Reckless

Josh.

"Hi, you've reached Louisa. If you're calling about Runway Magazine, please call 213-435-2911. If you're calling for personal reasons leave a message and I'll get back to you. Thank you."

I could practically recite that fucking voice mail off the top of my head. I closed my phone dramatically, ready to toss it down to the street below.

Letting out a long sigh, I set my phone down and closed my eyes, looking out onto the strip below. It had been nearly a week since the night I went out with Louisa, and I'd heard nothing from her. Like I didn't even fucking exist.

"Hello sulky face."

I rolled my eyes. "Fuck off."

"And here I thought we weren't going to get tied down to a girl here, mate?" Dan laughed, sitting next to me on the balcony. "Tell me you didn't call again."

"She didn't answer."

Dan laughed again. "She probably thinks she has a proper stalker."

"Wow, thank you for your words of encouragement Daniel." I rolled my eyes. "I thought we had a good laugh is all. Maybe just as mates."

"You're going to me mates with a girl that looks like that?"

I turned to him, a slight smirk on my lips to match his annoying one. "What do you want from me!"

"I think you fancy her."

I rolled my eyes.

"Oh, you for sure fancy her."

"I feel like I'm in fucking secondary school again, you bastard."

"Joshie's got a crush, K-I-S-S-I-"

My smile broke as I let out a laugh before standing up and turning, leaving Dan to sing his girly songs on the balcony. He had no idea what he was talking about. How could I have a crush on the girl when she wouldn't even call me the fuck back? Maybe she was a proper bitch. Maybe she was a waste of time.

Even if she was, I found myself walking down to the lobby, towards a parked cab, and climbing inside.

"Where to, sir?"

I bit my lip and looked out the window. "Um, Runway Magazine?"

The driver just nodded before pulling off the curb. Well, that was easier than I expected.

I nodded softly to myself. Yes, Louie was just a good laugh. The problem was just that she was blowing me off and I wanted to know why. That was it, I told myself. Nothing more.

"You're gonna want the fifth floor, pal."

But as the cab pulled over to the curb besides a shiny, tall building the butterflies filling my stomach sent a different message. I shook it off, paying the driver before stepping out onto the street and watching for a moment as the people dressed in suits and fancy coats walked in and out of the building. Looking down at my jeans, muscle tee, and vans, I felt out of place.

No matter. I continued walking, shaking off the annoying snobby stares from all the snobby business people in their snobby suits.

And as I exited the elevator to the fifth floor, I suddenly had the urge to take off my shoes. Everything was white. The carpet, the walls, the furniture. It all looked like it was designed for the fucking queen, and even she wasn't allowed to touch anything.

Cautiously I stepped out and walked towards the front desk.

"Um, hel-"

The woman held up a finger as she chatted on the phone. I nodded sourly and took a step back.

"Can I help you?" Now she was staring up at me. She was young, maybe a bit older than Louisa. But she gave off more of a Meredith vibe.

"Uh, yes." I put my hands on the desk, making her lip curl, "Is um, is Louisa here?"

The woman just stared. "Louisa St. Vincent?"

"Yes, right good that's the one!" I smiled, taking a step towards the doors. "Is she this way?"

Quickly the woman jumped up from the desk and barricaded me from the door like I was a criminal. I took a step back and put my hands in the air.

"No, you just stay right here, um, what is your name?"

"Josh."

"Good, Josh, I will get Louisa." She put her hand out like I was a fucking dog. "Just, stay put."

I nodded, sitting down on the white couch behind me and trying to act like I wasn't seriously concerned about that woman's well being. Why did everyone treat me like a bug they wanted out of a room? Did I smell?

Suddenly I caught sight of blonde hair in the door I had attempted to walk in. A pair of stunned hazel eyes looked back at me.

I smiled my widest smile and waved, standing up as she burst through the doors, a not-so-excited look to her lips.

"Joshua." She breathed as she grabbed my arm and nearly dragged me out of the office, towards the elevator.

