Saviour

Two weeks it’s been since I went back to Hayley’s place. In those two weeks, I’ve felt myself just going downhill. I know it’s because after I ate that pizza the night I came back, I refused to eat anything, I felt like it was such a big mistake eating the Pizza, it was so greasy and fatty. All I have eaten since then is the occasional Apple and it filled me. But also, Hayley and Jen weren’t able to convince me to eat, like Andy could. Also, because I was in such a daze when packing, I left my anti-depressants at Andy’s and refused to go back and get them, so I haven’t taken those for two weeks and I’m definitely feeling the consequences.

I suppose the one good thing that has happened since then, is that I’m back at work; it’s pretty much the only time I’m not going insane in my head. I’m not constantly sat wondering how Andy is, or what he’s doing, like I would back at home. Yeah, he’s tried calling me, but I never pick up, simply because if I do, I’ll know I’ll just break and tell him I’m moving in, even if I don’t know what his temper is like now. I’ve had the rest of his band calling me, asking me to call Andy or what not, but I just told them no. CC would occasionally visit me at work, he came just two days ago and stayed with me while I was doing a photo shoot for some new up and coming band, to be honest, I didn’t listen when I was told their name, it was the last thing on my mind. CC was the only one who knew not to keep mentioning Andy around me, one of the many things I loved about him. He is like the brother I never had.

At this very moment, I was sat in my office at work, waiting for the clock to strike twelve, so I can go and see my Councillor at twelve fifteen. I looked back at the photo I was trying to edit, to notice I still hadn’t changed a thing about it. I sighed and rested my elbows on the desk and placed my head in my hands. I just couldn’t concentrate.

I looked up at the clock and saw it was five to twelve. Close enough. I stood up and grabbed my bag before making my way out of my office and towards Katherine’s to let her know I’ll be back in about an hour or so.

Once outside, I pulled my cardigan tight around me, feeling rather exposed outside while others were about. As I continued walking down the street, it felt like everyone’s eyes were watching me, I turned around and saw them carrying on with their own business. My mind is playing tricks on me. I shook my head and looked straight ahead, feeling a dizzy spell coming on. I stopped and leant against the wall, taking deep breaths and waited for my vision to focus properly once again. When it had I continued the walk to my Councillor. I made it there in about ten minutes.

I signed myself in and sat down, waiting for Dr. Keegan to call me in. I sat playing with the ends of my cardigan the whole time, until my name was called. I looked up and saw Dr. Keegan stood there smiling. I stood up and made my way over to her, offering her a small smile. She let me into the room before closing the door. I sat down in the seat in front of her desk and waited for her to start talking.

“So, how have you been since I saw you last week, Lizzie?” I shrugged and looked down at the desk.

“Okay I guess.” I said quietly.

“Things still not great with Andy?” She asked.

I told her all about what had happened between Andy and I last week, from his break down to his anger and him asking me to move in.

“No. I’m still not speaking to him.” I frowned.

“So he’s been calling you?” She asked.

I nodded.

“Alright, just make sure you talk to him soon though, alright?” She said.

I nodded and waited for her to continue.

“Has anything good happened this week?”

I smiled slightly and nodded.

“You going to tell me?” She smiled.

I chuckled and nodded.

“Yeah. I’m back at work.” I said.

“Excellent. How is it going?”

“Good. It’s the only thing that is really keeping me sane.” I said.

“Well it’s good it keeps your mind off things. What is it you do?” She asked.

“I’m a photographer for a magazine.” I said.

“Wow. Have you ever used your photography to express how you feel? You know, like musicians use their music and what not.” She said.

I nodded and told I had a whole portfolio full of them at home.

“Is it possible for you to bring it with you next week? I would love to have a look, then maybe you can talk me through them all, it may help you in a way of talking to me about things as well.” She said.

I smiled and nodded, agreeing that I would do that.

Before I knew it, the time was up. Dr. Keegan got my appointment slip out and wrote down the date and time, before putting a reminder to bring my portfolio. She handed it to me and I thanked her. As I went to stand up, she stopped me and asked me to sit back down.

“Lizzie, I’m a little concerned about your weight.” She said.

I frowned and wrapped my arms around myself, shielding myself from her stare.

“Are you eating?” She asked.

“Yes.” Lies.

“Alright then, you won’t mind writing me a little diary on the food you eat in the next week.”

She continued to stare at me as I shifted uncomfortably in my seat under her stare. She knew I wasn’t eating and this was her way of either getting me to start again, or admit that I have a problem. I wasn’t going to do either. I can lie in the diary and write that I’ve eaten my three meals. It can’t be that hard.

I nodded to her, letting her know that I’ll do.

“I’m expecting a diary for the next seven days on what you have for breakfast, lunch and dinner. I want to know that you are eating.” She said.

