The One for Me

I watched the rain petal on my window sill. I had gotten a note form Haku again. He had told me that Jonghyun was back and could see me as soon as tomorrow. But I wanted to see him to tell him that I was tired of him hurting me. He had been gone a whole week and had his servant write his letters to me. Minho had spent the night and he laid in bed sound asleep. He had no trouble sleeping at all. But me? I awoke at the same time in the middle of the night and I could never go back to sleep.

“Kibum,” whined Minho. He was like a child sometimes, always requiring my attention. “I’m
cold!”

I closed the window and turned to him. “Better?” He shook his head and I climbed over him in to Jonghyun’s spot on my bed. I couldn’t let him sleep on that side. He snuggled up to me and sighed happily. How could he be so content when I was such a mess? Bastard.

“Stop glaring at me… it’s scary,” Minho mumbled in my shoulder.

“Sorry,” I retorted. Minho looked up at me and sighed. He sat up and lifted his arm over me so that I could snuggle in to him. I smiled sadly and laid my head on his chest as a single tear slipped from my eye. “I hate him.”

“No you don’t,” he countered.

“I do,” I said. My voice cracked in to this high pitched sound. Minho rubbed my back as I sobbed in to his chest. Why was I like this? Why couldn’t I just get over him?

“Kibum… look Jonghyun is in a difficult situation right now,” he sighed. He sounded as if he was going to say something else. He tended to stutter when he was lying.

I nodded. “So am I! Couldn’t he stop being selfish and check on me just once?” I sat up and crossed my legs in to a pretzel. “How am I supposed to be okay with this?”

“You continuing to hold on to him is selfish Key… especially when he is the Prince and one day he was going to have to learn how to take his father’s position,” Minho pointed out. “And it was selfish of him to want to keep you when he has a fiancée.”

“Did you tell him he was being selfish?” I asked. I glowered at him just to be sure I would be getting the truth out of those thick lips. “Did you tell him that and now that’s why he won’t come see me?!”

“No goodness Key,” Minho spat angrily. “I’m telling you this because you’re the one acting like you’re the only one being hurt. You’re not, both of you are in a position that is awkward and inappropriate.”

“Your relationship with Taemin is inappropriate,” I snapped.

“I saw him dancing with you at my lake party and got curious… he’s not a girl I know that. But I still like him so get over yourself.”

“Me?”

“Yeah neither I nor Taemin are princes… are relationship may be forbidden but we aren’t royalty… so sneaking around is easy,” he shrugged.

I put my fingers in my ear. “I don’t want to hear about you deflowering my Taemin.”

“Unlike you two… we can actually control ourselves,” Minho said dryly.

I stuck my tongue out at him. “I can control myself thank you.” He raised an eyebrow and I smacked his face. “Shut up.”

“I’m sure Hana-ssi will do fine taking care of him,” he smiled.

I punched him. “SHE IS A BITCH AND SHE’S NOT CUTE, NICE, OR FUNNY!”

“That hurt Key,” he whined as he rubbed his arm. “You’re just talking out of jealousy.”

“I don’t need to be jealous,” I smirked. “I’m the one that Jong is dreaming about okay? And if you met her you would see the evil she has on her face. I bet you she really isn’t even all peaches and diamonds.” I crossed my arms and glared outside. The rain had fallen hard, like I had for Jonghyun.

“You’re so stubborn,” Minho scoffed. “How does Jong deal with you?”

I sneered. “He screws me.” Minho covered his ears and hummed a lullaby song. Truthfully I had no idea how Jonghyun dealt with my jealousy, insecurities, and constant trashing. He must’ve have loved me to deal with that. Right?

****************

I walked in to the Tavern and smirked when everyone turned their heads to me. I guess I really was attractive, girl or not. I nodded to the bartender and smiled at the man undressing my body with his eyes. It was almost the same look Jonghyun gave me when he first saw me here. But for some reason Jong’s stare was more intense. I decided that wearing white pants, which were tighter than usual, and a black short sleeve shirt that showed off my shoulders and arms would do the trick for today. The rain from the day before seemed as if it had never come. The roads and grass were dry. The man beside me eyed my collar bone. For some reason that was everyone’s favorite spot, until I got up it was anyway.

“Can I get something soft please?” I asked the bartender. She knew what I meant because I had never changed what I got.

“I’ll pay for it,” the man beside me spoke. I flicked my eyes over to him and bowed in thanks. “What’s your name?”

“Key,” I answered politely. “Yours?”

“Kiesop,” he nodded. “Want to dance?”