"Louie dear, we need to-"

"JOSH." Louisa stopped me as the elevator door closed. "What the actual fuck are you doing here? This is where I work. Isabelle takes me out of a meeting, telling me some dirty man is waiting for me in the lobby. And what do you know, you came to mind!"

I held my chest. "Ouch, that hurt Lou."

"Just please tell me why you thought it would be a good idea to come here. Enlighten me."

I sighed. "You won't return my texts or my calls. What do you want me to do? I thought we had fun."

"We did."

"Then what the fuck is the problem?"

Louisa sighed as the elevator doors opened. "Nothing. There's no problem, just," she paused, looking down at my outfit and laughing to herself, "you could have dressed better. Just for future reference."

"We can't all be Mr. Fancypants, sorry!" I laughed, happy to see a smile back on her face. "Look, I'm sorry Louie. I was just worried."

She nodded, rolling her eyes. "Come on."

"Hey." I stopped a few paces behind her. "I don't want to be climbing anymore mountains, you hear me?"

Louie laughed. "Oh, come on you big puss. I need to change."

I laughed, looking down at her white dress and blazer. If I had seen the girl walking on the streets back in England, I wasn't sure if I would think twice about her. Sure, she was gorgeous, but normally girls like her didn't spend two seconds on blokes like me. I was rough and she was smooth. We were total opposites, and that didn't bother me. Why didn't it bother her?

We drove a few minutes before we reached a tall, beautiful brick building.

I turned to Louie. "What is this place?"

"It's my building." She smiled before climbing out. "Let's go, I need to get out of these flats."

I got out and followed her to the doors, where she smiled at an older man opening the door for us.

"Hello George, how is my favorite door man?"

He smiled. "Quite well. Who is your friend?"

For the first time, someone Louisa knew that I didn't looked at me like I was a normal human being. The older man tipped his hat and gave me a warm smile. I returned one.

"I'm Josh. It's nice to meet you."

"Josh and I are going to the penthouse. Mind not telling my mother?"

The look on George's face told me we felt the same way about Meredith. "I'll do my best dear."

"Thanks Georgie."

With that Louisa walked me to the elevator and we slid inside, a soft smile on her lips as she looked up at me.

"What?" I asked.

She shrugged. "Nothing, you just look very content."

"I am very content."

"Me too."

Once we got to her flat, I basically saw what I expected to see. Posh, fancy furniture in a large scale room, with a large staircase at the end of a hall. Louisa walked me that way until we reached the upstairs and her room.

Now her room was what I did not expect. It was covered in little drawings, almost sketches, along with pictures of dresses and magazine covers. I walked around, smiling and looking at them.

"Did you draw these?" I said.

Louisa nodded from the edge of the room. "Yeah, I doodle sometimes."

"These are not doodles," I laughed, shaking my head and running my hands through my hair, "these are amazing. Have you ever thought about being an artist?"

She came out of her closet changed into shorts and a t-shirt. She looked as flawless in that as she did in her dress.

She shrugged. "Meredith won't have it. So it's more of a past time, I guess."

Nodding, I peeled my hands over a spiral sketchbook laying on a table.

"Oh!" Louisa said quickly, grabbing the book from my hands. "Nosy fucker."

I laughed. "Hiding porn in there, are we?"

"Maybe," She laughed, leading the way to the glass doors at the edge of her room, "let's just sit outside. It's stuffy."

I nodded, sitting across from her on the two chairs she had set up. I wondered if Louie was aware of how lucky she was, how good she had it. She had a fancy house, and nice clothes, and she was beautiful. But as I watched her face now, I wondered if all those things added up to what she really needed.

"They're just sketches," Louie said, peeling through the book she'd grabbed from me, "But I don't really like anyone to see them."

I nodded. "So draw me."

"Do you seriously want me to?"

"Fuck yeah." I laughed, putting my hand on my chin. "Is this a good pose?"

Louie laughed, hitting my hand away. "No you fuck, just sit normal."

"That's what I was doing."

She laughed, making me laugh. It was silent for a few minutes as Louie looked up at me and back down at her sketchpad, drawing. She looked so focused, her eyes moving with ease.

