Infinite and Indestructible

I slowly open my eyes and immediately squeeze them shut when I realize how bright it was. Where was I? I soon come to realisation where I was a few moments later…in a hospital room. White walls surrounded me, no splash of color anywhere. As I slowly sit up, I groan a bit and look down to see a bunch of wires hooked up to my arm and bandages on both of my arms. Liam was sitting uncomfortably in the chair beside the bed I was lying in. He had a tight grip on my hand like he never wanted to let go.

“W-what…w-where am I, Li?” I mumble and clear my throat as I sit up, wincing a bit. There were so many wires hooked up to my arm that seemed endless. He sits up in the chair and tightens his grip on my hand.

“In the hospital, Ash. You don’t remember what happened?” he asks and leans forward, pushing some hair out of my eyes, a small smile on his face. My smile is immediately wiped off my face when I notice the tears welling up in his eyes and the fact he looked like he’d been crying. I shake my head and try to sit up but am pushed back by Liam’s other hand.

“I came home and found you passed out in the tub f-from…from c-cutting too deep, you lost a lot of blood so that’s why you have all these wires and stuff hooked up to you,” he says and that’s when I remember what had happened a day ago. My day went to hell after those stupid bitches were yelling all the b-s to me, when I went to the mall with El and after we got back, I began to cut, only intending to do it once but didn’t want to stop.

I grab hold of the sharp blade and set the box on the closed toilet lid. “I need this…” I mumble to myself as I hold the blade steady in between my fingers about to pierce the newly wet skin on my right wrist. “Just once…” I mumble to myself once more before I push the cold blade against my skin and bring it over slowly, blood oozing from the cut I made.

“I…when can we leave?” I ask as I look at the boy with red eyes that was proof he’d been crying. “I w-want t-to go h-home,” I mumble as I stare at him. Just the sight of seeing Liam like that brought tears to my own eyes. I sniffle and move a hand to cover my mouth to muffle the cries from my mouth. The tears were steadily falling down my flushed cheeks.

“They need to keep an eye on you for a few more days, babe, to make sure this won’t happen again,” he says with a small smile and I feel him take my hand in his, slowly running his finger over my hand that had the oxygen clamp thing on my index finger.

“Oh,” I mutter softly as I look over to the closed door. Liam clears his throat and sits up in the chair beside the bed I was lying in. He smiles at me and leans close so his face was hovering above me, careful of the wires that were everywhere. I could feel his breath against my cool skin, heating me up a bit from waking up to find myself in this room that felt like a freezer.

“I love you so much, baby, I was scared,” he says before pressing a soft kiss to my lips before pulling away slightly, and continues on, “So scared something was going to happen to you,” he finishes and kisses me once more before resting his forehead against mine.

I can’t help but smile as I look up at him after pulling away from me. “I love you too, Li, so much,” I tell him and squeeze his hand that he was holding on to. “I’m not going anywhere,” I finish and give him a smile.

Liam clears his throat and sits up so he was beside me, “Ash, I may head down in a bit and get something to eat. ‘m starvin’, love,” he gives me a small smile and leans forward, pressing his lips against my cheek. “Want me to bring you something back?” I smile and nod back slowly.

“Think El and the lads are coming up later, and heard from your parents last night, said they’ll be here any time now,” he finishes, moving his hand forward and brushing some of my blond hair from my face before giving me a kiss on the cheek.

Liam stands up slowly and gives me a small smile. “Love you, beautiful, I’ll be back soon, promise,” he squeezes my hand a bit and looks at me, a loving yet sad look in his eye like he didn’t want to leave me. I didn’t want him to either but I could manage for a few hours.

“Love you too, babe,” I reply as Liam makes it to the door, fumbling with something in his front pocket of his shorts. His phone, most likely. As he reaches the door, it swings open and I look over to see one of the nurses walk in and I notice a few other figures standing there, but I couldn’t quite notice who they were.

A few figures step through the door, one was a nurse and I was unsure of the other two. A smile makes its way across my face when I see my mum and dad both standing there behind the nurse. “Ashley, so great to see you’re awake, love,” my mum gives me a smile and rushes forward to engulf me into a hug. I smile and give her a firm nod as we part from the hug.