I shrugged and he held out his hand as he stood. I could have said no. I could have walked away or just left the Tavern all together. But I was tired of being rational so I took his hand and allowed him to lead me to the dance floor. The man was tall, taller than me. He had probably a half inch over Taemin even. He had an oval face and blue eyes. I had no idea where he gotten blue eyes but I didn’t question it. I watched as he put his hands on my hips and turned me so that his chest was to my back. I grinded my body against his. I had missed it. Dancing like that.

“You smell good,” he whispered in my ear. My head rolled to the side as he pressed his lips to the soft skin of my neck. I rolled my hips down his body and back up again. I felt free, like no one could stop me from doing anything I wanted. He turned me so that I was facing him. He leaned down and lifted my chin up.

He was going to kiss me?! I had no idea what to do. I didn’t know if I should have pulled away or just let it happen. His lips brushed mine and I closed my eyes. But he had pulled away. I opened my eyes to see Jonghyun standing right where Kiesop once stood.

“What?” I asked. He looked angry. I actually never had seen him look so pissed off. His jaw tensed and his eyes bore heat on my skin. I looked down to get away from his intense stare but somehow it was burned in my memory.

“Let’s go,” he said. He grabbed my bicep and tugged me towards the exit.

“Ouch Jonghyun! Why do you have to pull me?” I protested as I pulled my arm away he only grabbed my wrist and held on to it tightly.

“Let’s go.”

I glowered at the wooden floor until I passed Kiesop. He smirked at me and a blush crept over my cheeks. Did he like me? My thoughts were interrupted when Jonghyun ushered me in to the carriage. “Why do you all of a sudden want to be around me?” I snapped.
We had already headed off to the castle at least that was where I thought we were going. “My father wants to meet you.”

“What?” I shrieked.

His face softened and he put his hand on my thigh. “Don’t worry… he’s not hard to talk to.”

“I’m not worried about him,” I lied. I pushed his hand off of me. He had no right to touch me.

“Why are you being like this?”

“You’re the one who didn’t want to see me for a week and then you had Haku write letters for you? If you didn’t want to be with me you should’ve said so,” I ranted.

“But I want to see you,” Jong said with a pouted lip.

“Great way of showing it asshole,” I mumbled. I scooted away from him and sighed. Why didn’t we just take separate carriages? If his father wanted to see me it meant he knew about us. It had to.

“I-I saw my mother,” he stuttered. His words were almost inaudible but I heard them.

My head snapped over to him. “You what?”

“She told me… to stay with you,” he smiled. But it was sad. “She approves… but maybe you should stop cursing so much.”

“She said that?” I asked skeptically. He nodded and I scooted back over to him. “And?”

He turned to me. “I have a plan because I know I can’t live without you… if I could just get to Hana’s parents then maybe everything could work out so we don’t have to go to war and I could…”

“You can’t be with me while you’re a prince Jong,” I shrugged.

He grabbed my neck and connected out lips eagerly. “We can.”

I shook my head. “You have to have some way to continue your blood line… I don’t have the equipment to do that.”

He cupped my hand in his and stared at it. I wiped a tear as we pulled up to the castle. He hoped out of the carriage first and helped me down. We walked silently in to the royal side. I saw eyes roaming over us. Some were suspicious, some looked as if they were indifferent and some looked as if they knew. They knew what was going on between us.

“Let’s go to the library we have an hour to kill before he summons us,” Jong sighed. He took my hand in his and lead me to the library. After locking it he turned to me. I let go of his hand and went to sit by the fire.

“So why does your father want to see me?” I asked.

Jonghyun sat behind me and I laid my head back on his shoulder. Our arms tangled together as I waited for a reply. “I would give it up.”

I cocked my head to the side. “What?”

“I would give up being a prince to be with you,” he said solemnly. I sat forward. It was the only way I was able to catch my breath. My heart pounded in my chest like drums at a festival. “I’m in love with you… I-I can’t be without you.”

I said nothing. All I did was turn around to see his face which was already blurry because of the tears in my eyes. Our lips connected and it was if a fire had been started. He lifted my shirt over my head and I could feel the heat radiating off my body. It wasn’t just from the fire we were next to. I laid down as he crawled on top of me as I rejoined our lips. I parted my mouth to let his tongue enter. A moan released from my throat and I was sure my pants were hurting me. The snug fabric had restricted me. I unbuttoned Jong’s shirt and slid it off his arms without breaking the kiss. This was how are first time was supposed to be, slow and romantic in front of a fireplace.

But the setting somehow fit for only that moment. It wouldn’t have felt right anywhere else. I could hear the wood crackle as the fire burned. The room smelled of fresh books and ink. Jonghyun’s body smelt of musk and a hint of jasmine cologne. He must have bathed in the smell for it to linger as long as it did. His biceps flexed as he moved against me. His hair swung perfectly over his face in sweat. The soft grunts that released from his mouth cause moans from my throat in response. He was gentle. He kissed my lips softly and tickled my face when he brushed my hair to the side.

