Saviour

“I came to apologise about yesterday.” Mom said walking over to me.

I started backing up. I felt someone place their hand on my shoulder, causing me to flinch. I turned around and saw it was Sammi. I stared at her, and backed closer to her.

“Stay away from me.” I said towards to mom.

“Elizabeth, don’t be like that please.” Mom begged.

“Like what? Like I hate you?” I asked. “Because I’m never going to stop being like that towards you, mom. Hate is a strong word, but it’s definitely what I would use towards you and dad.” I said.

“You don’t mean it.” Mom ‘cried’.

“Yes I do and stop with the fake tears. You want these people to think you’ve done nothing wrong and I’m just a disgraceful daughter.” I spat.

“I’m sorry though, Elizabeth. I really am.”

“Stop.” I said as she made her way to me.

She ignored me and came over trying to hug me.

“I said fucking stop.” I shouted.

Her eyes darkened then sadness washed over her.

“Please. I’m sorry.” She cried.

I shook my head.

“I can’t forgive you mom, not only did you hurt me yesterday, you hurt Andy as well, the one person I love more than life.” I said.

“What did you expect me to do? He was up in my face and being rude.” She snapped.

“No mom, he was just telling you the truth, but you didn’t like it, so did the only thing you know how to do and hit him.” I said.

She shook her head and cried.

“Get out of here mom, I don’t want to see your face around here until the day of court. If you come anywhere near me before then, don’t think I won't make a trip down to the police station again and this time tell them how you helped dad.” I said.

Her eyes widened and she looked around for help. She looked back at Jen, who was stood at the doorway with her arms crossed just watching us.

“I’m sorry.” Mom whispered before walking past us.

Once she was gone I walked up to Jen and she pulled me into a hug.

“How are you doing Lizzie?” She asked.

I pulled away from her and smiled slightly.

“I’m slowly getting there.” I said.

She nodded.

“You here to see Hayley?” She asked.

I nodded.

“She’s not home at the moment, her dad has taken her out for the day.”

“Oh right. Well can you let her know I came round to see her?”

“Of course sweetie. I’ll get her to give you call.” Jen smiled.

I smiled back and nodded.

“Thank you Jen. I’ll see you soon.” I smiled.

She nodded and Sammi, Ella and I left, walking back to the car. We all slid in and sat there in silence when Sammi turned around in her seat to look at me as I was in the back seat.

“Do you want to go somewhere else? Or go back to the studio?” She asked.

“I really don’t feel like going anywhere else to be honest.” I said quietly.

Both the girls nodded and Sammi started the car and started making her way back to the studio. Both she and Ella were talking among themselves while I sat staring out the window. I was so confused, my emotions were all over the place, especially with the way Andy is acting and with my mom trying to get involved again. I could go from being happy to depressed in a matter of seconds.
I was self-conscious when I went somewhere. I felt as though everyone knew and whenever I went someone they were whispering and pointing at me, even when I look around and not a single person is looking in my direction. My paranoia was getting the best of me and I didn’t like it one bit.

I sighed and turned to face the front of the car, when Sammi stopped. I looked back out the window and saw she had parked outside a café. They both got out and waited for me. I shook my head, getting rid of my thoughts before undoing my seatbelt and opening the door. I stepped out and shut the door before Sammi locked it and made her way in to the café. Ella waited for me and we started walking in slowly.

“Sammi was hungry, so we decided to stop here quickly for something to eat.” Ella smiled.

I nodded and went inside with her. We saw Sammi in the queue and started making our way towards her. I looked around and spotted a free table in the corner at the back.

“I’m going to grab a table.” I said to Ella and started making my way towards the back.

“Wait Lizzie. Don’t you want anything?” She asked.

I shook my head no and continued walking.

**

We soon arrived back at the studio. We walked in and found John sat at the desk, Jake and Jinxx next to him while Ashley and CC were sat on the couch playing on their phones. I looked around and saw Andy in the vocal booth, looking down at something.

John said something to him and he nodded before closing his eyes and started singing. I stood there and watched him as he let himself get lost in the music. I listened to the lyrics and felt the emotion from Andy’s voice, enter my own body. I smiled slightly and looked around to see everyone else watching.

When he finished, he opened his eyes and looked up. He waited for John to tell him what to do next, completely ignoring the fact that us girls were now back, not that I wanted him to stop everything completely just to come out and see us. But it would have been nice for a smile or a slight wave or something.

I sighed and sat down as John spoke to Andy before we could hear Andy singing again. I looked around again and frowned. Everyone was doing their own thing, Jake and Jinxx had moved away from John now and put the guitars down as Sammi and Ella sat on their laps, CC and Ashley were playing on their phones, but also talking about the new record, while Andy and John were working. But I was just sat here, I don’t belong here.

I stood up again and made my way over to the door and left the room before exiting the building walking back to Andy’s.

