Saviour

The next morning I was released from the hospital, after Andy had returned with a change of clothes for me that was. I was instructed what to do and how often to take the medication I was given. I had to have someone with me at all times when taking it, and that slightly bugged me. I get that’s how I tried to end my life, but surely they can see that I realised it was a mistake, I was stupid and let the little voice in my head get the better of me, I couldn’t fight it off anymore. I knew, just knew that if I just waited for Andy to finish their tour around Europe, I would have been fine, I would have felt safe, like I was wanted and no one would ever have to find out what happened.

The doctor had just finished explaining things and handed me my medication.

“Is there any questions before you leave?” He asked.

I shook my head no, and looked at Andy to see if he had any. He also shook his head and the Doctor smiled.

“Alright. The forms have been signed, so you’re free to go.” He smiled. “Remember what I said. Make sure you have someone near you when you take your medication. We don’t want another episode of what happened do we?”

I shook my head no, and he smiled.

“Oh and one last thing.” He said, stopping by the door. “Make sure you eat your three meals a day, your weight is becoming a concern.” He said.

“Don’t worry Doctor; I’ll make sure she does it.” Andy said.

I looked at him then at the doctor wide eyed.

“Good. Well you’re free to leave whenever you’re ready.” He said and left.

“Thank god he’s gone.” I mumbled, grabbing the bag with my clothes in.

I walked into the little bathroom that was connected to the room, and changed out of the crappy hospital gowns and into my leggings and jumper. Once I fixed my hair, I left the bathroom and went back over to the bed, where Andy had gathered the bags that he had brought over in the last couple of days.

“Ready to go?” He asked once we checked we had everything.

I nodded and he grabbed my hand, leading me over to the door and opened it, letting me out first. He grabbed my hand again and led the way out of the hospital, saying thank you as we passed the desk with the doctor behind, he nodded in response and went back to whatever it was he was doing.

“How you feeling now?” Andy asked once we were in the car.

“Like shit.” I mumbled.

“Why?”

“I dunno, I just don’t want to go back to Jens, what if they don’t want me there anymore after what happened?” I asked.

“You know what’s wrong?” Andy asked, turning to face me seeing as he hadn’t started driving yet.
I shook my head no, waiting for him to continue.

“You worry too much. You’re always wanting to make sure you get things perfect for everyone, but it’ll never happen. No one can be perfect for everyone, although in my eyes, you are the definition of perfect.” Andy smiled.

I felt myself blush as I looked down at my lap.

“But Liz, you need to stop worrying what everyone thinks of you, because every single person will be different.” He placed his finger under my chin, causing me to look up.

“Just remember I love you.” He said and kissed me.

“I love you too.” I breathed once we pulled apart.

Andy smiled and started the car, backing out of the parking spot he was in. The drive back was silent, a comfortable silent at that. Both of us just happy to be in each other’s company.

When we arrived back at Jens, I became nervous. I sat in my seat just staring at the house. Gosh, they’re probably disgusted in me. Why would they want someone who tried killing themselves living under their roof? I was brought out of my thoughts by Andy knocking on my window. I looked at him confused, I didn’t hear him get out of the car or hear him get the bags out of the trunk. He opened the door, and waited for me to get out, shutting the door and locking it, before grabbing my hand as we walked up to the door. He knocked on the door and gave my hand a quick squeeze, before the door flew open, revealing Hayley. She squealed and ran to hug me, only to stop when I coward into Andy’s side. Just because I was comfortable with Andy hugging me and stuff doesn’t mean I was ready for everyone else to.

“Come in.” She beamed. “The girls are here to see you.”

I gave her a look, and the smile that was once evident suddenly gone.

“Lizzie, just come and say hello at least please.” She begged.

I sighed and let go of Andy’s hand and followed her into the lounge to see Ellie, Laura, Sophie and Hannah sat there. Ellie ran over to me crying and went to hug me, again, causing me to move away. She looked at me hurt and confused before turning to Hayley.

“She’s only letting Andy touch her at the moment.” Hayley said.

“You’d think after everything that happened she’d be afraid of going near other guys.” Ellie said.

“I know, I thought the same. Especially after what he did.” Hayley said.

“Great, just talk like I’m not here why don’t you.” I mumbled.

Hayley looked at me before looking back at the others.

“I can’t believe you told them.” I muttered grabbing my hair and turned away from her.

Just then Andy walked in.

“Everything alright?” He asked, walking over to me.

“Fucking brilliant.” I groaned. “I love it when my friends go around telling others about my business.”

“Lizzie I didn’t mean to.” Hayley said.

