Don't Let These Boots Fool You

I rolled over and looked at the obnoxious alarm that was in the bathroom. Why had I put my alarm in the bathroom? Why did I have to finish that stupid schedule last night? The team must have had a pretty shity community rep before me. I slowly stomped into the bathroom and unplugged the alarm clock and stepped into the shower. I was going to need a nice piping hot shower if I was going to make it through today’s activities.

The shower didn’t last as long as I needed it to last, but I had to get out and get to work soon or I would get nothing finished. I scrambled around the room and found a dress hanging on my closet and threw it on quickly not realizing it was a tad bit revealing until I strapped on my Michelle D heels. I had no time to change dresses, "great" I muttered as I quickly moved through the halls. I was almost out the door when I noticed Joe.

“Shit” I muttered as I opened the door to the porch and let him out into the fenced in yard. “No tearing things up Joe. The neighbors will get you.” The cute German Sheppard looked at me with his still puppy grin and slobbered. “Gross. Miss you too bud.” I said quickly shutting the door and running out the front door so I wouldn’t be late.

My car didn’t belong on the streets of Pittsburgh, let alone any big northern city. I had gotten the family truck, a truck big enough to haul the horses to shows in. My dad felt bad about me having to move up north and wanted me to keep a piece of home with me at all times. He had even given me a special card just for gas because he knew it would be hard to pay for gas at first with how often I would be driving into the city.

I was just merging onto what appeared to be an empty highway and heard my phone blaring from my purse and cursed. “Kelly O’Neil” I stated with out a hello or how may I help you.

“Kelly, we need you to head to the practice rink, it’s programed into your GPS that we gave you. Unfortunately our playboy of the year was out last night and got a little wild. I know you aren’t our PR person but we need a voice of reason to save face if fans get a little crazy.” my advisor told me as I quickly hit buttons on the GPS and hung up the phone.

“Grown ass men acting like a bunch of five year old children in church.” He was in for a rude awakening when I got to the rink. They had been there for 45 minutes when I had finally got there and marched through the doors and fans onto the ice. Walking on the slick ice prooved to be difficult in heels. I knew I could be louder than them but I didn’t want to over run Dan’s authority by interrupting practice.

I walked up to Dan and looked him straight in the eyes “Look Dan I need to have a word with the guys. Can I get them in the locker room?” Dan looked a little skeptical as I asked to have a meeting in the middle of practice. He glanced down at me and I shrugged my shoulders at him.

“Don’t pause practice, I’ll handle it and don’t come in the locker room. You might get a little concerned.” I muttered as I huffed and marched right out in the middle of the ice cautiously. Hands on my hips, my Michelle D’s making it hard to stand on ice. “Stop! All of you on me.”

The guys quickly came up some muttering that they would jump on me in a heartbeat. I was enraged at those disgusting comments. I almost hit them all in the face with a wet noodle. “Locker room now. You don’t start skating there in ten seconds I will have your skates, I wont let you return to practice and your knee caps might be broken. Don’t try me I had three brothers and they were all older, all played football and one is actually in the NFL so don’t try me.” I wasn't as mad at their behavior in the papers as I was about thier behavior to women in person.

I watched as some of the guys started skating off quickly to the locker rooms I smiled and looked at the fans that looked disappointed, “Don’t worry y’all. Meditation they forgot to wait for me to have our daily meditation.” The fans had looks of understanding and quickly ignored the fact that they were headed to the locker room.

The last player had skated off the ice and I started toward the locker room quickly after them. I stopped outside the door to hear the chatter it was somewhat amusing to me. “Who does she think she is stopping practice” “why the hell is she here” and the best one “She has brothers in the NFL” I pushed the doors opened and the chatter stopped.

“Glad to see you boys learned one thing from yesterday, although your respect is very low since I heard every thing you just said.” I smirked at all of them. I wanted to go through and embarrass every single one of them until they didn’t want to return to skate. “Helmets off, gloves off and sticks on the floor. Be quiet about it too, no words out of your mouths.” They were all getting on my nerves and I was starting to think that kindergarten students behaved better than these grown men.