When I arrived back, I let myself in with the key Andy gave me and made my way into the lounge. I switched the television on and left it on some documentary about wildlife. I brought my legs up onto the couch and rested my head on the arm rest, watching to television and I slowly felt myself falling asleep. It was long until sleep had taken over me completely; blocking the sounds of the television and my mind started replaying that horrifying day all over again.

I was brought out of the terrifying sleep a few hours later, by Andy who was stood over me, a look of concern on his face.

I stretched and sat up properly before picking my phone up on the table and saw 8pm at the top of the screen. I frowned and looked back at Andy.

“Ella said you ran into your mom again today.” He said, standing there still.

I nodded.

“What happened?” He asked kneeling in front of me.

“I don’t really want to talk about it.” I mumbled.

“What did she do? She didn’t hurt you again did she?” He panicked.

“No.” I sighed.

“Just tell me please, Lizzie? I’ll let it once you tell me.” He begged.

I looked him in the eyes and sighed.

“It’s nothing major, I promise. She was just at Hayley’s house claiming she was sorry and started crying.” I said.

He frowned.

“And that’s all?”

“Yes Andy. That’s all.” I groaned.

He nodded and stood up.

“How was Hayley?” He asked.

I shrugged my shoulders.

“I don’t know, I didn’t get to see her. She was out with her Dad for the day. Jen seemed out though.” I said.

“Well that’s good.” He said.

I nodded and turned back to the television which was still on, but was now on one of the music channels. I sat watching it while Andy went into the kitchen. I heard him moving things around. It quietened down a bit, but I could still hear him walking around and singing quietly.

About thirty minutes later, he came back into the lounge.

“Dinners ready.” He said.

I looked at him and frowned.

“I’m not hungry.” I said.

I stood up and went to leave the room and go upstairs, but Andy put his arm in the way.

“Liz, you need to eat, it’s important that you do. You have no idea what damage you could be doing not eating. Just do it for-“

“Shut up!” I shouted interrupting him. “Just shut up.” I said, suddenly crying.

Andy stood there in shock, just staring at me. I was shocked as well. I have never reacted like that and I never expected me to be like it towards Andy.

I looked away from him and brought one of my shaking hands up and ran it through my hair.

“Can we just go one day without you reminding me that I need to eat? Please?” I cried.

“We can’t Liz, you heard what the doctor said.” Andy said softly.

“I know, he said my weights and concern and you said you’d get me to eat. But Andy listen to me, I know you think you’re doing what’s right, but I need to you stop worrying too much. I’m not purposely choosing not to eat, I just can’t today. I haven’t felt hungry once, everything that has happened in the past 24 hours has been too much and the last thing I’m thinking about is food. So please just give it a break.” I said.

I looked back at Andy and saw guilt and hurt in his eyes.

“I’m sorry.” He whispered, wrapping his arms around me.

I ignored him and slowly lifted my arms to wrap them around his waist. Andy buried his face in my neck, giving it a gentle kiss, causing me to shiver as I buried myself into his chest. We stood there for what seemed like hours, when I felt Andy shaking.

I pulled away from him and looked up to see him crying.

“Why are you crying?” I asked, holding his hand.

“I just- Everything with the past week have finally all got to me. From the call I received from Hayley before the day I flew home, telling me you were suicidal, to me walking into your room and Hayley’s just as you collapsed. Finding out what you dad did and knowing I couldn’t save you because I wasn’t even in the country. Seeing the scars on your arms every morning while you’re still asleep next to me, knowing I couldn’t talk you out of it. Going to the Police station with you so you could finally report that disgusting human being and now having to take you to see your Councillor every week because he’s messed with your head. Seeing the anti-depressants in the medication cabinet upstairs. You seeing your mom yesterday and her then going back on her words and hitting you.” He wiped his eyes before continuing.

“I’m sorry for shouting at you last night and this morning. My emotions are all over the place right now. The sadness with seeing you so down and the anger with your dad and myself for not being able to help you. I just kept it all bottled up and I exploded and took it all out on you. I’m so sorry Liz, I really am. This morning got too much, when I went into the bathroom and saw your blade on the floor, it scared me, I thought that you were considering putting yourself in hospital again. I couldn’t bring myself to speak to you while we were waiting for you to see Dr. Keegan, I felt that if I said anything would push you over the edge and make you run home and hurt yourself again.”

He was sobbing again. I hugged him and let a few tears escape. He wrapped his arms around me tightly and cried into my shoulder.

“I don’t want you to do that ever again Liz. I love you way too much. I don’t know what I’d do if I lost you.” He cried.

He let out a sob and pulled away.

“I love you too, Andy.” I said, giving him a soft kiss.

We pulled away and he looked me in the eyes.

“If you took your life, I’d take mine just so I could stay with you forever.”