Unknown Pleasures

A kid is a huge responsibility to give to a sixteen year old boy, and to be fair, no one really gave me this responsibility. I just knew that when my mom left a year ago, and then my dad started drinking, that no one was going to look after me anymore, much less my little brother. So I stepped up and decided to take care of him myself. It’s not as if I wasn’t already practically raising him. Ever since he was born mom and dad started having marital problems. It wasn’t Teddy’s fault. It’s just that he’s got these piercing blue eyes that can’t be traced back to either side of the family. Dad accused mom of cheating.

I can’t say that he was terribly wrong because five years later, mom left him for a guy who’s eyes match Teddy’s perfectly.

That’s when dad started ruining his liver. I can’t say I blame him for that either. What I can blame him for, though, is being an alcoholic. And a violent one at that. I take most of the hurtful words and near hits. Dad’s never actually laid a finger on either one of us. I don’t want Teddy to have to deal with any of it. It’s bad enough that he sees it.

This was all a year ago. I’m nearly eighteen now, holding down a full time job, maintaining a 3.5 GPA, and raising a six year old. It’s a wonder that I’m not insane by now.

My bosses help a lot though. They understand my situation and help a lot, especially with Teddy. They never mind when I bring him to work with me, which is three out of five times a week. The record store isn’t a half bad place to bring him either. He’s learning to play the piano and listening to some great music and meeting interesting people from all walks of life. Everyone loves him. How could anyone not love a face like his?

I don’t think that anyone loves him more than Carter does though. My best friend, my coworker, and my boss. His family owns the store. He gave me the job three years ago and we instantly bonded over our similar tastes in music, movies, humor, and so much more. The first time he met Teddy he sat in the office and played Chutes and Ladders with him for four hours. That’s what made me fall in love with him. But who has time for that?

The dismissal bell rings, signaling the beginning of a three day weekend. I snap my attention back to my English teacher who is trying and failing to give us a reading assignment. I copy down the pages and give him a sympathetic smile on my way out. I stop by my locker for five minutes to gather what I need for the weekend and joke around with my friends, before I pull away and head out.

The elementary school is only three blocks away from the high school which is helpful, and there is a group of moms who stay for a few hours after school each day and watch the kids on the playground, make sure they’re safe, that way parents who work late are able to rest easy. It’s a great help when I have a lot of homework to do. Plus, Teddy loves playing with his friends every day so it’s a win win. Volunteer moms are a godsent.

I spot Teddy easily and he runs up to me with his hands cupped. I brace myself, ready for a frog to jump out, but instead, a caterpillar crawls its way up his arm. “Cool huh?”

“The coolest.” I grin. “Why don’t you set him free and go get your book bag so we can get going?” I suggest.

He nods and runs off, returning quickly with his things. “Can we rent a movie and build a fort like we did last week?”

“I have to work tonight bud. You know that.”

“Can I just stay home and play with dad then?” He asks, cocking his head.

I sigh and kneel down to his level. “No, you have to come with me today. Dad’s home and he’s not in a good mood. We finished off his cereal this morning, remember?”

“But it was the only thing to eat, Ryan.” He says, blinking his blue eyes up at me. “He won’t get mad about that, right?”

“I don’t know buddy, and I’m not willing to risk the chance that he is.” I sigh. “Please just- let’s go. Carter works today, you know. I’m sure he’ll take you for some ice cream on his break if you ask nicely.”

At this he perks up and takes my offered hand. “Do I have to sit in the office again or can I sit on the couch?”

I shoulder his backpack along with mine. “Do your homework first and then you can sit in the lounge.”

“Awh, but Ryan! It’s Friday!”

“If you do it now then you don’t have to worry about it all weekend. That’s three whole days.” I tell him. We argue all the way to the store, him finally caving and agreeing to do it today, but only if we build a fort tomorrow.

Unknown Pleasures is built on one of the only hills in New York which just adds to its charm. From the outside it looks small but then you walk inside and you’re blown away. It’s very deep and there’s two floors worth of music and memorabilia. The front is dedicated to vintage tshirts and other band memorabilia. The back holds the tape and CD collections, and even a few 8tracks. The upstairs hosts the record collection, the lounge, and the employee office. All together there are about ten people who work here, and four of them own the place. It’s usually two of the managers and then two of the employees. I think I’m the only one of them who works full time.

I take Teddy straight up to the office and punch in before helping him set his things up. Once he’s squared away I head to my position at the front of the store behind the vintage register. Barely two minutes pass before Carter is by my side. We launch into a conversation, helping customers as they come and entertaining Teddy when he seeks our company. He gets his ice cream, as promised, and even gets a new CD that Carter picked out for him.

Before it really seems like it, it’s time to close. Carter offers to drive us home, as usual. “Call me if you need me.”

“Of course, old man.” Teddy laughs.

“Hey! I’m only twenty-two.” Carter protests.

“That’s a whole five years older than Ryan.” He points out.

I shrug. “It’s true.”

“Well then maybe I’m too old to drive. Next time you can walk.” He jokes.

I laugh. “Seriously though, thanks for the ride.”

Carter’s face turns serious, and he looks at me with the compassion I’ve seen a thousand times. Or maybe it’s pity. “Anytime Ryan. Seriously. And I want you to call me if you need anything. Even just to talk.”

“I always do.”

He smiles and hugs me over the center console. “I know. Now goodnight you two.”

We both say goodnight too and head inside. Dad is nowhere to be found which means he’s passed out in bed already. I breathe a sigh of relief and then lead Teddy upstairs. I run him a bath and supervise him before putting him to bed and taking a shower of my own. By the time I’m in bed it’s midnight, but I just can’t find it in me to be tired. Thoughts of Carter run through my head, so I pick up my phone and press speed dial two, knowing he’ll be up.