I looked directly at Jordan, not wanting to call him out but letting him know I knew. As I was about to look away he just shrugged and grinned. Then he started smiling as he mouthed, “I’d have you screaming too” I nearly came unglued with rage.

I looked over my shoulder and saw a dangling whistle near the door. I grabbed the whistle hanging as the chatter started again. As I blew the whistle all noise stopped and their eyes were on me. “Alright look I stopped practice because I have a little issue with your behavior. Don’t start Marc” I pointed right at him. I was not done, I was far from done with this conversation. “Look I thought all y’all were grown ass men, could take care of your self but apparently I was wrong.” I turned to look at every one of them.

I smiled a wicked smile because I now needed to let Dan in on my plan. I turned my back on the guys and walked in the hallway and saw him standing against the wall. “Sorry Dan. I have a question. How annoyed do you get with the guys lives outside of hockey?” I knew many coaches weren’t concerned once you were out of their practice and still performed.

“Honestly, it bothers the hell out of me. My son looks up to them and wants to be just like them, and the people who are out in those stands look up to them too. I want them to set a good example.” I nodded my head as he spoke and figured out a quick explanation for why the boys couldn’t return and told Dan to tell the fans.

The locker room was still silent and I watched them like hawks. “Gear off all of y’all are done for the day. Do it quick please.” They all looked at me funny, as I didn’t move no one stood to get up and change.

Sid stood up and glanced at me quickly, “Uh, yeah we’re not changing with you in here.”

I started to cackle and they looked at me like I was a lunatic. I was nearly crying because I thought it was so funny that they would dip hands in girls skirts and almost have sex on a dance floor but in front of me it was a different story. “Wait let me get this straight y’all aren’t going to change in front of me?” Their head shook quickly from side to side. “Oh see from what I’ve read in the newspapers you all seem to like dipping hands in girls panties, pants, skirts, maybe get a little dick slip on the floor. What am I wrong? Why can’t you change in front of me?”

I knew why my brothers had explained it when I had to stay in the locker room with my dad after football practice, and all of the guys would wait for the stall. I was ‘gorgeous’ in their words and me seeing them at a vulnerable time was not okay in their minds.

I walked up to the white board and grabbed the marker I was holding earlier and started to write on the board:

Kelly’s Rules:
1) Respect of me
2) Respect of women
3) Alcohol consumption
4) Practice
5) Charity events
6) Game night celebrations

The groans from the guys made me turn around quickly. “What’s wrong with this? I have yet to explain it.” I chucked after their groan.

I saw Sidney look up at me and open his mouth but quickly was interrupted by Kris, “Why are your rules about women, alcohol and games? I mean I figured it would have been something like get in line and lets see who’s the best at meeting your needs”

I walked up to him and leaned down forgetting about me dress. I saw him glance down and smacked him once across the back of the head. I squatted down elegantly and looked him in the eyes. “I have a quick question did you read rule number one?” he nodded his head in a shy fashion. “Good please tell your teammates what rule number one is.” I stood and watched him get upset that I had seriously embarrassed him.

“Rule number one is to respect Kelly” I smiled and nodded my head as my hand connected with the back of his head again. “Hey! What was that for?”

I turned as I had returned to my white board. “Look I know you’re all at least 20 years old. It’s time you started acting like it. Now if any of you blatantly break my rules like Kris did, be ready for a smack, punch and or loss of a stick for practice. I’ve talked to Dan he agrees that you all act like horny fifteen year old boys. It’s time to grow up, there are little boys out in the stands who look up to you all." I was trying to keep my voice calm as to not embrass the boys further.

“Onto the rules. Number one, Kris just showed you rule number one. You will treat me with the respect of your mother. I am fragile merchandise. You will not make snide comments, question what my methods are and you will not make passes at me in a crude manner. Got it?” I moved around the room and looked at every one of them. I was beginning to feel like a mother of 20 instead of an employee who was supposed to make sure these guys showed up for a charity event.

