Reckless

Josh.

The sun was shining, the birds were chirping, and I felt a wholeness in my heart that had been missing for a long time. There was a smile on my face at the realization I was awake before my eyes had even opened.

When they finally did, the smile grew. A familiar room surrounded me: covered in pictures and sketches as well as magazine photos of red carpets. I was laying in the comfiest bed maybe ever, with an open balcony in front of me. The doors were open and the sun was shining brightly through, making me squint.

The only thing that was missing was Louisa.

At the sound of a pencil scraping over paper, my heart skipped a beat. With a look to the corner of the room, I saw her slender, long body slumped over a pad of paper on a chair looking out onto the open balcony.

Softly, like she'd sensed I was awake, her eyes turned to me and her flawless, simply smile shone brighter than the light from outside.

"Hey sleepy."

Her smile mirrored to my lips. One thing that never ceased to surprise me was how simply beautiful Louisa was. Whisps of hair framed her face, with a soft smile on her thin lips. Her eyes were big and brown, almost warm. There was something about the slimness of her shoulders, the unforgivable involuntary beauties of her body that set me afire. It was in those moments I knew I wanted her.

I looked down at the notepad in her hands. "You kept busy."

"The tables have turned." Lou smirked, flipping it shut. "I was feeling a bit inspired."

You inspire me too.

Louisa bit her lip and looked over at me as she slid her sketchbook on the table beside her. "But um, my mom is in the office today. A new issue will be out soon so she should be out too much. I was thinking maybe we could go out."

My cheeks began to heat up. I smiled, sitting up and brushing through my hair. I wanted nothing more than that.

"What time is it?"

"Almost ten."

I nodded slowly. "I have to be in the studio in like, fifteen minutes."

I saw the light in Louisa's face fade a bit as my heart thudded. I wanted to hang out with the girl too. Fuck it, I wanted that everyday. I stood up slowly, trying to figure out a way to make it work.

"Well," I paused, "do you want to come to the studio? It's not much of a hang vibe, but you know. You can see me do my thaaang."

Louisa snorted. "Excuse me, your what?"

"My um," I laughed, looking over at her smiling glare, "don't make me say it again."

"Oh, I wasn't going too."

I shook my head. "Fuck off. No, but will you?"

Louisa bit her lip, the light in her face returned with her soft laugh. I smiled as she nodded slowly. And just with a small smile, my day became ten times better. It was like that with Louisa: being with her made everything better. It made me feel better. I began to wonder if maybe, deep inside, Louisa made me better. Like somehow, Louisa pushed me to be less of a prick. I hoped so.

After Louie put on a loose sweater and some jeans, we went down the fire escape to avoid anyone in the lobby. We walked down the street and grabbed a taxi.

It was only when her hand left mine to get into the taxi that I realized we had been holding hands in the first place.

"They guys won't mind, right? I won't be annoying?"

I laughed, shaking my head. "Nah, they get bored when it's not their time to record anyway. You can keep 'em company."

"I'm glad this is what I mean to you."

"Well, not too much company." I smiled, brushing my hand against her leg. Louisa wasn't phased. Like it was natural, her hand slid into mine. I looked over at her soft face. Her cheek was still a bit red with a blue spot, despite her attempts to cover it. The spot wasn't huge, but you could notice it if you were looking. And I was.

I paused. "Are you okay?"

"What do you mean?"

She wasn't going to make this easy. "Your cheek, love."

"Oh." Louisa paused, a smile still masking how she felt. I could tell she was trying to put on a brave face. Last night was the first time I had ever seen Louisa not strong and sassy. I'd seen her broken. I never wanted that.

I squeezed her hand. "Just, forget I asked. I can't see a bruise. You look beautiful, Lou. Just don't,"I paused, "don't worry. I'm here."

"I know." Louisa smiled. "Just don't worry about me. I'm fine."

But I knew she wasn't. Before I could push the topic further, the taxi stopped in front of the studio and Louisa slid out. I followed in suit, meeting her at the curb and walking up the stairs to our studio with her. As soon as we walked in, yells erupted from the room making me blush. I could tell what they were all thinking.

"WHY HELLO!"

Louisa slid away from me, moving over to my bandmates. All of them had bright, annoying smiles on their faces. I was going to get teased for this.

"Hey guys!" Louisa smiled. "I hope it's okay that I came, I just-"

Max shook his head. "No, no, no love. Take a seat, make yourself at home."

She paused for a moment before taking a seat on the couch beside Max and Chris. Almost instantly they engaged in conversation. I watched for a moment before the box door opened.

"Oi mate, wanna hit some vocals?"

I nodded at O'Grady. "Let's do it."

Louisa smiled up at me as Max chatted her ear off in his typical fashion. I smiled back before following Matt into the vocal box and shutting the door behind me. Like I should have expect, he shot me a cheeky smile the minute it closed.

"So this is the girl?"

I rolled my eyes. "I don't know what the lads have told you, but-"

"She is quite fit." O'Grady smiled, tossing me my headphones. "I'll admit, I did not expect you to move on from Hanna that fast. But props mate, she might be better."

A nervous laugh escaped my lips. "We aren't dating or anything."

Matt's lips formed into the shape of an 'O'. "You may want to do that, mate. She's, well, she's probably the fittest girl you'll ever get. Let's be honest."

"Hey now!"

"I'm kidding but, you know what I mean. She seems good. Just don't screw it up." Matt patted my shoulder before walking out the door, leaving me in the booth.

I paused for a moment, looking out the window at Louisa and my friends. She was laughing that soft, flawless laugh that made me want to either be the source of the laughter, or laugh with her. If there was anything, I just wanted to be near her. And Matt was right: Louisa was the best I'd ever had. She would always be the best.

With one more breath, I put on my headphones.

"So from the chorus of yesterday's track, Josh?"

I nodded slowly. "Yeah."

With one more glance out the window, I sang: "What are we doing? I am so in love with you. I forgot what I wanted to say. What are we doing? You won't change your ways in time, in time."

I knew the words I was singing. And finally, with the stare of the brown eyes, I truly knew what they meant.