was extremely sorry. Alex was a wreck, Jack was pissed and Rian was mad that his band wasn't performing up to par. Zack- well who knows about Zack, he likes to keep to himself and stay out of the drama. I commend him for that.

The ride from Columbus to Cleveland was dragging on hideously. I had been staying on the couch of Forever The Sickest Kids, and they were more than accommodating. "Rachel! Hey!” Kyle grinned, and popped open a beer and sat across from me at the pull out table.

"Hi." I muttered, deleting the text I went to send to Jack.

"How'd you sleep?" He asked, genuinely.

“Fine.” I replied shortly. His hand slid across the table to grasp mine. I looked up at him and he smiled.

“Are you okay?” He asked. I nodded. “Want to go to a bar with us tonight? Caleb was telling me there’s a really great party going on after the show in Cleveland.”

I thought about it for a moment. Yup, I could use a drink. “Okay, sure.” I smiled, adjusting my pink tank top. “It will be fun.”

The show came and went, and I managed to snap some great shots of Forever The Sickest Kids. I slinked back towards the buses when I was finished, and caught Jack walking the opposite direction with his guitar in his hands. His jaw was hard and his eyes looked blood shot and tired. My stomach clenched, and I sped up. He glanced over at me for a second before sighing and picking up his pace to the stage. I turned and continued towards Kyle’s bus. “Rach! Wait up!” Alex’s voice rang from behind me.

I flipped around whipping my hair. “What?” I snapped, annoyed with Jack and his lack of understanding of the situation.

“Hey, I um…” His hand went to the back of his head and rubbed nervously. “I’m really sorry about last week.” He bit his lip. “I was drunk, and pissed… And I’m an idiot.” He finished.

“Yeah.” I agreed. “Yeah you are.” I swung around to continue to the bus.

“Wait! Rachel!” He grasped my arm and spun me around again. “Jack won’t talk to me.” His eyes had hurt written all over them, and I relaxed.

“Well, he won’t talk to me either- so I don’t know what to tell you.” I put my hand on my hip and waited for an idea to sprout.

Nothing.

“You should talk to him.” He suggested. “Go find him- The Cab has just started their set anyways.”
I nodded slowly, and felt my palms begin to sweat. I hate confrontation, and I was hoping he would just come to his senses. It seemed like it was all up to me though. I groaned inwardly and said goodbye to Alex before making my way back to the stage.

“Jack?” I put my hand on his shoulder and he tensed and turned around. He was watching the set on stage, with his guitar in his hands and his body leaned against the light post. “Hi.” I stammered, idiotically.

“Hi.” He replied looking annoyed and then back at the stage.

“Why are you being so stubborn? It was a mistake. Get over it!” I could feel my palms clenching, and my anger rising. Jack looked at me for a minute, almost looking apologetic but then he turned back to the stage. “What the fuck is your problem?”

“Nothing! I don’t have a problem. Why don’t you go back to your little friends bus and leave me alone for a little while?” He sneered.

“So now it’s about me staying with Kyle, right?”

“No. But I would assume you’re fucking him right? Along with the rest of them?” He spat. My heart collapsed.

“What did you just say?” I whispered, and I don’t think he heard me over the loud noise of the amps and crowd. His eyes became sympathetic and he reached out to grab my hands.

“Rachel- I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have-“

“Save it.” I yanked my hands away from him and jogged away from the stage. I slammed the bus door behind me and began shoving my things into a bag. Tears slid out of my eyes, and I struggled to keep things in focus as I threw things from the boys couch into my bag. I can’t believe I’m already leaving two weeks in to the tour. I rolled my eyes and continued. Kyle stumbled out of the bunk area.

“Hey! Ready for the party?” He grinned. I looked up at him for a second and then back down at my things. Tears dripped off my cheeks and I hitched a breath before collapsing onto the couch sobbing. “Whoa. What happened? What’s wrong?” Kyle sat next to me, and put his arm around me. “Rachel come on-“ He wiped the tears off my face with his thumbs and searched my watering eyes.

“I’m going home.” I muttered.

“Why? We like- just got here? It's only been two weeks! I just got to know you!” He tried. I turned away from him and zipped my bag shut.

“Because… I can’t explain. I just need to be home. I should have never come in the first place. I’m just a pain for everyone, and I can’t do this yet.” I shook my head.

Kyle sighed, “Okay, do you want me to get you a plane ticket?” His big blue eyes looked down at his smart phone. I nodded and a few more tears slipped from my eyes. “Hey-“ Kyle squeezed my shoulders, “It’s going to be alright.”

“Thanks.” I muttered. “You’re a good friend.” I responded pathetically.

An hour later I was sitting at the Cleveland airport alone, with my bags next to me and my phone on silent. 7 missed calls.
Four from Jack.
Two from Alex.
One from Zack.

I sighed and pulled my boarding pass from my bag. My phone’s light flickered on and I pressed it to my ear before looking at the contact. “God Damn, just leave me alone.” I growled loudly.

“Rachel?”

“Dave?” I choked out- my step dad was calling?

“Hi. Uh…” He paused, “It’s about your mom.”

“What about her?” I asked, my chest felt tight all of a sudden.

“I’ve decided to pull the plug.” I felt dizzy, and sick, and I don’t remember much after that.