“Rule two, respect of women.” The guys all snapped their heads up and got worried I was going to tell them they couldn’t have sex any more. “Thank your playboys in the room for this one.” The guys groaned.

Marc stood and walked over to Jordan and smacked him upside the head. “What did I tell you about being an asshole towards women. You treat them like the nicest car in the world.” I applauded him for saying it. Marc quickly walked back to his seat and looked at her, “sorry, please continue.”

I was glad that some of the other guys on the team were not thrilled with their teammates behavior. I nodded to him and turned my attention to them all. “I’m not saying you can’t have sex with someone but this,” I held the tabloid up that had Jordan with his hand down the front of some underage girls pants with her standing in front of him. The room erupted in groans of displeasure.

“Damn it Gronk. What the hell were you thinking?” This time it was Jordan’s partner in crime Kris who spoke up. I was shocked that kris was the one who spoke up. “We’ve told you countless times not to go there because all the underage girls can get in and will do exactly this.” I watched as Jordan put his face in his hands and sat quietly for a second. I couldn't tell if he was upset with what he had done or if he was trying to hide his glory.

I let the room settle again as I sat in the chair in front of the room. I waited for him to look up at me. I would not start speaking again until he looked at me and he needed to learn that. The silence continued to wear on the room and cause a discomfort between the other players. Jordan quickly glanced up to see why it was silent.

“I’m not going to call you out more Jordan but this goes for all of you. If all of you are appalled by not only his behavior but others behavior like this I think you need to listen to what I have to say.” I turned stood and turned around, I couldn’t say some of these things to these guys they would think I didn’t know what sex was that I was some prude who was wanting them to wear purity rings.

I sighed as I turned back around and tried to find the right words, I was just some girl that I’m sure they all thought about plowing but I wasn’t that kind of girl, I wasn’t even going to get involved with them. Hell I had a man he was supposed to call me too. That had me furrowing my eyebrows confusing the guys. “Sorry. What I want you all to do is this; think about what your teammates would say if they saw it in a paper. What your mother would say. If they would be angry don’t do it. First I don’t want anyone to take a girl home at all this week. This is lesson one. Don’t let the bad girls who jump for your wallet scare you away. If you wait and actually try to get past sex appeal you’ll actually find a good girl who won’t be like this." I held up a picture of their ex teammate Max Talbot with his hands down a shirt of one girl and up a skirt of another girl. “This is not what Penguins Hockey is—”

My phone started ringing and I had to jog to grab it off of the desk, “O’Niel” I muttered as the guys stared at me. I couldn’t leave them in here because I knew they would wonder why I had walked out.

“Hey babe” I heard on the other end of the line.

“Oh my god! Michael how are you I didn’t know if something was wrong.” I was in full girl mode and knew I’d have to explain later if the guys asked questions. “I’ve missed you so much. When do you have a night off?”

“Babe I helped you move in last week calm down. Breath how are the boys treating you?”

I laughed at him because we were total opposites. I had fallen for a guy named Michael McKenry when we were younger and as he was drafted into the MLB we stayed in touch and realized we both cared deeply about each other and I knew that I could count on him for anything and it was great that we were in the same city but I couldn’t stand the city and he knew it. He had been forced to move here and I some how willingly came because of him.

“Oh you know how athletes are, they see a piece of ass like this and start chasing it down thinking they can dip their fingers in the honey jar. They should meet mama, god they’d have bruises up their arms from the smacks she lays out.” I smiled as all the guys looked at me and were shocked by the sudden confidence coming from my mouth. I had tried to play off the quiet commanding girl but clearly Michael was bringing out the real me.

“How about dinner tonight, seven.”

“How could you spring this on me what am I going to wear? I can’t be ready with one days notice.” I laughed. “You know I’m only joking. I’ll find something see you at 6:30?” I confirmed and hung up the phone.

I walked back to the guys and they were shocked, “What it’s my boyfriend Michael McKenry.” The guys all stared and couldn’t believe what I had just told them. I think they all thought that I was some geeky girl who couldn’t even land a guy unless he was pushing himself on me.