“Couldn’t go an hour without me huh?” He answers.

“I can’t sleep.” I explain.

“Yeah, me either.” He confesses. “I guess we should not sleep together then.”

“My thoughts exactly.” I smile. Just then my door bangs open and I jump up.

“What was that?” Carter questions.

“My dad. Hold on.” I request, waiting for his agreement before putting the phone to my shoulder. “Yeah, dad?”

“You shouldn’t be having your brother out so late, especially in this part of the city.” He slurs.

“Sorry dad, I didn’t get off until late.”

“Then maybe you shouldn’t be taking him to work at all.” He staggers forward. “That isn’t a place for any kid.”

“Yeah, well it’s better than leaving him here with you to watch you get drunk.” I retort.

“Shut the fuck up.” He practically growls. “You don’t know anything. I’m his father and I’m your father too and I know what’s best for you boys.”

“No, you don’t. When’s the last time you actually cooked for us? Do you even know where I work? Or what Teddy’s allergic to?” I scoff. “You haven’t known what was best for me since before mom left.”

Suddenly a pain explodes in my cheek. Then again in my nose. Immediately there’s blood everywhere. He fucking hit me.

“Don’t you dare mention that bitch in my house.” Dad growls before staggering back out of my room. I hear a few crashes, signifying that he knocked over a few picture frames and turned over the hallway table in a fit of rage.

I sit in shock for a minute. He actually hit me. He’s never done that before. What the hell? I jump up and grab a towel, pressing it to my nose to stop the bleeding. It takes me a while to remember that Carter is still on the phone.

“Hey, sorry about that.” I say, attempting to hide the fact that my nose is still gushing.

“Ryan, what’s wrong?” He demands. Sometimes I hate that he can read me so well.

“Nothing.” I lie.

“Ryan.”

I sigh. I really can’t hide anything from him. “He hit me.”

“What?” He asks immediately. “Ryan, are you serious? What happened?”

“I said something about mom.” I say quietly. “And he punched me.”

“I’m coming to get you.”

“What?” Now it’s my turn to be confused.

“Get some things together for you and Teddy. You’re staying with me tonight. “

“Carter, no. That isn’t necessary.”

“Look,” He says forcefully. “Right now it isn’t safe for you to be in that house. Not with your father still drunk and walking around and- and hitting you. Something worse could happen to you, or worse yet, to Teddy. Now get your stuff together, I’ll be there in five minutes,” With that he hangs up.

I don’t have time to fawn over him because five minutes isn’t long to get two overnight bags ready. I sneak into Teddy’s room quietly and wake him gently. He’s adorably confused when I pick him up. “What’s going on?”

“We’re spending the night with Carter, wont that be fun?” I ask. Teddy just nods and lays his head on my shoulder, falling back to sleep. I thank god that he didn’t ask about the gauze in my nose. That wouldn’t be fun to explain to him. I mean, I could always lie but he deserves the truth. I tiptoe downstairs and see that dad is passed out on the couch. I’m even quieter opening and closing the door.

Carter is parked outside as promised. He helps me settle Teddy into the backseat and doesn’t say anything on the ride to his apartment. He actually stays silent until we’re in his living room. “Teddy can sleep on the couch.”

“Yeah, I’ll take the floor.” I agree, settling Teddy’s head onto the pillow on the couch and covering him with a blanket.

“Uh, my bed is a queen size. Big enough for two.” He offers. I turn and look at him, really look at him. He crosses the room and gently takes my chin in his hand. “Jeez, Ryan. He got you good.”

“Is it really that bad?”

“You haven’t looked in a mirror yet, have you?” He asks. I shake my head and he leads me into the bathroom. I’m almost afraid to look in the mirror. A large bruise covers the majority of my cheek and my nose looks a lot redder than normal.

“God, I look awful.” I moan.

“It could be worse.” Carter shrugs. “You’re still mighty cute if you ask me.”

“Yeah, well no one asked you.” I smile, trying not to blush and failing miserably.

He smiles and shakes his head, gently probing my injured cheek. “Just take the compliment.” He says softly.

I look up at him through my lashes. “Okay.”

Carter gives me one of those looks again and this time I’m sure it’s one of compassion. “You really are cute, you know.”

“Yeah, you’ve made a habit of telling me every day.” I say, looking away.

Carter ducks back into my vision. “Good.” He smiles, kissing my forehead. “Now, come on. It’s past your bedtime.”

I roll my eyes. “Are you sure it’s okay that I sleep in your bed?”

“Yeah.” He smiles. “Come on. I won’t bite or anything, promise.” I follow him to his room. It’s bigger and cleaner than I expected it, his bed the focal point of it all. He crawls in on one side and I curl up under the covers of the other.

“Thank you Carter.” I whisper.

“For what?” He laughs.

“Everything.” I sigh. “You were right. It was important that we got out tonight. I just- I can’t believe he actually hit me.” I take a shaky breath and try in vain not to cry. Before too long I’m all out heaving. I mean yeah, sure, no one would ever give my dad a father of the year award but I always thought that he was above hitting either one of us, especially for something as petty as just mentioning mom in conversation.

Not only that, but my entire life is a wreck. I’m graduating in two months and I have no plans for after that except for staying home, raising Teddy, and working at Unexpected Pleasures. It’s not exactly the life I wanted, especially since I’m four months away from being eighteen.

Carter wraps is arms around me and whispers comforting words, effectively calming me down. I wrap my arms around him too and no words are exchanged as we fall asleep wrapped in the intimate embrace. At least something good has come out of all of this.