I nodded and stood up. I shook her hand and left the room. I stopped in the waiting room and placed the bit of paper in my bag before standing up straight and started walking out of the building. I got outside into the sunlight and became light headed again.

I stood still and waited for everything to stop spinning and I held my arms out beside me to keep me up right. Once it stopped, I started walking again and made my way back to work.

When I reached the offices again, I made my way in and went over to Katherine’s office and knocked on the door. I heard her mumble a ‘come in’ before I opened the door and poked my head in and let her know I was back. She held her hand up and signalled for me to give her a minute as she continued to type. I pushed the door open more and stood straight as she finished typing and looked up.

“Take a seat.” She said smiling.

I nodded and shut the door before sitting down.

“As you know the next couple of weeks we have our work experience guy here. He’s out in the waiting area. We’ve decided that you would be the best to teach him the basics in being a professional photographer for the first week then next week we’ll have you teach him on how to edit the photos and give him a shot at doing a whole photo shoot.” She said.

I nodded and waited for her to continue. She pulled out and small file and handed it to me.

“His name is Curtis Anderson and this folder just contains everything I would like you to do with him, there are some work sheets for him to do as well towards the end, so us and his school can see how much he has learnt from you.”

“No pressure then.” I laughed nervously.

Katherine smiled.

“You’ll be fine Lizzie; we picked you because quite honestly you’re the best we have.” She said.

I didn’t say anything and just looked through the file.

“As you know, the cover for our next issue is All Time Low, they’re here now, they’re waiting in the studio and they’ve agreed to let you take the work experience kid with you.”

I nodded and stood up.

“Alright, thank you. I’ll go and introduce myself to him and bring him back to my office quick so I can put my bag away and get my camera before we make our way to the studio.”

Katherine nodded and smiled before going back to whatever she was doing before I came into her office.

I made my way to the reception, where I saw a boy who looked to be around sixteen and walked up to him.

“Hi, are you Curtis?” I asked.

He looked up at me nervously and nodded. I smiled and held my hand out to him for him to shake.

“My name’s Lizzie and I’ll be in charge of helping you these next two weeks.” I said.

He smiled slightly and nodded.

“If you’d like to follow me, we’ll head back to my office so I can put my bag away and we’ll go through this.” I said holding the folder up.

He nodded and stood up and followed me to my office. I held the door open for him to go in which he did and stood there awkwardly until I told him he can sit down. He chuckled nervously and sat down and I put my bag in my cupboard and grabbed my phone out of it before going over to the desk. I moved the mouse for the computer and the screen lit up, showing me that I forgot to log out before I left earlier and the picture I had tried to edit was still there.

I looked away from the computer screen and to Curtis, to see him biting his lip nervously.

“There is no need to be nervous.” I laughed lightly.

He smiled and apologized.

“We’re all nice here, I promise.”

He nodded and I opened the folder and pulled out the first two sheets of paper, both of them having the same on. I handed one to him.

“Write your name on that and don’t lose it. It’s everything you’ll be doing for the next two weeks.” I said, handing him a pen.

Once he handed it back, I told him that every day before he leaves he’ll come back here with me and fill in a sheet about the day and then there will be a little questionnaire on his last day. I asked him why he choose this for his work experience and what made him want to become a photographer, he started going into full detail as to why he loved photography, causing me to smile slightly.

I looked at the clock and sighed. I looked over and Curtis as I stood up.

“I guess we better get you to our photo shoot.” I said.

He nodded.

“Would you like to know who it’ll be?” I asked smiling.

He smiled slightly and looked at me nodding.

“All Time Low.”

His smiled widened and I chuckled, picking up my camera, tripod and the different lenses. He automatically grabbed the tripod from me and I smiled a thank you and placed the two bags with my camera and lenses over my shoulders before leading the way to the studio.

I opened the door and let him in before following to find the band was ready and waiting for us. I led the way on where the place the equipment before leading Curtis around and introducing him to the team. They all smiled warmly at him before I made my way over to All Time Low with him.

“What’s up? My names Lizzie, I’ll be your photographer for this afternoon.” I said.

They turned around and smiled.

“I’m Alex.”

“I’m Jack."

“Rian.”

“And I’m Zack.”

I nodded and shook their hands.

“This is Curtis, he’s doing work experience with us for the next fortnight. Katherine tells me you’re okay with him helping with today’s shoot?” I questioned.

“Yeah, it’s no problem, honestly.” Alex said.

I smiled and nodded. I looked at Curtis to see him extremely nervous.

“Talk to them for a little bit, I’m just going to set up the camera.” I said.

I turned to the band and told them I’ll be ready shortly before the turned to talk to Curtis.

I made my way over to my camera and set tripod to the correct height before pulling my camera out of the bag and putting the correct lens on it and set it on the tripod. I snapped a few pictures before telling everyone that we were ready.

Curtis came over and stood by me, while the guys in control of the lighting stood near the controls and the hair and make-up artists stood off to the side.

