Tell Me All Your Secrets

We had decided to watch ‘Green Street Hooligans’. Well Oli had, and I couldn’t bare to say no to his large eyes. I have a soft spot for the boy, sue me. I honestly couldn’t tell you what was going on in the movie for the life of me.

Mostly because my eyes were too busy being glued to Oliver’s form... The way his eyes would widen at intense parts, or the way a soft giggle would escape his lips when something funny would happen. It made something quiver within me. God he’s so fucking cute.

Fucking hell, I have a problem. A very bad problem. I think... I might fancy Oli. Which was very peculiar seeing as I’ve known him for less than a day. And I have a history not fancing well... anyone. Sure, I can appreciate aesthetics. But that’s a whole fucking different thing than fancing someone.

A whole lot different.

I look back over to see his breathing had steady and his eyes were closed. Aww, he fell asleep. I about cooed in my mind. I couldn’t bear the thought of waking him up after only a minute, and I as much I wanted to sit there and watch him sleep... I think that would be kind of creepy.

I pulled out the book. Why not? I just can’t.. help it. This person, their words touch me. I skimmed a few pages before stopping one that caught my attention. Mr. Book guy must like animals. He names an awful lot of his entries about them.



My eyes watered slightly, the whole thing was scribbled down roughly-- like the person was extremely upset. At the bottom of the page ‘Why me!?” was sketched in huge letters. Dots that looked like tear stains scattered the page. I could feel water dripping down my cheek. This person, their sadness. It made something shift in my chest. I just don’t know what.

It’s not possible to... get attached to someone through things they’ve written, is it?

I shake my head.. no. Is it?

“Mm!” I heard Oli murmur from the side of the room. My gaze turns to him to see his face contorted in displeasure. I walk over to him, shaking his shoulder “Oy! Oli, are you okay?” His eyes snap open widening. Looking around confusedly for a second, realization crossed his face. He nodded.

“Yeah I’m fine mate.” He smiled before having a short jolt. I bite my lip trying not to chuckle. “Hey, I was actually wondering, could I maybe get a chance to see that book you found? Maybe I’ll recognize it, or know who it belongs to?” He asked, another smile lighting up his face... but something about didn’t seem real.

Like he was trying too hard.

I shrugged it off... Maybe he’d tell me eventually. “Of course.” I smiled and handed it to him. He opened it, flipping through before stopping at one. Reading through it, his face transforming as he did so. It sadden deeply-- though that’s not much of a surprise. By the time he finished tears were rolling down his cheeks.

“Oli? Are you crying?” I asked quietly resisting the urge to pull him into my arms, instead I set my hand gently on his shoulder. He wiped his tears, shaking his head. “Nah, my eyes have just been very watery the last couple of months.” he gave me another one of those obviously fake smiles. Bless his heart.

“You don’t have to lie Oli, I cried as well when I read something in this book.” I pushed away my pride and admitted honestly. I swear his eyes widen, but I must have imagined it. He nodded, coughing slightly. “Okay now, we should put away this book and watch the movie, yeah?”

He smiled, it still not quite reaching his eyes-- laying the book on top of the table. I sighed but nodded anway, smiling slightly. A few minutes back into the movie, Oli’s cell started to ring. I zoned my ears away from his conversation. It was private.

I wondered who that book belongs to. Not a girl.. obviously. I remember in one of the passages I skimmed, it said he was a boy. He must be in my grade, considering in was in our years academic room. He obviously he a great way of speaking, and was incredibly intelligent. I wonder if he’s cute?

I cursed at myself. I was not getting in the that thought. I couldn’t be... developing feeings for said unknown guy? Could I?

Oliver’s sigh pulled me out of my thoughts. “It was Dan… He asked where I was and that if I would come now and ask you if you wanted to go. So do you wanna go with me to Dan’s place?” He asked me with a grin on his face.

I couldn’t help but smile back at him. “Uhm, yeah sure mate.” And with that we made our way out of my house. Apparently I only live down the road from Dan. How awesome is that? I know I know. I was pretty excited too, until a voice called from in front of Oliver’s house. “Oliver, where are you going?”

I recognized the voice as Tom, his brother. I cocked my head to the side slightly. It was easy to see that Tom didn’t go to our school. So where did he go? Did he not go to school? Was he still in Primary school? No.. he looks too old for that. So... what? “I’m going to Dan’s, and please tell mum that I’m not sure when I’ll be home, but I’m not going to turn up late.”

Oli turned back to me and we kept walking. The question got too much to handle and I just had to ask him. “Why doesn’t Tom go to our school?” Oli looked at me in confusion for a second before giggling. “Because Tom’s a special kid whose artistic talents need to grow.” He said matter of factly. I raise an eyebrow. “He goes to a special art school for his photography.”

I nod. “Ohh. Cool.” He smiles nodding and pulls me up and into a house I’m guessing is Dan’s. “Danny boy!” I say whilst punching him lightly in the shoulder. “I bet you missed me.” Dan all but rolls his eyes. “Oh totally Josh, those 3 hours I was not in your company almost killed me.”

I smirked. “I know it did.” He rolled his eyes before, greeting Oli. “Hey Chris!” I shouted from across the room. He ran a hand through his black hair chuckling. “Hello Joshy dear. Dan, Oli I’m afraid we may have another Sean.” They all laughed. I scoff, “I’m not that loud.”

Oli giggled. “Yes you are mate.” I pouted softly, giving Oli my puppy dog eyes. “Noooo. You know it’s not true.” His eyes widen slightly as his cheeks got red, “Whatever, you smart arse.” he muttered before he book eyeconnect.

I furrow my eyebrows in confusion, before I squash him up in a hug. “No Oli! Don’t hate my loooooove.” I could hear him laughing softly, and just that brought a smile on my face. “Oy! Loverboy. How are you at Mario Kart?” I smirk, grabbing a steering wheel from the floor-- sitting on the couch. “I’m a fucking beast.” Dan grins sitting on the couch next to me. “Well then show your skills.” I grin.

“My pleasure.”

After a half an hour of Mario Kart that I *coughcough* kicked arse in *coughcough*. We decided that it was time to do something else. “What should we do?” I asked, sitting on the floor leaning up against the couch. We all thought for a moment before chris jumped up with an idea. “Truth or Dare!” He exclaimed.

We all looked at other before shrugging. “Why the hell not?” Dan said shrugging before grabbing a bottle, putting it in the middle-- all of us crowding around it. “Chris you go first, since it was your idea.” He nodded before spinning it. It spun and spun and guess who it landed on? Me. “Truth.” The word slipped out of my lips before I could stop it.

Chris got this evil glint in his eye. “Who do you fancy?” My blood ran cold in my veins. I couldn’t possibly say it. In front of him no less, so I took the only possible way out. It wasn't like, it wasn't the true. “They don’t actually have a name. It’s the person whose journal I found. The way they write sort of... speaks to me I guess.” Chris and Dan gave me a thoughtful look while Oli’s eyes widen.

“Josh.. um, you do know that person is a guy right?” I sigh, I should’ve braced myself for this. Oh well it’s now or never.

“Yeah. I like guys.”