To Be Broken

"Did she run away?"

Alex laughed, setting down his drink. "No, but she wanted to. Looking back, I'm sure she wishes she did."

Fred shook his head, looking at the tired looking boy with a certain spark in his eyes when he mentioned the girl in the story. Even so, he was completely enthralled. Alex had a knack for story telling. This fact was made obvious by the realization that the older woman a few stools down hadn't asked for a drink since Alex had set down and was instead pretending to watch an overplayed Seinfield episode on the TV. The man reading a newspaper hadn't turned the page. He was either reading an extremely interesting article, or he was deep into the love story Alex had depicted.

Alex had mixed emotions as the words spilled from his lips. Part of it left an ache of the memories that set their tragic story in motion, and though they were happy in those moments, they all led to an end and that's all Alex could feel.

On the other hand, he hadn't thought about these instances much at all. Something in that resented deep inside him, like he was unlocking a door and the words were coming out at a pace he wasn't even ready for. He'd felt things even he hadn't known about. But looking back, it was all true.

"Go on then!" Fred said. "Don't leave us hanging here, boy. How'd the interview go?"

The woman's attention broke from the television for a split second, as if she had been thinking the same thing. A smile graced Fred's face.

Alex sighed. "It could have gone better."



Matt looked at Alex with a new level of confusion. But Alex wore that smirk like a badge, staring at those blue eyes he hadn't seen since that night way back when.

And Claire, though she looked like a deer in headlights, felt a sense of accomplishment. Alex had remembered her, clearly. That was her badge.

Whether this would prove to be a good or bad thing was unclear to both at the time, and even to Alex has he told the story now.

"Claire," Lila said, patting the seat on the couch beside her, "sit."

She hadn't realized she was still standing. Quickly she obeyed, her hands shaking slightly as she took out her notebook. All she could picture was Alex's smirk and his eyes directly on her, mostly because that's how he'd looked from the minute he saw her. It made Claire uncomfortable and happy at the same time.

"What's your magazine called?"

Alex laughed softly. Leave it to Rian to fill the silence with a genuine question.

"Um," Claire stopped nervously, "The Scene. Just for now, we're still working out the kinks I guess-"

"No, I like that." Alex said quickly, her eyes looking up to meet his as her feelings got the best of her, and a smile graced her lips before she looked shyly away. But Alex had enough of her to feel victorious in that moment.

Jack laughed. "Alex does know a lot about kinks."

"That's going to be the title," Claire said, smiling at Jack, "It'll really get the readers going."

"I can show you a few kinks-" Jack started, staring at the rather large cleavage on Claire's chest.

He stopped as Alex kicked his leg lightly, but enough to make him shut up. He had never told anyone about New Years, for whatever reason. He wasn't sure. Alex guessed he would have to soon, to make sure Jack knew she was his.

Claire shook her head, obviously not phased and going into her business mode. "So, the album..."

The interview went on like usual. Well, as usual as it could have gone. Alex couldn't quite break his stare on the beautiful girl, and couldn't stop thinking about the coincidence of the moment. At the same time, Claire couldn't look him in the eyes. This only drove Alex crazier, and made him more obnoxious, as it her attention became his treasure.

More importantly, and to Matt's joy, Claire got them to do their job and promote their new album through the perverted jokes and pointless side-stories. For the first moment in a long time, Alex wasn't instigated general asshole behavior.

After the interview was a different story.

"Thanks so much guys." Lila smiled, turning off the audio recorder and tucking it in her bag. "We'll let you know when the article is out."

Claire nodded, sliding her binder into her own bag and standing up.

"You guys should come to a show!" Alex burst out.

Matt stared at him. "Alex, we don't have another show for like, a month."

Alex his tour manager off. "Well, you know, the next show. Matt it'll set it up, won't you Matthew?"

"I guess now I will." Matt said, confused. "Um, I'll walk you guys out and you can ask me any other questions you might have. I can't wait to see the article-"

"ALLOW ME."

Matt turned, but he knew it was Alex who had volunteered himself. He had no idea what'd gotten into him, but he was behaving rather nicely. Matt wasn't one to call him out on this, but he felt like he needed to. Something was definitely up.

Alex touched the small of Claire's back, making her jump slightly. Lila watched the scene play out. She was a bit like Matt- she could tell something wasn't exactly right. Or, that there was another part to this situation.

"Nice to see you again!" Alex made a face.

Yep, Lila thought to herself. Definitely something.

Claire was taken off guard. The roles had definitely reversed from that night; here he was the cocky one, the one who knew how to play this game. She was just the girl who had been stuck in rut.

"You too." Claire got out.

Lila coughed. "You too know each other?"

"Well-"

"From shows." Claire uninterrupted Alex. "He's seen me at shows. You know, your shows." She made a face at him, asking him silently to play along.

It took Alex a minute to swallow his pride and switch over the power he had hanging over Claire. Apparently, she hadn't told her friend. A new idea struck him: Did Claire know who he was at New Years?

"Ah, yes. This one is your regular weirdo fangirl."

Alex saw that Claire wasn't happy with that response. It made him feel bad for a moment.

"Just kidding," He laughed as they made their way to the parking lot, "Claire here, she's the best. When was the last time I saw you? I think it must have been New Years."

He wasn't so quick to let go of his devices.

Claire nodded, not meeting his eyes. She hadn't looked at him this entire conversation. They got to the car and Lila left the two alone, already prepared with questions for when Claire and her retreated back to the studio.

Once Lila was out of earshot, Alex leaned closer to Claire. "I wondered if I'd ever see you again. You've got some balls."

Claire laughed lightly. "I was very in the moment."

"It was a good moment, then?"

"Debatable." Claire made a face, and Alex realized he'd met someone who played his game as well as he did.

"Really now?" Alex smiled, moving his hand slowly to her hip. "Well we should hang out again though, and maybe I can win that debate."

She looked into his eyes slowly in that moment. She remembered how they looked on New Years: soft, broken, but innocent. Claire had seen him across the crowded bar, looking solemn and like he was about to leave. And yes, she did know completely who he was.

But these eyes staring at her now were not what she remembered. Claire didn't expect them to be broken, but she kept looking in them for that same look of wonderment. Looking at them now, she couldn't find it. They looked hard and they had a fake tone to them. And slowly, she realized how disappointed she was with the boy she kissed on New Years for the hell of it.

Claire pushed his hand off of her hip and took a step back.

"We shouldn't and you won't." She smiled, shrugging with the type of sass Alex wasn't accustomed to.

Quickly Claire moved over to the passenger seat and slid in, closing to the door as Lila gave her the most confused look she'd ever given her friend.

"Drive. Please, Li, just drive." Claire spat out, closing her eyes. She wanted to leave that sad, obnoxious boy in the parking lot wondering what he'd done. She was mad at herself for being so nervous about today when all he turned out to be was scum.

And Alex did stand in that parking lot, looking at the car drive away and trying to figure out where he'd gone wrong. For the first time in a long time, he didn't like the feeling of his own skin.

All he could muster out was a quick, simple, "What the fuck?"