“Alright, today is mainly just you watching what I do and ask any questions throughout about it all.” I said to Curtis.

He nodded and stood to the side a bit, but close enough to watch what I was doing.

“Alright, first pose.” I shouted to the band.

They moved into position and I started snapping pictures, shouting change when I wanted them to do a different pose.

About two hours later, I was onto the last individual picture of Alex when someone placed their hands on my shoulders causing me to jump. I spun around and saw CC stood there grinning.

“What are you doing here?” I asked.

“Decided to come and see my best friend in the whole wide world.” He grinned.

I chuckled and shook my head.

“I’ll be over in a minute, I just need to finish this shoot.”

He nodded and nodded towards Alex and apologized for interrupting. I turned back to Alex and asked him to go back into the pose which he did and a snapped a couple more photos before letting him know the photo shoot was over.

I turned to Curtis to see him watching me.

“Did you understand all that?” I asked.

“I think so.” He said slowly.

“Don’t worry. If you haven’t I’ll be here to help you with it tomorrow.” I said.

“Tomorrow?” He asked shocked.

“Yeah, I’m going to go home tonight, get in contact with some people to see if any of them are willing to volunteer having you take their pictures.” I said smiling.

He nodded nervously when CC came running over again.

“I’ll volunteer.” He said excitedly.

“You’re in the studio tomorrow.” I pointed out.

“No I’m not.” He grinned.

I looked at him confused.

“We’ve finished tracking the drums, so I’m pretty much finished in the studio.” He said.

I shrugged.

“If you really want to.” I said.

He nodded. I laughed and shook my head.

“You just love getting in front of a camera.” I chuckled.

He grinned and nodded.

“Alright, I think we’ve found your volunteer.” I said to Curtis.

He grinned and said thank you to CC who just high fived him.

I started packing my camera away when All Time Low came over to me, all of them saying thank you and that they can’t wait to see the photos. I smiled and thanked them also and told them I’d send them some copies of the photos once I had finished editing them. They all hugged me before shaking Curtis’s hand and left.

Once it was pretty much just us left in the room I turned back to CC.

“Someone else is here to see you too.” He said to me before I had the chance to say anything.

“Who?” I asked.

He pointed in the direction I hadn’t looked at since being in the studio, to see Andy stood there. Not looking to great if I’m honest. I sighed and turned to CC.

“Go and talk to him please?” He begged.

I sighed and nodded, turning to Curtis and telling him I’ll be back in a minute.

I walked over to Andy and he stood up straight, running and hand through his hair, which was slowly starting to grow back again.

“Hey." He said.

"Hey."

“Sorry.” He said. “Sorry for everything. For rushing us, for forcing you to constantly eat, for almost making you do things you didn’t want to and sorry for almost turning out like him” He said.

I nodded and just looked at him.

“Who’s that boy?” He asked.

“He’s here doing work experience.” I said.

“He likes you.” He said.

“Don’t be silly.” I sighed.

I was suddenly really cold and shivering, even though I knew the studio was possibly the hottest room in this building. I started swaying slightly.

“You okay?” Andy asked, gripping my elbows.

I didn’t say anything and stared at the blank wall behind to try and stop the room spinning. It eventually did and I stepped back.

“I’m fine.” I grumbled.

“No you’re not, come on.” He said.

I shook my head, telling him that I needed to take Curtis to my office and speak to him about tomorrow and get him to fill a sheet out. He called over to CC and asked him to lead Curtis along as he took me back to my office. As we got there, I saw Katherine stood there waiting. I looked up and panicked, causing my head to spin again. I groaned and rested it on Andy’s shoulder.

In the end, Katherine told me she’s talk to Curtis for me and told Andy to get me home so I could rest and be okay for tomorrow. I felt him nod before he led me out to his car. He helped me into the passenger seat before he got in the driver’s seat CC got in the back.

When the car finally stopped, my head had stopped spinning and my vision was focused. I looked out the window and saw we were outside Hayley’s. Andy helped me out the car, CC got out as well and he walked in front and knocked on the door and Andy helped me. Hayley answered and panicked when she saw me being held up by Andy, she let us all in as she rushed into the lounge, before her mom came out and helped Andy get me in there and onto the couch.

He instructed Hayley to go and make me something to eat.

“When was the last time you ate?” He asked me gently.

I cried, scared of how he would react.

“The night I came back here.” I said quietly.

I heard CC and Jen gasp as Andy frowned and rubbed my arms.

“Why?” He asked.

I shrugged.

“No one is able to get me to eat like you can.” I cried.

He shushed me and pulled me to his side.

“We’ll get you back on track.” He said.

I nodded and wrapped my arms around him.

“I’m so sorry for the way I’ve been acting lately, Liz.” He said quietly.

Pressing his lips on the top of my head.

“I love you.” He whispered.