“Jong,” I moaned. “I love you.”

“I love you more,” he replied breathlessly. He pecked my lips and our eyes locked together. For some reason he looked more beautiful than ever hovered over me. Even with sweat coating his body and his chest heaving for air, he looked like an angel. The fire’s silhouette created wings on the side of his face. And I smiled. All I could do was smile.

*************

Haku caught us making out in the hall outside of the King’s room. I was embarrassed even though he knew about us. I still thought of him as a child who shouldn’t be subjected to witness such vulgar things. Still we strolled in to the King’s room anxiously and sat at the table set for three. The room was huge, as big as Jonghyun’s if not a little larger. He had the same fluffy carpet and golden walls.

“Don’t look so scared,” Jong whispered to me.

“Easy for you to say he’s your father,” I spat. My knee was shaking violently under the table. I couldn’t stop it.

“Good evening,” a serene voice greeted us. I immediately stood and bowed. The King chuckled and waved for me to sit. “You’re very kind.”

“Thank you,” I grinned. I bowed again not sure of how many times I would have to.

Jong rolled his eyes at me. I noticed that he didn’t show his father any respect when he came in. He didn’t even acknowledge him. “Father… why did you call Key here?”

“You’re such an impatient child,” King Onew sighed. He gave me a smile and I couldn’t help but smile back. His grin was wide and bright like the sun. I would’ve killed for such an attractive smile. His hair seemed to have been getting longer since it curled at his shoulders. “I just wanted to see how Sun-Ja-ah is doing?”

“Good,” I nodded nervously. Did he really just want to ask about my mother? Why would he care about her?

“Seriously?” Jong scoffed.

“Jonghyun,” I hissed.

King Onew put up his hand. “It’s alright Key… I am stalling. So I hear you have been spending a lot of time together.”

I blushed as I watched Jong shrug nonchalantly. “So.”

“Well I know that you may think your being sneaky but you’re not… I know that you are in a secret relationship.”

“Who said we were being sneaky?” Jong sneered as he put his arm on the back of my chair.
King Onew sighed. Why was Jonghyun acting so rude? I didn’t like this side of him. “I’m sorry,” I bowed. I stared hard at my balled hands. They were whiter than usual.

“Don’t be,” said King Onew. I glanced up at him and saw the wide grin across his face. “If the circumstances were different… I would be all for allowing Jong to love whomever he wanted, even if the person he loved was a boy.”

I had no reason why I felt relieved to hear that. Jong however, scoffed. “But since the circumstances aren’t different you’re going to demand he stay away from me or you’ll have him jailed?”

“No,” his father snapped. “Key,” he waited until I was looking at him to continue. “You understand that this marriage is to save your life right? It’s to save your mother’s life and my son’s life. This has to happen so that we don’t put our country through the burdens of going to war.”

“He knows that damn-it!” Jong shouted as he stood. Tears pricked my eyes. Yes I knew it. But having it spoken out loud did make a difference. “Why are set on ruining my life?!”

“That is not appropriate behavior Jonghyun… especially in front of our guest,” King Onew stared his son down.

I kept my eyes on the floor as the tears I had been holding trickled down my cheeks. I heard Jong sigh and I heard the seat creek beside me. He turned my head to him with his index finger and smiled. “I’m sorry.” He pecked my lips softly and I felt my cheeks warm.

“Can I excuse myself?” I asked. I didn’t wait for a response before I was out the door. I roamed off down the hall to calm myself. I needed air. The room had become too stuffy for me.

I heard hushed voices behind a closet door. “Just give him the poison in his medicine!” a woman hissed.

“He’ll notice the color change you idiot,” a voice snapped. The voice sounded really familiar.

“Then give it to me… I’ll give him tea or something and it will happen,” she sighed. “He’s already sick isn’t he? How hard can it be to kill him?”

I stepped away from the door in shock. I covered my mouth so that they wouldn’t hear my gasp. The door knob rattled and I ran down the hall back to the King’s room. Jonghyun looked at me and smiled. King Onew nodded politely. Were they talking about Jong or Onew? Who was sick?

“Hey,” Jonghyun hurried over to me and cupped my face. “Are you okay?”

“Maybe you should sit you look a bit pale,” the King suggested. He was standing staring with concern. I noticed that he didn’t have guards outside his bedroom. So why did Jong?

“I-I just…. I need-“ I bolted out of the room and I didn’t stop. I couldn’t have heard right. Was someone really trying to poison the King? Or Jong? As I caught my breath outside I felt dizzy. All I wanted was to turn back and apologize for running out but my legs felt like lead. And well… so did my heart.