Saviour

Everyone watched as Andy stormed out and stood outside, running his fingers through his hair.

I sighed and stood up.

“Sorry.” I muttered to everyone before leaving them.

I walked out of the Coffee Shop and stood in front of Andy, just staring at him, seeing if he will tell me what’s wrong. When he looked at me, he shook his head and looked away.

“Andy. What’s wrong?” I asked.

He looked at me again, his eyes dark.

“You’re just going to let her walk back into your life like nothing happened?” He asked. The anger was evident in his voice.

“No, of course not.”

“Could have fooled me. What was that in there?” He pulled out his box of cigarettes and lit one.

“I was just being nice. You just happened to of come in while we were chatting and I wasn’t going to tell her to leave because my boyfriend and his friends had just turned up.” I said.

“I would have.” He muttered.

“Well I’m not you, Andy. I’m me, boring little old me”

“I just don’t like the fact that you’re treating her like nothing happened.” He sighed.

“Trust me Andy I’m not. The reason she’s still there, is because she seems to think you guys are so bad for me, something about not being safe or whatever.” I chuckled shaking my head. “Like she could talk, my whole childhood wasn’t safe. Plus I wanted to show her that I have a better life, I have people around me who actually like me. I wanted to show her that I don’t need her anymore, you guys are my family.” I said.

“Still, isn’t it a bit early to introduce her to your new ‘family’?” Andy asked, making air quotes with his fingers when he said family.

“Probably.” I sighed.

We stayed silent for a while; Andy finished his cigarette, dropping the last of it to the floor before stomping it out.

“She said she didn’t join in on purpose.” I said quietly, although Andy heard me perfectly.

“So you’re just going to forgive her because she said that?”

“No, of course not. I’ll never forgive her, how can I? Even though she said she didn’t mean it, it didn’t mean that when my Dad was out she couldn’t have gone to try and get some help, not just for me, but for her.” I cried.

“Why the fuck would she need help? Liz, she helped your Dad beat you. If she needs any help it’s because she’s fucked up in the head like him.” Andy all but shouted.

“She needed help, because he was doing it to her as well.” I cried.

“Then why the fuck was she letting him do it to you?” Andy shouted.

I flinched and moved away from him, crying. When he realised, he stepped closer to me, causing me to step back. A look of hurt on his face.

“Liz, come on, I didn’t mean to scare you.” Andy said trying to grab my hand.

“I-I think I’m going to go back to yours. You go and finish what you need to do in the studio. I’ll be fine.” I said, trying to stop the tears.

I turned away from him and went back into the Coffee Shop and over to everyone so I could grab my belongings. CC was the first to notice me and jumped up to hug me, causing me to move away.

“I don’t want to be touched.” I said quietly.

He frowned but nodded.

“You okay?” He asked.

I nodded.

“Yeah, Andy and I just had an argument. I’m going to head back to his, let him calm down.” I said.

Grabbing my phone and the spare key off of Sammi.

“Is this because of me?” My Mom spoke up.

“I suppose I can’t lie.” I muttered. “Yes Mom, it’s because of you. I made a mistake today. I shouldn’t have come to hear what you have to say and I most definitely shouldn’t have introduced you to the guys, it was all a big mistake. I haven’t forgiven you and I never will, because I will never forget what you did to me.” I said.

I stood up straight and turned to everyone again.

“Mom, I’ll see you the day of the court case. Everyone else, I’ll see you whenever.” I said and started walking away.

As I got closer to the door I heard someone running then grab my arm causing me to flinch and pull away. I turned around and saw my Mom stood there.

“Is that boyfriend of yours controlling you? Is that why you’ve suddenly changed your mind?” She questioned.

“No, I told you from the very beginning I haven’t forgiven you. I never will Mom, get that into your head.”

The look of fury on her face scared me; I turned around and tried to leave the Coffee Shop before she could do anything, but she was too fast for me. She spun me around and before I had the chance to figure out what was going on I heard a slapping sound causing my head to snap to the side and my cheek to sting. I raised my right hand to my cheek and rubbed it gently.

“And that’s exactly why I didn’t believe you when you said Dad forced you to join in on the beating. You’re a liar Mom, you never wanted me back into your life, and if you did it was so you could continue what Dad isn’t doing.” I said.

“Elizabeth, I’m so sorry. I don’t know what came over me.” Mom ‘cried’ trying to reach for me.

By now, CC and Sammi had run over to see what is going on.

“I think its best you leave.” Sammi said pointing to Mom.

“Since when have you had the right to tell me what to do?” Mom seethed.

“Since you went back on what you said to Lizzie.” Sammi answered.

Mom growled before pushing past us and going out the door. She stopped in front of the window and looked down, before her mouth started moving. Me, Sammi and CC all looked at each other.

“You both go out there; I’ll get the keys to Jeremy’s car.” Sammi said.