"Do you like working at the magazine with your mum? Like is that what you've always wanted to be doing?"

Louie paused, not breaking her drawing focus. "Eh, I never gave it too much thought. I guess I just always knew that was going to happen. And I do like working there, it's a good atmosphere and it pays well."

"Is there something you'd rather be doing?"

"I don't really know." She stopped for a moment, but quickly shook it off. "What about you? Always want to be a rockstar?"

"Basically."

Louie laughed. "Of course."

I laughed, looking over at her. "You know, Louie, I also um, I have this clothing like I run with my dad. It's just something fun to do in my down time. But um, if you're interested, your drawings are decent. If you want, maybe we could make a line out of them. Again, only if you want. But I think they'd sell."

This time Louie paused completely, looking up at me. "You're serious?"

"Completely."

"Um," She laughed. "That sounds-"

"LOUUIISSSA DEAR!"

Louie's eyes shot open to meet mine. "Shit."

"SHIT." She spat out.

"Louisa? Are you up there?"

"Um," Louisa stood up, pointing to the plant beside the door, "Yes, coming!"

"You want me to hide behind a plant!?"

"Shut the fuck up," She pushed me behind it, "just please shut the HEY MOM!"

I rolled my eyes, hugging my knees to my chest. This was bullshit. I looked up and noticed I had a pretty brilliant view of Louie's ass. I chuckled to myself.

"What are you doing out here?" Meredith asked as Louie let out a few um's. "Are you drawing?"

"Um, just a bit-"

"Louisa, dearie, we talked about this."

"I know mom, I'm sorry, it's just for fun. Here, I'll be down in just a second." Louisa said, pushing her mom back out the door.

It was silent for a few moments as Louisa shut the door and let out a sigh.

"Is she gone?"

"You're clear."

"Fucking christ." I said, standing up slowly and facing her. "That plant was quite prickly, you know that? Never again."

Louisa didn't laugh, she just nodded. "You should maybe go."

"Louie, come on-"

"Please."

I nodded slowly, reaching towards the handle to her door before pausing and turning back to her. I was not about to be closeted again. "You know, your mom should not talk to you like that. You are so talented, Lou. If you want to draw, you should-"

"You don't know what you're talking about-"

"I know you love it," I shook my head, turning back to her, "And you should do what you want to do, love. You shouldn't have to hide me behind a fucking plant because your too scared your mom will see me-"

"I'm not scared."

"Then what even is it!?"

"She just doesn't understand," Louie looked up at me, "and you don't any better."

I rolled my eyes. "Oh, fuck that! Stop lying to yourself. You have so much going for you, do you see that? And I hate this person you are when you're with her, oh my god, its 'like you're not even you-"

"Please Josh, tell me who the fuck I am. You don't know me at all."

"I know you're fucking talented. I know you get along with almost anyone, I know that you watch Gossip Girl. I know that you hate wearing heels and flats, I know that you have a secret fucking sketchbook that's just for you, I know that you don't care what other people think as long as you are happy." I paused, looking at her. "And I know that you deserve a lot better than what you have, because you deserve to be happy, and this isn't fucking cutting it. I know that you're beautiful without even trying, and-"

I didn't get to finish. Within a moment I felt Louisa's lips touch mine, and my back was against the wall. I gained my composure quickly, kissing her back and letting out lips move together as I deepened the kiss. I gripped her hips as her hands pulled at my collar, moving to my neck. My entire body was in a frenzy as our tongues collided, and Louisa's body arched into mine. I wanted more of her, all of her.

But before I could get any further, her body flung off of mine.

I looked at her, moving towards her again, her eyes somewhat sad.

"Lou." I said as she shook her head.

"You need to go Josh." Louisa said quietly. "Just go down the fire escape so Meredith doesn't see you. I'm sorry."

I nodded slowly as I gripped the railing, looking back up at her. "Don't be sorry."

Louisa just nodded before turning and walking back inside, leaving me alone. I let out a breath and started to walk down the few flights of stairs. And although my heart was slowly sinking to the bottom of my chest, I had the strangest, tingling smile on my lips that I couldn't bear to shake.