So Far Away

Days passed by really fast and before I knew it, I was already seven months pregnant. My belly was getting really big, a lot bigger than with Mason. I was afraid that if the baby got any bigger, it wouldn't be able to fit its way out.

Because of the pregnancy, I was sweating a lot more and was often out of breath. I also felt like I had to pee, like, every ten seconds and had peed my pants more than just once.

We had found out that we were having a baby girl this time. I was really happy, I mean, I already had a son who would be a great big brother to my daughter.

My relationship with Jimmy was fine, I guess. We had been living in separate houses for over a month already and it was a good thing for us. Jimmy got to do his thing without an annoying wife nagging all the time and I got to focus on what was important – myself and the baby.

I often realized that I wasn't in the place that I wanted to be in my life. My marriage sucked and I soon had two kids with a man that I probably wouldn't be spending the rest of my life with. I didn't want my kids to have a broken home and parents that weren't together anymore. Mason had already seen and heard too much of his parents fighting and I didn't want my daughter to go through that, too...

Well, anyway, it was a special day.

Johnny, Jimmy's bandmate, was getting married to his sweetheart Lacey.

Jimmy and I had been invited to the wedding but we weren't going there together, mostly because we weren't ”together” at that moment. I mean, sure, we were married but we were having a little break from all of it.

I was wearing a new floral pattern dress to the wedding since it was summer and I couldn't fit my chubby self into any of my older dresses. For a pregnant woman, I thought I looked decent. I mean, it was hard to look nice when you felt like a whale.

Anyway, I went to the ”after party” of the wedding because I felt like I couldn't sit through the whole ceremony thingy without having to use the toilet for at least ten times.

As I got there, to Johnny and Lacey's house and backyard where the party was being held, everyone was there already.

It seemed like it was a rather small, intimate party. I only saw their close friends and family there.

Actually, I didn't see that many familiar faces there and it took me a while to find Brian and Zacky near the booze table.

”Hey Rach – holy fuck! You've become huge since the last time I saw you!” Zacky exclaimed as his eyes went down to my baby belly. He finished his drink and grabbed another one from the table.

”It's really nice to see you, too,” I said and rolled my eyes.

”Jimmy was looking for you a while ago,” Brian told me as he reached closer to touch my bump. The baby started kicking a moment later.

”The baby probably thinks that I'm the dad,” Brian said and laughed as he pulled his hand away.

”Probably. It's not like a man has touched me in a month, anyway,” I said with a shrug.

”How are things with the two of you?” Brian asked me and slapped Zacky's back, ”Zacky, get the
pregnant lady something to drink!”

”We're okay, I guess. I mean... He's probably talked to you more than to me about all this stuff,” I said quietly and shrugged.

”He doesn't feel good about this. He drinks way more and he's afraid that you won't let him be there when the baby comes,” he told me.

”I don't really know what to do. I mean, first something bad happens, then we're suddenly fighting, then we're suddenly okay again, and then some shit goes down again and it all starts again.”

”It'll be okay,” Brian said and gave me a quick hug before Zacky handed me a bottle of water.

”Sorry. It was the only non-alcoholic thing I could find here,” he said with a grin.

”It's okay, thanks,” I said and flashed a quick smile before noticing Johnny and Lacey who were talking to some people.

I quickly made my way to them and congratulated them both. I tried to be as positive as possible since I didn't want to ruin their happiness by letting them know that not all marriages were going to be as perfect as you'd thought they'd be.

After wandering around the place for a moment, I finally ran into Jimmy.

He was smoking cigars with some people by the pool. After seeing me, he put away the cigar and walked to me.

”You look nice,” he told me.

”Thanks, you too. Very handsome,” I said with a nod.

”So, uh... How are you?” he asked me.

The whole situation was beyond awkward. It was as if we were forcing ourselves to keep up a conversation.

”You know, I'm good, the baby's good, Mase is good,” I said with a nod, ”And you?”

”Oh, I'm alright. I could drive you back to your mom's place after this and pick up Mason,” he said. I nodded.

”And, you know, you could come back home with us...”

”I'm not ready for that, Jimmy,” I said and sighed, ”And, besides, aren't you guys going away to Vegas or something?”

”Oh, yeah, in a few days. We're going to play a show there and after that get fucked up,” he said and grinned.

”Sounds... Like a fun thing to do,” I said.

”Do you want to come with us? I mean, all the other girls are going to be there...”

”No, no. I'd rather stay home these last months before the baby comes.”

”Live a little, Rach. You never do anything fun anymore.”

”Not to sound like a complete bitch, but I'm kind of over that. I'm focusing on living my life and taking care of my children,” I told him.

”I get that but you could have some fun, too.”

”I can't have fun. See, I'm the one making it possible for you to have fun. When you go to Vegas to party with your friends, I'm staying home and looking after our child,” I said.

”Fine, okay, I don't want to argue about this at a wedding.”

After being at the party for a few hours, my feet were really sore from all the walking and I just wanted to get to mom's place and get some rest, maybe watch some TV, eat some pizza and talk with mom.

As promised, Jimmy drove me home (by home I meant my mom's place because that's where I was living at that moment).

But before going there, we stopped by at our place, my actual home.

”What are we doing here?” I mumbled as I got out of the car.

As Jimmy didn't answer me, I decided to follow him into the house. He led me into his drum kit room – except that it wasn't his drum kit room anymore.

I looked at the room with my wide eyes and, honestly, felt like I could shed a few tears.

The walls were pink, the floor was white, and my god, it was the cutest room I had ever seen.

There were tons of toys and little teddy bears and a white crib and, and, and...

It was our daughter's room.

”Oh my god, Jimmy!” I exclaimed and covered my mouth with my hand, ”It looks... So cute!”

”I thought you'd like it,” he said and wrapped an arm around my shoulders before quickly pulling it away.

I cleared my throat and nodded.

”This is really nice,” I told him, ”Thank you, for doing this.”

”Well, if I'm going to have a daughter, she's going to need a room, right?”

”Exactly,” I said and nodded.

After leaving our place, Jimmy drove me to mom's place.

I thanked him for the ride as he walked me to the front door. I opened the door and shouted for Mason.

”Mase, come here, it's daddy!” I exclaimed.

It only took the little guy a few seconds to run to us and hug his dad.

”Honey, I'll see you tomorrow, okay?” I asked with a smile as I leaned closer to kiss Mason's cheek.

He nodded and gave me a hug before walking over to Jimmy's car.

”Hey, Jimmy?”

”Yeah?”

”Thanks,” I said and flashed a smile. He nodded and took a step away from me.

”I'll see you tomorrow, then,” he said and was about to leave.

”Jimmy?”

”Yeah?” he turned around and looked at me. I took a step closer to him and wrapped my arms around his neck, pulling him into a hug.

And once I was so close to him, I never wanted to let go. It felt so good to have his arms around me, holding me close to his body.

”I miss you,” he whispered into my ear as he stroked my back with his hands.

”I miss you, too,” I mumbled and took a deep breath in.

I pulled his hair gently and enjoyed his scent.

He pulled back too early and I wanted to stop him from leaving but I couldn't.

”I love you,” he told me and pinched my cheek.

”I love you too, Jimmy,” I whispered and sighed.