The One for Me

I had the strange sense of peace fall over me. I felt as though I were flying and there was something around my waist to make sure I wouldn’t fall. This feeling remained as I stirred. I caught the white walls of my room and I felt a hand tightly intertwined in mine. Someone was against me, breathing calmed and nearly inaudible. I blushed as the thought of Jong roughly biting my neck slammed in to my memory. The way his hands caressed my body made me smile and I tried my best to forget about him touching my skin with that one finger. I would have done anything to him, to get him to stop teasing me.

I forced myself to smell the sweet aroma of breakfast rather than think about Jong touching me in inappropriate places. Carefully, I wiggled out from under Jong’s loose embrace and snuck out of my bedroom. I yawned as I entered the kitchen and grabbed a plate to add food on. I put on enough so that Jong and I could share. I hummed the song he sung to me lowly as I got a pair of chop sticks.

“Key?” my mother called. She ventured to the kitchen slightly startling me. “Good morning.”

“Morning,” I mumbled. Her peppy attitude sunk once she realized that I was still angry with her.

Suddenly she grabbed my face and turned my head to the side. “What the hell is that on your neck?”

“I don’t know,” I said slapping her hand away. “Bruised scratching myself.”

“I’m not stupid Kibum,” she stated angrily.

“Oh?” I questioned heading to my room with the plate of food.

“Key!” she shouted. “I’m not done talking to you!” I slammed the door and locked it. I prayed she wouldn’t come banging on it. I didn’t want to talk to her. And I was sure she knew, all too well, how a bruise ended up on your neck.

“What’s wrong?” Jong asked stifling a yawn.

I sat on the floor with the plate of food, using the bed as a back rest. “She saw the bruise you gave me…”

“Does she know I’m here?” he whispered. I shook my head and I heard him breathe a sigh of relief. “Is that food?”

I smiled. “Yes…want some?” I turned and popped some rice in to my mouth while slowly pulling the chop sticks out suggestively.

“Are you trying to get me naked?” Jong asked teasingly.

I shook my head innocently. “What does food have to do with you being naked?”

He glared me, his eyes turning in to slits. “Feed me.”

“No,” I scoffed. “I’m not your useless maids. I don’t fall to your feet at any command.”

Jong rolled his eyes and took the chop sticks away from me. I allowed him to gorge himself in rice, eggs, and kimchee. “So good,” he blabbed with his mouth full. If it was anyone else I would have been disgusted, but I found it cute. Why?

I opened the door to my personal bathing room. “I’ll be taking a bath soon…which means you should leave.”

Jong put down the plate of food and walked over to me. “Why do I have to leave?”

“Because it’s bath time,” I said simply.

“Can’t I just take one with you?” he asked, puppy eyes shining at their peak.

My mouth dropped. I had no idea what to say to that. The thought did cross my mind, but I didn’t think it would in his dark holed brain. I felt the heat rise to my cheeks. Suddenly I could smell a small hint of musk on his skin from last night. I didn’t want to send him back sweaty. People would suspect something right? Maybe I was just trying to rationalize for nodding to his request. But I couldn’t resist the need for his touch again.

“I’m going to use bubbles…and you better not look at me undress,” I told him sternly. He nodded like an obedient dog and turned so he was facing the closed bath door. I fumbled with the strings of my pajamas, I had to be difficult and have it made so that it was hard to take off.

“Should I help?” Jong asked cockily. I sighed and let out incoherent ‘yes’. He turned and easily untied the difficult pattern I chose to weave my pajamas closed with. I was quite impressed but I wouldn’t dare admit it. He already had a big head. I watched as he opened the silky top and pulled it off of me, fingers lightly grazing over my skin. “Can you help me with my shirt?”

I gulped and nodded. The feeling of having my chest exposed gave me goose bumps and made me flustered. I crumbled the hem of his shirt and lifted it over his head. It was easy, and I was sure he could have done it himself. My eyes flashed down as his fingers started on his pants and I turned away. I couldn’t see. I had no idea what would happen if I did, but I knew I just couldn’t. Why in the hell did I allow him to bathe with me?

“Turn around…the rest of this is for special eyes only,” I bragged. On the inside I was screaming at myself. What if all that working out made me look flabby and disgusting still? I was struggling with some type of teenage insecurity and I hurried in to the bath. I listened to Jong give out a small harsh cough but I figured it was because of the candles aroma. “Alright you can get in.”

I made sure my eyes were tightly shut as I heard Jong step in to the bath timidly. “The coast is clear.”

I opened my eyes and saw him grinning at me. He was always so smiley. “What?”

“You made it seem like it was your first time being in the bath with someone,” he teased.

“It is,” I pouted.

Jong’s eyes widened. “What? Minho and I bathe together all the time…don’t tell me you haven’t bathed with that skinny boy your always around.”

“Taemin?” I shook my head. “I don’t like being naked.”

“Why not?” he asked concerned. I was starting to feel my heart race faster every time he opened his mouth and for once I wished he would have just shut it.

“I’m not like you… I don’t just boast my body around,” I snapped.

He nodded. “So you have never had sex before either.” It was a statement, not a question which meant he was assuming since I didn’t like being naked.