“I don’t care, Hayley. You shouldn’t have done it.” I shouted, causing everyone to jump.

Andy placed a hand on my shoulder, but I shrugged it off.

”Shut the fuck up.” Laura shouted.

We all looked at her.

“Lizzie, do you realise how fucking selfish you sound right now? Hayley was doing what she thought was best for you.” She said.

“Explain to me what good about her going around telling people about my own family abusing me.” I said tearing starting to make their way down my cheeks. “About my father raping me.” I sobbed, turning around and burying my face in Andy’s chest.

He wrapped his arms around me, trying to calm me down. I lifted my head up to see Jen stood there with her hand covering her mouth. I looked at her wide eyed, before turning around at the girls. They were are looking at me in shock.

“Lizzie, Hayley never told us any of that.” Ellie cried.

I looked over at Hayley, shocked, before running out of the room and up the stairs. What have I done? I’ve accused Hayley of telling people something she hadn’t, yet I told them. I stopped outside of my room, too afraid to go in; worried it would have everything left from my attempt still in place. I leant against the wall next to my door and slid down it, sobbing, burning my head in my knees.

I heard someone come up the stairs before stopping in front of me, crouching down. I knew it was Andy, just by the shoes. He placed a hand on top of mine and gently rubbed his thumb over the back of my hand, calming me down slightly.

“Shh. Everything will be alright.” Andy all but whispered.

“I don’t want to be here, Andy.” I cried.

“Don’t talk like that, please.”

“No, I don’t want to stay in this house.” I cried. “They’re judging me. I can tell.” I sobbed.

“Shh.” He said, moving so he was sitting and pulling me into his lap.

“I can take you back to mine if you want.” He said, kissing the top of my head. “Do you want to do that?”

I nodded against his chest.

“Come on then.” He said, indicating I get up.

I stood up and waited for him to stand.

“Go and pack for however long you want to stay.” He said.

I nodded and went to my door. I hesitated opening my door, my hand hovering over the handle.

“It’s fine, Liz.” Andy said coming over and opening the door.

I looked in and saw it had been cleaned up, and stepped in. I walked over to my closet and grabbed a bag before gathering some clothes to last me at least a week. If I would stay that long, I don’t know, but I’d rather have too much than not enough.

When I finished, I picked the bag up and went to put it over my shoulder, but Andy took it from me.

“Have you got your medication?” He asked.

“It’s in the bag downstairs by the door.” I said.

He nodded and we left my room, and made our way downstairs, to everyone else. Andy placed the bag on the floor by the stairs and told me he’d go and explain to everyone. I nodded and grabbed hold of the bag from the hospital and pulled out all my medication, placing it in a carrier bag before packing it into my bag for while I stay at Andy’s.

Andy soon returned with Jen following. She smiled at me slightly before talking.

“You take as much time as you need at Andy’s, alright sweetie? We’ll be here if you need us.” Just come back when you’re ready.” She said.

I nodded and thanked her as Hayley came out. She looked at us confused.

“What’s going on?” She asked, looking between us all confused.

“Lizzie is staying with Andy for a while, until she gets things sorted.” Jen answered.

Hayley’s bottom lip quivered before she nodded.

“O-oh.” She stuttered. “D-don’t be gone too long alright?” She said.

I nodded.

“I’ll try not to.”

“Please look after her.” She said to Andy.

“Like I don’t already.” He said.

“I know. I’m just scared now.”

Andy gave her a quick hug, and I waved at her as we left the house. I got into the car as Andy held the door open, before he shut it and made his way round to the driver’s side, and then we were on our way to his place.

Once we got to his place, and I had settled down a bit, we cuddled up on the sofa, watching some weird programme on the T.V. Andy had his arm around my shoulders, with my head resting on his chest, his fingers gently brushing through my hair. I continued to stare blankly at the T.V. screen when I heard Andy sigh. I moved my head to look up at him.

“What’s wrong?” I asked.

“Nothing.” He said. “I was just thinking.”

“About what?” I quizzed.

“Everything that’s happened the past couple of days.” He muttered.

I pressed my lips together in a thin line. This is the first time Andy has mentioned it since he heard about what happened when he listened to me explain to Dr. Keegan.

“Liz, I know you don’t want to talk about it, but I have to ask you one thing.” He said.

I looked at him and waited for him to continue.

“Have you reported him to the Police?”

He looked me in the eye, making me feel uncomfortable, causing me to look away.

“Lizzie?”

I shook my head.

“No.” I muttered. “No I haven’t.”

“Why?”

“Because he’ll go through with his threat.”