“I’ll be quick, love, need to check your bandages and see how their doing,” the nurse gives me a small smile and makes her way to the side of my bed and begins to check them. She has a package in her hand, some gauze, I presume, to change the bandages on my arm. I wince a bit, as she pulls the gauze and tape from my skin, not really wanting to see the cuts I made. I squeeze my eyes shut.

“And we’re all good,” she says as she finishes placing the new bandages over my arms. I give her a small smile and thank her as I lie back in the bed.

“I’ll be back to check on her in a bit,” I hear the nurse tell my parents who nod their heads. My mum tightens her grip on my hand and takes a seat in the chair Liam was in before.

“Your father and I were so worried somethin’ was going to happen, why did you let this happen?” she asks, eyes tearing up, a frown set on her face. I sit up a bit and pull her into a hug, smiling a bit, my eyes tearing up. She lets out a slight sob and tightens her arms around me, careful of the wires.

“I d-don’t know, I just…couldn’t handle all the shit those crazy fans of Liam’s were saying about me and it just…happened. Sorry,” I mumble as I feel my tears slowly cascade down my cheeks.

“You scared us all half to death, Ashley, I don’t know what we would’ve done if anything went wrong. Did you even think of the consequences?” my mother cries and I can’t help but help the tears that fall down from my eyes, tightening my arms around her. The many sobs leave my mouth as I mutter over and over that I wouldn’t do it again.

“We love you, Ash, so much, darling,” my father says with a sad smile, and leans forward to pull me into a hug after my mum and I pull away.

“I l-love you t-too, I-I’m s-so sorry, really, I am,” I sob and frantically wipe at my eyes.

There is soon a light knock on the door. My dad and I part from the hug and I glance over to the doorway to find Liam, a paper bag and drink in each of his hands, along with numerous figures behind him, a smile on his face. I smile at the sight of my boyfriend and sit up in this uncomfortable bed.

“Love you sweetie, we’ll come back in a bit to see how you’re doing,” my mum kisses my forehead and squeezes my hand lightly. My dad gives me a squeeze on my hand along with a smile before the two of them make their way out of the room, after whispering something to Liam I couldn’t quite catch. I notice him nod his head and comes forward to me.

“Hi love. How are you feeling, babe?” he asks as he walks in the room. He leans forward and gives me a small kiss on the lips. I smile and kiss him back real quick before pulling away. He takes a seat in the chair he was in before and took hold of my hand.

“Good, Li, just hungry, and tired from being in here all day practically,” I say as I notice Eleanor and Louie walk in along with Niall, Harry, Zayn as well. Eleanor had tear-stained cheeks and Louis held onto his girlfriend’s waist as they enter the room.

“Oh my god, Ash. How are you feeling? I’m so incredibly sorry, love. I shouldn’t have left you there alone, god, I’m so glad you’re okay,” Eleanor mutters as she comes forward and embraces me in a hug, careful of the many wires surrounding my body. I let out a choked sob as I hug my best friend.

“You doin’ a bit better, babe? Li tells us they ‘ave to keep you a few more days,” Zayn says with a sympathetic smile. I nod my head and give him a small smile in return. Each of the boys come and give me a hug careful of the mad amount of wires surrounding me.

“What did you bring back for me? I’d like to eat somethin’ before I pass out,” I question with a slight chuckle as I turn back to Liam who took my hand in his and softly runs his thumb over my fingertips. He smiles and grabs the bag off the table. I guess he must’ve set the drink on the ground so he wouldn’t drop it. Smart move, Li. He soon pulls out what looked like chicken strips and some fries. Louis is helpful by pushing the tray over so I can set my food down.

“Hope you like these, babe. Haz thought that’s what you’d want,” Liam says as I begin to eat my food. I nod my head in response since I was too busy stuffing my face. It was great, way better than the crappy hospital food I had earlier. Hospital food was never good at any time. After a while, I finish my food and drink that Liam brought for me. I chat with El for a little while before she had to go study for university and Louie went along with her. The other boys, Niall, Zayn and Harry left after a while, too, leaving me with Liam.

“I love you, gorgeous,” Liam whispers with a smile sits back in the chair he was in, lacing his fingers with mine. I tell him I love him too and let my eyes slip shut. I was tired and let sleep take over my body. All I knew was that I wanted to go home soon. I haven’t even been in here a full day, I don’t think, and I want to go home, where I can lie in my own bed with Liam by my side.