“How is that any of your business?” I roared.

“I’m sorry… I just… well we’re naked together.”

I perched my lips. “Consider yourself a lucky bastard then.”

“Key that is not what I meant,” he sighed. “I’m just happy that you would let me be with you… like this.”

I bit my bottom lip and averted his gaze. I heard the water slosh as he neared me. I barely had time to think before he was in-between my legs and pressed against my lips. I felt vulnerable; he kissed me even though he was technically promised to someone else. A woman. Someone who he could have kids with and would be suitable for him. While I was just a boy he had a fling with, just someone in the way.

“Stop it,” I whined. I didn’t push him away though. I didn’t want him to leave or get married. I just wanted him to myself.

“I want you Key,” he whispered huskily in my ear. “I need you.”

I let him run his hands over my body, touching where he shouldn’t, and allowed his lips to graze my chest. I gasped when he stroked me, completely putting me on edge. “Jong…”

“Only if you want to,” he nodded already knowing what I was going to say.

“I’m not saying no,” I breathed. He smiled and pressed our foreheads together.

______________

The pain was unbearable. Jong pressed soft kisses to my mouth and neck to occupy me but it didn’t distract me for long. Being in the water helped and I wondered if Jong knew that. I wondered if had planned it. The room smelled of lavender and the bubbles added a fresh garden smell to the scenery. The tight grip Jong had on my hips was sure to leave bruises but I didn’t care. I enjoyed the way his hands would tangle my hair and how he moaned when I released my claws on his back. However, the pain didn’t cease but it did slightly vanish. I was thankful my mother left for her morning duties otherwise she would have heard my scream when Jong penetrated me.

The sweat that formed on our bodies was covered by the few bubbles that were left. The cement walls and scented candles made my bath room the perfect place to lose my virginity. It felt as if it was special just from the rose petals and soft whispers of Jong’s voice. I could feel my stomach twisting and swelling but I didn’t know what it was from. The feeling rose to my chest and then to my head and suddenly a loud moan released from my lips. Jong had the same reaction when I did and we both went limp against each other.

“God what was that?” I huffed heavily.

“An orgasm,” Jong replied. It was a rhetorical question but I chuckled nonetheless. “You are the most beautiful person I have ever seen in my life.” He was staring at me, I could feel it. I lifted my head and kissed him. Of course I was the most beautiful thing to him, I gave him my virginity. It was natural to say that. At least that’s what I told myself.

***************
By the time my mother returned Jong had left and I was sulking on our patio. He had made fun of how I was walking before I kicked him out. ”Key,” he chortled immaturely. “I made you walk funny!” I pushed him. “Shut up! My mom will notice that, don’t you think before you do Kim Jonghyun?!” He shook his head and pecked my lips. “You’re cute when you’re angry.” “And you’re not cute at all,” I snapped. He shook his head, spirits still high. “How can you be so upset after what just happened?”

I had no idea.

How could I still be so upset even hours after it happened? Was it because he was so rough to the point where I was walking funny? Or was it because he had sex with me when he was arranged to be married? I shrugged to myself deciding it was a little bit of both.

“Key…can we talk?” my mother asked. It was one of her hard tones which really meant, Kibum get over here so I can yell at you.

“I guess,” I mumbled eyeing her as she sat down in the seat beside me.

She sighed and turned her body so that she was looking at me. I on the other hand kept my eyes on the garden. Jong loved that garden. “How long have you and Jong been… hanging out?”

“Not long,” I sighed.

“How long?” she prodded.

I glared at her. “Stop stalling and say what you want to say.”

“I know that bruise is from Prince Jonghyun,” she began. “And I know you have been seeing
him even after I told you stay away.”

Did she seriously scold me? I rolled my eyes. “How do you know it isn’t from Taemin?” I asked.

“Taemin?” she repeated seriously. “You haven’t shown any romantic interest in him.” I shrugged. “Kibum…I just want to protect you.”

“I don’t need protecting…I’m eighteen years old.”

“Honey…just don’t have sex with him or engage in any more vulgar activities,” she sighed. “He’s only going to hurt you. The woman he’s arranged to marry? She is here to visit in the castle…they will be getting married and you don’t need to be in the middle of that. He’s using you to get some action before he is sworn to one woman.”

“He’s my friend…” I trailed off. I held in my tears. I would not let her see my cry.

“He can’t marry a noble honey…especial one that had the same parts as him,” my mother said softly. She had gone for the nicer approach instead of the one where she shouted and banished me to another town.

“You mean that’s a boy,” I snapped. Her brown eyes portrayed some type of apology but I was sure that it was only for telling me the truth. Not for being brutal. Her brown hair was in a ponytail and I could see the tired lines creasing on her face.

“Being with him may seem exciting…but Hana-Ko is very pretty and I am sure Jong will do what’s right,” she said. She walked inside and left me to my own daunting thoughts. Jonghyun was going to marry Hana, which was the right thing to do.

Just don’t have sex with him or engage in any more vulgar activities. Well that was too late. He had everything: My first kiss, my first date, and my first time having sex. Could he have really just wanted me for fun? I only hoped that it wasn’t true.