We nodded and went outside to see my Mom shouting at Andy, who was sat on the floor, ignoring her with his head in his hands.

“Y’know Andy, you could do much better than my pathetic daughter.” Mom smirked.

Andy head snapped up. He narrowed his eyes and glared at her, standing up.

“Who are you calling pathetic?” He growled.

“Elizabeth.” Mom smirked.

“You mean the daughter you helped get beaten by her father, you mean the one you just tried apologizing to? Are you suddenly back to your old ways again because she wouldn’t let you back into her life? Or is because you never actually left your old ways?” Andy asked, getting up in her face.

When she didn’t answer he continued.

“Were you going to try and win her over with some sob story about who you didn’t mean to join in and shit, so that when she came running into your arms you could just continue from where you left off.”

Mom glared at Andy, before slapping him, exactly the same as what she did to me, just minutes ago.

“You want to watch your mouth, pretty boy. You don’t know who you’re talking to.” Mom growled.

“You want to watch who you call pathetic then, because it’s quite obvious that the pathetic one in all this is you.” Andy said.

Mom slapped him again, can his head to snap to the other side this time, so he was facing us. She looked at us before walking away. I stayed put and stared at Andy, he looked at me, rubbing his cheek, as Sammi came out.

“What have I missed?” She asked.

“Way to make things worse Andy.” I said. “Thanks a lot. Who knows what she’ll do now.”

I turned away and looked at Sammi in a way to say ‘can we please leave?’ She nodded and we turned to CC, said bye to him, before walking back to the studio where Jinxx car was.

“Are you alright?” Sammi asked as she drove back to Andy’s.

“Yeah.” I said quietly.

When we got to Andy’s, Sammi shut the car off and got out with me. She took the key from me and opened the door, following me in. I sat down on the couch and tried to calm down the thoughts in my head.

“Do you want me to stay?” She asked.

I shook my head no.

“Are you sure?”

“Sammi, I’ll be fine. I just have a migraine coming on, so I’ll go up to bed in a minute.” I said.

“Alright, well call me or Jeremy if you need anything.” She said.

I nodded and she left. I sighed and rolled the sleeve up on my jumper again, to reveal the scar on my right arm. I stared at it and started crying. The temptation was there again. Why did I go today? I can’t think straight, it’s messed everything up. I thought I was slowly getting back on track. I sighed and wiped up eyes before standing. I looked at the clock and saw that it was 4pm. fuck it; I’m still going to bed.

I went upstairs to the Andy’s room that I was sharing with him. I entered the bathroom and looked at myself in the mirror, I was a mess. I wiped under my eyes again and reached for my make-up bag which contained the tissue that hid my blade. I pulled it out and unravelled the tissue before staring at the blade. I picked it up with my left hand and held it to my wrist.

Don’t do it.

I shook my head trying to get the voice out of my head. Just one cut won’t hurt, surely.

But one cut leads to two, and two cuts leads to three.

I looked back up into the mirror and dropped the blade on the floor. I can’t do it; I’ve Andy enough as it is. I turned the tap on and splashed my face with some cold water, before going back into the room, not bothering to pick up the blade.

I stripped off the clothes I had been wearing and grabbed my pyjamas, before getting under the covers of the bed and pulling them up to my shoulders. It wasn’t long before I fell into a dreamless sleep.

**

I woke up the next morning around 8am, to an empty bed. I looked confused before getting out of the bed and slowly making my way downstairs. I walked into the lounge and saw Andy asleep on the couch. I sighed and left the room and went into the kitchen to make myself a coffee.

I sat in the kitchen and slowly drank the coffee, when I heard Andy moving about in the lounge before there were heavy footsteps going up the stairs. I sighed and looked down at the table, when I heard him running back down and coming into the kitchen.

“Liz?” He questioned.

I looked up at him and saw him holding my blade.

“You haven’t have you?” He asked, fear written on his face.

I shook my head no.

“Let me see.” He said stepping forward.

“Andy, I said I haven’t.”

“Then you won’t mind me seeing your wrist.” He answered.

I sighed and held my arms out to him. Even though there were no new scars on there his face still showed how much it hurt him to see the scars from the night I tried to end my life and all the previous scars from before that. He sighed and brought both wrists up to his lips. Kissing them both. I pulled my arms back and stood up.

“I’m going to get ready to see my Councillor.” I said.

“What time are you seeing her?”

“At 10. Why?” I asked.

“Because I want to go with you, I’ll call John and let him know I’ll be going to the studio later.” Andy said.

I nodded and went back up to the bathroom so I could shower and get ready.

Once I finished my hair, I went back downstairs to see Andy had changed from his Batman pyjama pants, to black skinny jeans with holes at the knees and was wearing a white vest, which showed off his tattoos.

We got into the car and Andy started the engine.

“You ready?” He smiled.

“As ready as I’ll ever be.” I sighed.